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question for EF guys...

*ebony*

*ebony*

New member
do you find yourself romantically interested in your female friends? do you find it difficult to express you feelings?

i think the reason men are often hesitant to express interest is because of fear of rejection if they think the girl probably does not find them romantically interesting. I think the most common reason a guy would stay quiet, though, is that he doesn't want to wreck the friendship at the moment.

also i think men connect with women on a "sisterly" level, where they enjoy spending a lot of time with a woman without developing romantic interest in her, maybe because he is not at all physically attracted to her or feels she would not be a good match.

Guys if you have been in this situation...please share you expierence if you don't mind.....and tell me if my reasoning is off.
 
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I have alot of friends that are female however I have the opposite problem.. most of my female friends are married and im also friends with their husbands. I am approached by my female friends for romance and sex more than not.. its very odd;.
 
Arabian said:
I have alot of friends that are female however I have the opposite problem.. most of my female friends are married and im also friends with their husbands. I am approached by my female friends for romance and sex more than not.. its very odd;.
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its hard work being handsome sometimes, isnt it?
 
ebonycurves said:
do you find yourself romantically interested in your female friends? do you find it difficult to express you feelings?

i think the reason men are often hesitant to express interest is because of fear of rejection if they think the girl probably does not find them romantically interesting. I think the most common reason a guy would stay quiet, though, is that he doesn't want to wreck the friendship at the moment.

also i think men connect with women on a "sisterly" level, where they enjoy spending a lot of time with a woman without developing romantic interest in her, maybe because he is not at all physically attracted to her or feels she would not be a good match.

Guys if you have been in this situation...please share you expierence if you don't mind.....and tell me if my reasoning is off.
Click to expand...
Speaking for myself I know that would never be the reason.
 
ebonycurves said:
do you find yourself romantically interested in your female friends? do you find it difficult to express you feelings?

i think the reason men are often hesitant to express interest is because of fear of rejection if they think the girl probably does not find them romantically interesting. I think the most common reason a guy would stay quiet, though, is that he doesn't want to wreck the friendship at the moment.

also i think men connect with women on a "sisterly" level, where they enjoy spending a lot of time with a woman without developing romantic interest in her, maybe because he is not at all physically attracted to her or feels she would not be a good match.

Guys if you have been in this situation...please share you expierence if you don't mind.....and tell me if my reasoning is off.
Click to expand...
The best relationships I've had started out as friends... the only reason though I was quiet at the time was she was either seeing someone else, or I thought I had no shot... but yeah, the question of ruining the friendship did always weigh me down, but I was just too selfish to let that hold me back, I think the more depth the dude has, the more quiet he will be when it comes expressing anything about starting a romance, however, dudes like that are not exactly the majority. IMO.
 
stosstruppe said:
There is no such thing as female friends for males, only women he wants to sleep with anytime in the future.
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I'd say that's true to an extent....but not written in stone. It's always in the back of the mind......but I think if you find somebody that you can really connect with, those thoughts never come to consciousness.....

I'd also say the same is true for women, but just at a much smaller scale......then again, how the fuck do I know?
 
chris302001 said:
I'd say that's true to an extent....but not written in stone. It's always in the back of the mind......but I think if you find somebody that you can really connect with, those thoughts never come to consciousness.....

I'd also say the same is true for women, but just at a much smaller scale......then again, how the fuck do I know?
Click to expand...
+1
The more you connect, its weird... I dunno the less it becomes about sex, I'm not articulating the thought, but it just seems the more u connect genuinely, and not as a result of you trying to manipulate the situation, then I have to agree that the whole sex thing kinda dissipates, again I have to reiterate that like Chris I have no fucking clue either.
 
funny don't have any female friends that interest me that way at all. Most of the time I find once I get to know them they're no interest to me. Besides most are older and out of shape and carry way to much baggage around and that's a quick turn off.
 
ebonycurves said:
really, why not? once you voice out your interest things are never realy the same agian.
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Like hell they ain't. If you really want to rail a girl she already knows it. Saying it don't make no difference at all.

If she says no then your still in the same spot. She know you want to rail her, you know you want to rail her, and your stuck in the friend zone.

