my most favorite embarassing moment was when...

[pdaddy]

Well, the fact that you had a raging sweatpants boner probably didnt help much.

Actually I was wearing scrubs, and I wasn't wearing underwear

 

[pdaddy]

why were you practicing that?
are you a priest?

blashphemy!

 

[Smurfy]

Actually I was wearing scrubs, and I wasn't wearing underwear

my son calls that "freeballin' it"

 

[Arabian]

This read is great

 

[heatherrae]

When I was in law school, my contracts professor hired me to create flow charts to break down and explain UCC statutes (hard to explain). Well, I created this flow chart of one of the more complicated statutes and brought it to his office to show him. He liked it, and I asked him if I should type them in the flow chart boxes in the future or just not bother with that. He said that he had a guy who had software to create the flowcharts and that "from now on you can just give me a good handjob." His face turned beet red because he realized what he had just said. I had to play it off like I didn't even notice.

 

[heatherrae]

I went up to a couple of grocery store stockboys when i couldn't find what aisle the walnuts were in and said, "where would I find your nuts?"

Then *I* cracked up before they did, which made it worse.

I did something very similar recently. I asked the guy at the grocery, "do you have the big italian sausage? I can't find it anywhere?"

 

[patsfan1379]

dont touch that squirrells nuts!

 

[jnevin]

I had a 2 in one day embarrassing deal a few years ago.

Part 1: I was at the mall and went to but a shirt at Bannana Republic. I go to pay, and it was this swishy geigh black guy at the counter. (2 things here, I shave my head and I saw Delerious the night before.) So I go to pay, I pull out my wallet, and see I didn't have cash on me. I had just barely got an Amex and forgot I had it in my wallet. I must have seemed surprised to have it because fuggin Little richadr behind the counter gets all sassy and was like,"Honey, you msure this is yours?"

So I said,"What's the matter? Black man can't have a credit card? Er, I mean bald man. 'Cause I saw Eddie Murphy..." My words got quieter and quieter as pretty much everyone within earshot looked at me like I was a douche.

Skip forward a few hours to the Home Depot. I had gas that was loud, and it was really building up pressure. Bad cramps. I kept trying to sneak one out, but they were loud. I couldn't do anything to make them come out quiet, and the Home Depot is like a fart amphitheater. So I go out to my car, look around and don't see anyone close. I let one rip that was as long and as loud as if I would have done it on my forearm. Totally deflated, super loud, complete relief. I got into my car, rolled my window down, looked over at the car next to me, and there was a woman sitting in the pasenger seat with the window down, glaring at me. My ass had to have been 3" away from her head when I let that loose. She didn't say anything. She just glared.

 

[ItalianMuscle27]

my son calls that "freeballin' it"

I call it going commando..

 

[stilleto]

I had a 2 in one day embarrassing deal a few years ago.

Part 1: I was at the mall and went to but a shirt at Bannana Republic. I go to pay, and it was this swishy geigh black guy at the counter. (2 things here, I shave my head and I saw Delerious the night before.) So I go to pay, I pull out my wallet, and see I didn't have cash on me. I had just barely got an Amex and forgot I had it in my wallet. I must have seemed surprised to have it because fuggin Little richadr behind the counter gets all sassy and was like,"Honey, you msure this is yours?"

So I said,"What's the matter? Black man can't have a credit card? Er, I mean bald man. 'Cause I saw Eddie Murphy..." My words got quieter and quieter as pretty much everyone within earshot looked at me like I was a douche.

Skip forward a few hours to the Home Depot. I had gas that was loud, and it was really building up pressure. Bad cramps. I kept trying to sneak one out, but they were loud. I couldn't do anything to make them come out quiet, and the Home Depot is like a fart amphitheater. So I go out to my car, look around and don't see anyone close. I let one rip that was as long and as loud as if I would have done it on my forearm. Totally deflated, super loud, complete relief. I got into my car, rolled my window down, looked over at the car next to me, and there was a woman sitting in the pasenger seat with the window down, glaring at me. My ass had to have been 3" away from her head when I let that loose. She didn't say anything. She just glared.

LOL!! that was good.