My dad is dying...

[blackhat]

The problem is, is that my dad will not take any pain medication. He is awake at night because of the pain, but refuses to take the medication. What it is that causes him to be this way I dont know. As a child I remember him always hiding his feelings and never wanting us children to see him displaying pain or weakness. My dad always was my superman, and today he still is. I have hope that he will be OK, but for those of you in the medical field, here is the result from an abdominal CT scan only. A chest CT scan has yet to be done.




multiple contiguous helical CT images were obtained from the lunb bases through the abdomen to the iliac crest following oral and 125cc of nonionic IV contrast

There is an ovoid stellate noncalcified right lung base parenchymal mass, 1.6cm in diameter. Minimal bibasilar linear parenchymal fibrosis is seen. There is a round noncalcified 0.9 cm anterobasilar left lower lobe lung parenchymal nodule noted.

there is a distal paresophageal partially calcified ovoid soft tissue mass approx 3.4cm in diameter

mild diffuse fatty infiltrarion throughout the unenlarged liver is seen withich also demonstrates a 4mm round low attenuation simiple cyst involving its anterior right hepatic segment. multiple small benign calcified splenic parenchymal granulomata are noted.

there is an abnormal noncalcified inhomogenoue predominatntly low attenuation rounded soft tissue mass compatible with adenopathy, anterior and slightly superior to the pancreatic body. additional moderate adenopathy involves the bilateral retroperitoneum, mid abdominal mesentry and porta hepatis region. there is an inhomogeneous solid moderately vascular right lower pole renal parenchymal 3.6cm neoplasm. small right renal parenchymal simple cysts are seen. the left kidney and adreal glands as well as gallbladder are normal. moderate splenomegaly is seen with greatest longitudinal dimension of 14.5cm


stellate right lung base parenchymal neoplasm

right lower pole renal parenchymal neoplasm

left lung base parenchymal nodule, moderate splenomegaly, and extensive abdominal as well as retro peritoneal and lower mediastinal paraesophageal adenopathy

a constellation of numbers one through three above raise the possibility of either metastatic renal cell carcinoma, lymphoma, or metastatic lung carcinoma favoring metastatic renal cell carcinoma and lymphoma as the most likely ethiologies

small metastatic nodule left lung base

 

[75th]

and I've been told I was going to die more than once...

To go along with this (and all the other good points joe made) I came close to death a few times. One time I thought (as much as one could think at such a time) that I was dead. Joe is right on.

Spend time with him. Do whatever you know will make him happy. Thats all that matters.

 

[hotzie]

damn bro i feel you, just lost my grandma last thursday. Keep your head up and ill keep him in my prayers

 

[blackhat]

All of his friends will be here tuesday to celebrate his birthday. I am sure he will be happy while they are here, the tough part is after they are gone.

Has anyone here lost their dad while he was married to your mother for a long time? How did your mother respond? How long did it take for her to be alright on her own?

I dont want to leave her in a large house all by herself when she has no clue about the bills or anything. Granted I can show her how to take care of the bills etc, but I still would feel so guilty about leaving her. She has been with my dad for 36 years.

 

[Mr. dB]

My parents celebrated their 50th anniversary on July 4, 1993. My mom died in late April 1994. My dad was pretty strong about it, but he was lonely and got re-married by the next Janurary. The busybodies at his church couldn't wait to get him hooked up with one of their old hen cronies, and really worked overtime on him, I guess he was considered a "catch" for the septuagenarian set. He also had the distraction of having to deal with my pain in the ass older brother, who had retired from The Navy and moved back home while he was trying to find a civilian life after 25 years in the service.

He died from leukemia in February 2007. My brother dropped dead from a pulmonary imbolism in December 1994. My stepmom, or ex-stepmom, or whatever the hell she is now, is the closest thing to immediate family that I have left.

I guess that doesn't help with your situation very much, 'cause my dad was the survivor when my mom died and he already knew how to take care of finances and stuff. But if your mom's peer group is typical, they'll find ways to keep her busy and distracted.