I mean don't act like you can't already tell when a man wants to ream your poon hole. You know, all the womens know.
 
needtogetaas said:
Like hell they ain't. If you really want to rail a girl she already knows it. Saying it don't make no difference at all.

If she says no then your still in the same spot. She know you want to rail her, you know you want to rail her, and your stuck in the friend zone.

I mean don't act like you can't already tell when a man wants to ream your poon hole. You know, all the womens know.
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nah babe, i disagree, there is always the awkwardness after evan if things are "back" the way they were.

and to address you other comment, yes i can ususally spot when a man is interested in me...but there is just one of those times it is totally unexpected!
 
Never in my life have I ever seen a straight guy have a girl that was a friend and didn't want something more. Ever.

Guys will take what they can get. If all they can get out of you is friendship, then that's better than nothing. We can hopefully move up from there.
 
There is only 1 reason why I wouldn't be interested in a female friend, and is because she is ugly and/or fat. Even if she is my friend's girlfriend I'd be interested anyways but I wouldn't do anything for respect to my friend. But if is a female friend under normal circumstances, hormones decide first.
 
I don't have female friends that I'm romantically interested in
it either happens or they distance themselves
 
Jocques Straap said:
Never in my life have I ever seen a straight guy have a girl that was a friend and didn't want something more. Ever.

Guys will take what they can get. If all they can get out of you is friendship, then that's better than nothing. We can hopefully move up from there.
Click to expand...

ya hang around wait for you to get drunk or need a rebound. Then its on.
 
ebonycurves said:
do you find yourself romantically interested in your female friends? do you find it difficult to express you feelings?

i think the reason men are often hesitant to express interest is because of fear of rejection if they think the girl probably does not find them romantically interesting. I think the most common reason a guy would stay quiet, though, is that he doesn't want to wreck the friendship at the moment.

also i think men connect with women on a "sisterly" level, where they enjoy spending a lot of time with a woman without developing romantic interest in her, maybe because he is not at all physically attracted to her or feels she would not be a good match.

Guys if you have been in this situation...please share you expierence if you don't mind.....and tell me if my reasoning is off.
Click to expand...

yes to all of this
 
*The_West* said:
do you actually know any men?
i would estimate that probably 8 out of ten of your male friends (that aren't gay) want to sleep with you.
Click to expand...

i have a few very good looking male friends....and that all we are, friends.

if there is a bit of flirting sometimes i honostly don't think anything of it b/c it doesn't feel like anyhting other than friedly harmless remarks like the ones friends aim at each other.
 
Jocques Straap said:
Never in my life have I ever seen a straight guy have a girl that was a friend and didn't want something more. Ever.

Guys will take what they can get. If all they can get out of you is friendship, then that's better than nothing. We can hopefully move up from there.
Click to expand...

this is bullshit
 
this is off subject, but who gets to make the tags-keywords on threads, i just notice the one on the bottom of this thread. what the heck? lolololol
 
ebonycurves said:
i have a few very good looking male friends....and that all we are, friends.

if there is a bit of flirting sometimes i honostly don't think anything of it b/c it doesn't feel like anyhting other than friedly harmless remarks like the ones friends aim at each other.
Click to expand...

trust me when i say that they want to do teh sekshualls in you. i know this. men cant help but want to sleep with any attractive female they know. if they could, they would.
so why not start havin some fun?
 
It's all true. At some point in time any man will hope or want to have sexual realations with female friends. The only time I couldn't was a girl, I grew up with and our family was close. She was more of a sister. Other then that it's open season.
 
*The_West* said:
trust me when i say that they want to do teh sekshualls in you. i know this. men cant help but want to sleep with any attractive female they know. if they could, they would.
so why not start havin some fun?
Click to expand...

so your speaking from expierence here West?

lol..i'm not goning to come on to my male friends......i value the relationships as is too much.
 
