My Youngest Daughter Brittany Wrote Back, Letter Enclosed

[chesty]

Dear ,
How are you? I'm fine. Thank you for sending pictures and writing. I enjoyed reading about what you've been doing and looking at the pictures. It sounds like you've been busy.
I have been busy lately too. I'm in student council; I'm the treasurer. I'm also on the eighth grade graduation committee. Between that and schoolwork I'm having to work hard too keep up with everything I'm supposed to be doing. I still get good grades though.
I've been playing volleyball since sixth grade. This year I got most valuable
player along with one of my friends. I also got number one passer. I used to be in track, but I didn't like running, Ijust liked the high jump. Our coach said we had to be in some running events so I decided not to be in it this year. I was also in soccer but I quit because it was during volleyball.
I used to be in band, I played the saxophone, but I quit because it got boring.
I'm a year ahead in math. It was easy, but then we started learning the domain and range of graphs and equations, it's confusing.
Life outside school is going good to. We do foster care. Right now we have a two- year-old girl who is deaf. I've learned quite a few signs in sign language.
I have a guinea pig. I'm going to get two rabbits in about two weeks from a friend that is moving. We have a black lab/cocker spaniel mix that is about two years old. We had another dog, she was a que~~~nd heeler, but she kept getting out so we gave her to a friend that lived on a ranch. W~ee cats, then one had four kittens. Then she ran
away, and a car hit one of the kittens, so now we have five cats. We have some chickens I'm not sure how many. My little sister Chani has a rat. We also have a fish.
I have had surgery twice to get teeth removed before they came in. Once was in third grade and the other was about a month ago. I don't have braces yet; I have to wait for all my teeth to come in. I am hoping to get braces by the end of the summer.
I guess that's all I have to tell you. I hope you will write back. I don't know where I'm at on understanding why you let my dad adopt us. I'm not mad at you for doing it, I'm just not sure I completely understand why you did it.
Sincerely, Brittany


I don't know where I will begin, but explaining to her why I did what I did without saying anything bad about her mom or step dad will be hard, but I can do it. I can't believe how much she is like me.

I sure hope I can meet her expections if any. I sure hope the older two write back too!

Man, I am still shaking. The letter was hidden in the mail and I didn't see it until I got into the house. Maybe, just maybe there is a god of some sort.

 

[big4life]

Congratulations.

That's a start and that's what you were looking for. Don't worry about meeting her expectations, she's probably worried about meeting your expectations.


She sounds like she is a good kid.

 

[spentagn]

Congrats Chesty. I'm glad she wrote you, you must feel like a million bucks!

 

[chesty]

Fiery redhead like her mom. Man, I am happy and scared too. Me, 225lb Marine and I am scared. Go figure.

 

[dballer]

I am VERY happy to hear this. Just let it roll. I am sure you will make her understand.

I am soo happy for you man!!!!

 

[Crazier]

Damn. Awesome Chesty. I couldn't read that letter fast enough.
I really couldn't.

She sounds like a little angel.

Keep working it my friend. She's certainly not mad at you. She even said so herself. Just confused. And you'll be able to set that straight... and like you said don't trash her mom at all.

Thanks for sharing that.
--

 

[Sushi X]

congrats chesty. glad to hear you're making progress. i hope things continue to improve.

 

[thebabydoc]

I was gonna write you to see how the situation had progressed.
Really happy for you; see, good things happen to good people.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Don't give up Chesty! Your children are EVERYTHING! I mean - EVERYTHING! It took me nearly 10 years to realize it, but I DID and SO DID YOU. With our kids, it is NEVER too late. See, they don't ASK to be born.. they love us no matter what. No matter how badly we fuck up, they will forgive us. And often times, we don't even have to ask for their forgiveness.... they yeild it willingly.

Odd though, isn't it? That WE are the ones that BRING THEM HERE to teach and love them.... but THEY TEACH AND LOVE US SO MUCH MORE!

People used to ask me why I had so many children. I used to ask myself too. I used to think that it was because I had so much to teach and offer them. But I realized about two years ago that I had them BECAUSE I HAD SO MUCH TO LEARN and GAIN FROM THEM!

I have since spent much of my time trying to give back what they have given me... AND THEN SOME.

They love me whether I am sad or happy, doing well or fumbling through it all, fat and happy or contest-ready, pro-tanned and 8% bodyfat... I don't have to be anyone BUT ME and it is more than enough for them... That is why I am trying so hard to be so much more. I WANT TO EARN THEIR LOVE AND RESPECT EVERY SINGLE DAY! Yes, I know I have it almost automatically because they are still young and I am their mom... but those days are quickly passing me by. I want to EARN IT NOW and CONTINUE TO DO SO. I never EVER want my children to think this of me, "I realized that my mother was REALLY DUMB when I was (fill in the blank) years old." NEVER.

I have no issue with exposing my most basic human weaknesses to them as I believe that this will serve two purposes. I hope that they will learn from my experiences and derive some satisfaction knowing that we made it through TOGETHER and I also hope that when they get into trouble, they won't be afraid to come to me for help - THEY KNOW I WON'T JUDGE THEM BECAUSE I FUCKED UP TOO!

I am also NEVER ashamed to admit that I was wrong, say I am sorry and ask for thier forgiveness. This is one thing that my parents NEVER did....

Chesty, my children are still so very young and I guess it is easy for me to dole out parenting advice when I don't know what the end result of our experiences will be... but it has gotten me this far and it just "feels right".

I am in no way bragging about my day... for me, then sun hasn't even climbed to high noon... I prepare for the worst and hope for the best... I guess, that as parents it is all that we can really do.

It will be hard for you Chesty... It will be no easier for me. We are both faced with very difficult decisions regarding our children and places in life... But I hold out hope believing in the maxim that nothing that comes easily is ever appreciated or even worth having.

I am tired of "settling". It isn't good enough for me and it CERTAINLY is not good enough for my children.

Regardless of what happens between you and your ex - NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT IS TRULY IMPORTANT: YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN!

Do not lie in your response when you explain about the past... but DO NOT FASCILITATE HATE... no good EVER comes of this. Instead, try and focus on the positives - your sacrifice because you loved them enough TO LET THEM GO. YOU MADE A MISTAKE AND YOU ARE SORRY! YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK THE PAST - YOU CAN ONLY OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKES, LEARN FROM THEM AND AFFECT YOUR FUTURE!

Everything in life happens for a reason... There are many days when I am BEYOND CLUELESS of the "why's" of it all... I call/email a friend and talk it out and my faith though shaken is restored. I know you can do this Chesty! I KNOW YOU CAN!

 

[chesty]

Thanks all, I am all teary eyed right now. I want to tell her why, but I don't know if a letter is good enough. I hope to tell them in person.

Bmom, you are probably the closest friend I have in this world now and I can identify with you so very well. Don't ever lose your children. EVER!