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A little healing humor...
I was working out at a twenty-four hour gym, at two in the morning due to job constraints. The only person there was this cute little red headed nursing student who works the desk. I'm in week three of my first Sust/ Eq cycle, so I'm just starting to feel invincible, and horny as hell. Now I've got your attention, right.
So, I'm warming up for my heavy bench day and my joints feels great, the bars just flying up, and its one of those days, or nights, when you really don't even know how much you can lift. You just know it's more than you've ever done. Well, as I'm working my way up I notice the nursing student staring at me, "You need a spot" she says. "No, it's alright", I say, and bang out a set with a little extra snap at the top, so the plates make that sweet music.
Then I watch her walk from behind the desk to get a drink of water, and she's wearing a pair of those running shorts with the slits yo the sides, kind of like those old Dolphin shorts for the other old timers. Immediately, I realize I'm going for a max an I'm sure as hell going to need a spot!
On go more plates and change. "Don't worry," I say, as she squats down over me, looking nervous, "I feel strong tonight."
Enjoying the spectacular view the whole way, I lower the bar, pause it on my chest (bouncing is for the club kids) and blast it up. The thing is, I'm feeling so go, and the view is so great, did I mention the view, that I decide to go for a couple more reps. Half-way down on the second rep, feel my pec tear. WHAM! The bar lands on my strenum, kocking the wind out of me, and I'm pinned, totally helpless. The nursing student, who can't even budge the bar, is yelling for help, but there's no one else there!
To add insult to injury, I've got collars on the bar, so I can't just tell her to back off and dump the whole thing off. She shrieks, "I'm going to call 911!" Shit, I'm thinking, I'd rather die than have a firetruck pull up with sirens balsting and have a bunch of firemen stand around laughing at my pathetic ass! As calmly as possible, I gasp, "No...don't...just take off the collars. She understands what I'm saying, as soon as she gets them off, I dump the bar. BANG!!!
I sit up, sweating, and feel my pec, just praying the thing hasn't rolled up like a window blind, but damn, it feels fine! Just a strain. "Are you, okay?", says the little red head. "Uh," I'm just dying for something witty to say, but before I can, the Mexican family who cleans the bottom floor, busts in all wide eyed. When the red hed explains what happens, they just give me a crazy gringo stare.
I cut my workout short that night.
Thirty-seconds later, the
I was working out at a twenty-four hour gym, at two in the morning due to job constraints. The only person there was this cute little red headed nursing student who works the desk. I'm in week three of my first Sust/ Eq cycle, so I'm just starting to feel invincible, and horny as hell. Now I've got your attention, right.
So, I'm warming up for my heavy bench day and my joints feels great, the bars just flying up, and its one of those days, or nights, when you really don't even know how much you can lift. You just know it's more than you've ever done. Well, as I'm working my way up I notice the nursing student staring at me, "You need a spot" she says. "No, it's alright", I say, and bang out a set with a little extra snap at the top, so the plates make that sweet music.
Then I watch her walk from behind the desk to get a drink of water, and she's wearing a pair of those running shorts with the slits yo the sides, kind of like those old Dolphin shorts for the other old timers. Immediately, I realize I'm going for a max an I'm sure as hell going to need a spot!
On go more plates and change. "Don't worry," I say, as she squats down over me, looking nervous, "I feel strong tonight."
Enjoying the spectacular view the whole way, I lower the bar, pause it on my chest (bouncing is for the club kids) and blast it up. The thing is, I'm feeling so go, and the view is so great, did I mention the view, that I decide to go for a couple more reps. Half-way down on the second rep, feel my pec tear. WHAM! The bar lands on my strenum, kocking the wind out of me, and I'm pinned, totally helpless. The nursing student, who can't even budge the bar, is yelling for help, but there's no one else there!
To add insult to injury, I've got collars on the bar, so I can't just tell her to back off and dump the whole thing off. She shrieks, "I'm going to call 911!" Shit, I'm thinking, I'd rather die than have a firetruck pull up with sirens balsting and have a bunch of firemen stand around laughing at my pathetic ass! As calmly as possible, I gasp, "No...don't...just take off the collars. She understands what I'm saying, as soon as she gets them off, I dump the bar. BANG!!!
I sit up, sweating, and feel my pec, just praying the thing hasn't rolled up like a window blind, but damn, it feels fine! Just a strain. "Are you, okay?", says the little red head. "Uh," I'm just dying for something witty to say, but before I can, the Mexican family who cleans the bottom floor, busts in all wide eyed. When the red hed explains what happens, they just give me a crazy gringo stare.
I cut my workout short that night.
Thirty-seconds later, the
:FRlol.