-Ariel- said:
+1
The more you connect, its weird... I dunno the less it becomes about sex, I'm not articulating the thought, but it just seems the more u connect genuinely, and not as a result of you trying to manipulate the situation, then I have to agree that the whole sex thing kinda dissipates, again I have to reiterate that like Chris I have no fucking clue either.
Click to expand...

i agree with this Ariel....i think some degree of physical intimacy can give friendships an extra wide-band channel of emotional communication where they can enhance the quality and intensity of their friendship. but it doesn't have to be major, it can be anything from an occasional hug to regular sex, depending on the inter-personal affinity and the shared values of the two people.
 
ebonycurves said:
so your speaking from expierence here West?
Click to expand...
yes. at the risk of sounding like dr sketch jr, i have slept with most of my female friends (waiting for pick3 to come and change that to male) and actually stayed friends with them afterwards, too. where's the harm in a little no strings sex between friends?

ebonycurves said:
lol..i'm not goning to come on to my male friends......i value the relationships as is too much.
Click to expand...

awww, so sweet, so innocent. one day soon you will learn that being well behaved is no fun.
 
ebonycurves said:
do you find yourself romantically interested in your female friends? do you find it difficult to express you feelings?

i think the reason men are often hesitant to express interest is because of fear of rejection if they think the girl probably does not find them romantically interesting. I think the most common reason a guy would stay quiet, though, is that he doesn't want to wreck the friendship at the moment.

also i think men connect with women on a "sisterly" level, where they enjoy spending a lot of time with a woman without developing romantic interest in her, maybe because he is not at all physically attracted to her or feels she would not be a good match.

Guys if you have been in this situation...please share you expierence if you don't mind.....and tell me if my reasoning is off.
Click to expand...


That's a hard question to answer. I think you have to be friends before anything else. Once a friendship is established than things can go either way I suppose. It really depends upon chemistry. I think you need to have some type of connection in order to share feelings, and it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual in nature. Some guys are more open to others that way.
 
All guys want the relationship to turn physical. Who the fuck would want to be friends with a girl?
 
Finding a friend for casual sex is just about impossible. At some point he'll tweak and call you a whore or you'll fall in love with him and want more. And you know what a hug leads to, a kiss, and that kiss, to some reverse cow girl, and then you get an awkward slap on the back and Ill see you later buddy.
 
ebonycurves said:
so your speaking from expierence here West?

lol..i'm not goning to come on to my male friends......i value the relationships as is too much.
Click to expand...
yea not until u have a few drinks under your sleeve ... works every time with the female friend thing ..
 
Chocolate_Thunder said:
That's a hard question to answer. I think you have to be friends before anything else. Once a friendship is established than things can go either way I suppose. It really depends upon chemistry. I think you need to have some type of connection in order to share feelings, and it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual in nature. Some guys are more open to others that way.
Click to expand...


i was thinking something along those lines too.....
 
The only straight guys I know that have had "pure" friendships with women were A) Older (and I'm not talking geriatric, just old enough to have started thinking with the larger head); B) In a healthy/happy/committed relationship; C) Not as "Macho" (don't know how to explain this one, I call it having a few extra chick chips, meaning they relate to women well, but it's got nothing to do with being "Gay").

But even the most happily married, comfortably connected to his feminine side guy will have the odd "I wonder what she'd be like in the sack" thought about long time work colleagues or his buddies wives, that's natural. I don't think that's the same as wanting to fuck them. I'd like to believe that men evolving beyond their hormones is the norm, not a rarity.
 
musclemom said:
The only straight guys I know that have had "pure" friendships with women were A) Older (and I'm not talking geriatric, just old enough to have started thinking with the larger head); B) In a healthy/happy/committed relationship; C) Not as "Macho" (don't know how to explain this one, I call it having a few extra chick chips, meaning they relate to women well, but it's got nothing to do with being "Gay").

But even the most happily married, comfortably connected to his feminine side guy will have the odd "I wonder what she'd be like in the sack" thought about long time work colleagues or his buddies wives, that's natural. I don't think that's the same as wanting to fuck them. I'd like to believe that men evolving beyond their hormones is the norm, not a rarity.
Click to expand...
I actually work with a lot of women and I also travel (for work) with a lot of women.
For professional reasons, I don’t hit on them, maybe flirt, but nothing serious.
There is a few though that make me wonder (daydream), but always keep your indiscretions 200 miles from the flag pole.
 
ebonycurves said:
do you find yourself romantically interested in your female friends? do you find it difficult to express you feelings?

i think the reason men are often hesitant to express interest is because of fear of rejection if they think the girl probably does not find them romantically interesting. I think the most common reason a guy would stay quiet, though, is that he doesn't want to wreck the friendship at the moment.

also i think men connect with women on a "sisterly" level, where they enjoy spending a lot of time with a woman without developing romantic interest in her, maybe because he is not at all physically attracted to her or feels she would not be a good match.




