Names you would want to change

[chris302001]

I'd actually like to change my name to Harry Seaward

 

[AAP]

True story that I have told on here before.

At one of my usual naked Sunday pool parties, someone asked if they could bring a guest. I said sure why not.

This goofy guy arrives and introduces himself as ... John Holmes. We laugh and he gets a bit put off because John Holmes is his real legal name. He is flustered and you can tell he is withdrawing back into his shell like an introvert.

So I am in the pool there thinking "now why on earth would a mother name her child after the most famous porn star of all time? he can't possibly measure up. he had to be laughed out of the school showers."

He has a few margaritas and gets his buzz on. Starts talking a little more to people. Finally he realizes he is the only one still wearing a bathing suit.

So he took it off.

And I was so fucking wrong. Dude had a cock that would have made horses jealous. Now the biggest cock I have ever seen in person was 14" and this was the second biggest I have ever seen since.

then I found myself thinking.... "how on earth did his mother know when he was born he was going to actually 'grow into' that famous name of his?"

Mother Nature was so kind to him. Anyone else with a little cock and a name of John Holmes would have been ridiculed beyond belief.

 

[snacky cake]

Okay, here are actual names of people I have worked with or sued...lol.

I sued a lady named "Ella Fant." Holy cow, that cracked me up.

I regularly have dealings with a man named "Richard Head" or as I like to call him "Dick Head." I swear to God.

I sued a man named "Billy Hill." So, when you put the last name first on documents, it reads "Hill, Billy." Too funny.

 

[snacky cake]

Oh yeah, I also recently sued a woman named "Sheila Stacks-Dix" HEE HEE.

 

[Cardinal Slin]

Agnes - Yuk

and I actually know a James Bond - i dont get why his parents named him James...

 

[snacky cake]

I grew up with a kid named "Jack Daniels." His parents were real rednecks, so I guess that they named him after their drink of choice. The poor kid was electrocuted to death because there was an electrical problem in their trailer. He was throwing water outside with his little brother. His little brother was leaning up against the trailer and it started electrocuting him. Jack grabbed his little brother and pulled him off the trailer and saved his life, but Jack died.

It was very sad.

 

[-Ariel-]

Arabian

LOL
I love it.
There is a now defunct guru named Adi Da who istill writes books, in fact his last one was critically acclaimed by the Harvard School of Business as well the United Nations. He has a 5 million dollar home accordingly 10 million liquid, 5 other esttes, 9 wives or courtesans, as weill as his own in Island in Fiji. His writing is straight up the shit, I mean dude has like mad wisdom. Thing is, he was on the Today Show in 87 for abusing his followers. There have been no public claims since, but there have many accounts that he still emotionally and physically abuses his devotees.
Yeah, he was a guru one of our PHD's, so accomplished and shit followed for 2 years, said that dude actually did develop a encompassing knowledge, and spiritual 'capacity' but he got stuck in zone where if you don't get out you get pwnd by some wicked shit. It's all you the wicked shit, and if you don''t transform it, then yeah, you are gonna be profound, but also driven to do some nasty shit.

One of his earlier teacher names was Bubba Free John, I always dug that name.

 

[Scotsman]

One of the groundskeepers at my university was named Richard Smoker! He was a nice guy but his parents must have hated him on some level.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[perkele]

Japanese twins (from Austin Powers), Fuk Mi & Fuk Yu

 

[the_alcatraz]

Felicity Shagwell
Allota Fagina
Vanessa Hump-a-lot