Guys if you have been in this situation...please share you expierence if you don't mind.....and tell me if my reasoning is off.
Click to expand...


you must hand around a bunch of wimps. Never been anything sisterly about somebody I want..
 
ebonycurves said:
do you find yourself romantically interested in your female friends? do you find it difficult to express you feelings?

i think the reason men are often hesitant to express interest is because of fear of rejection if they think the girl probably does not find them romantically interesting. I think the most common reason a guy would stay quiet, though, is that he doesn't want to wreck the friendship at the moment.

also i think men connect with women on a "sisterly" level, where they enjoy spending a lot of time with a woman without developing romantic interest in her, maybe because he is not at all physically attracted to her or feels she would not be a good match.

Guys if you have been in this situation...please share you expierence if you don't mind.....and tell me if my reasoning is off.
Click to expand...

No.

If they're friends - i'm happy with them being friends. I don't subscribe to be in 'friend zones'.

Other guys do, and I think it's pathetic and unfair to the female - being a friend only cuz u want to shag her one day.

r
 
ricco561 said:
I actually work with a lot of women and I also travel (for work) with a lot of women.
For professional reasons, I don’t hit on them, maybe flirt, but nothing serious.
There is a few though that make me wonder (daydream), but always keep your indiscretions 200 miles from the flag pole.
Click to expand...
Well, according to your profile you fall into at least one of the categories of men I described.

Frankly, not mixing business with pleasure is the safest bet in the long run. Dating co-workers can be professionally awkward under the best of circumstances. Granted, sometimes it works out but even then it's potentially risky.
 
In my opinion, its hard to be "just friends" with an attractive female. Not that its impossible but its hard. 1 way is that they just aren't into you and you don't have a choice. Another would be that there is someone else that you don't want to hurt by pursuing this "friend."

Guys will always have some kind of sexual thought about a girl they are close to friends or not IF they are attracted to them, and some guys will even if they aren't attracted to them. Now that doesn't always mean they will try something, but its still there.

Now, its different for girls Ebony. I think Chris Rock said it best...."It's easy for women to turn down sex, every guy you have met since you were 16 has been offering you sex... Would you like a glass of water?(how bout some sex) Can I get the door for you?(How bout some sex?)" Girls can be friends with out being interested in a physical relationship because girls are emotional creatures.(yes I know not every girl, but im going off the sterotype of a typical girl) Besides girls like to keep "guy friends" around for other reasons. If they need a favor, or if they need something done and want help or someone else to do it. All you do is batt ur pretty eyes flash a smile and you know you have that one guy friend who will run right over to help....


Just sayin
 
Basikstylz said:
In my opinion, its hard to be "just friends" with an attractive female. Not that its impossible but its hard. 1 way is that they just aren't into you and you don't have a choice. Another would be that there is someone else that you don't want to hurt by pursuing this "friend."

Guys will always have some kind of sexual thought about a girl they are close to friends or not IF they are attracted to them, and some guys will even if they aren't attracted to them. Now that doesn't always mean they will try something, but its still there.

Now, its different for girls Ebony. I think Chris Rock said it best...."It's easy for women to turn down sex, every guy you have met since you were 16 has been offering you sex... Would you like a glass of water?(how bout some sex) Can I get the door for you?(How bout some sex?)" Girls can be friends with out being interested in a physical relationship because girls are emotional creatures.(yes I know not every girl, but im going off the sterotype of a typical girl) Besides girls like to keep "guy friends" around for other reasons. If they need a favor, or if they need something done and want help or someone else to do it. All you do is batt ur pretty eyes flash a smile and you know you have that one guy friend who will run right over to help....


Just sayin
Click to expand...


true..about girls turning down sex. its is much easier than it is for males and you hit it on the mark about why too.
 
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