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Make Me Laffff.............

H_T_

Da Pope
Platinum
and i'll give you some K. but only one and the first one. and i'm warning you, i only laff at my own jokes.
 
ali was a terrible boxer
 
the-short-one said:
A gift from me. I met these girls over Memorial Day weekend. Enjoy.

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I have to assume that you didn't take the photo else both girls would be looking miserable with envy.
 
blut wump said:
I have to assume that you didn't take the photo else both girls would be looking miserable with envy.

i took the picture. I can't compete with girls who are 1/2 my age. it's too depressing.
 
the-short-one said:
i took the picture. I can't compete with girls who are 1/2 my age. it's too depressing.
oh please. i refuse to compliment you and grind up on your leg in public. you're still the stuff.
 
HumanTarget said:
oh please. i refuse to compliment you and grind up on your leg in public. you're still the stuff.

I'm not fishing for compliments - I'm just pointing out an obvious fact - those chicks are probably 17 - 18 years old. Almost 1/2 my age. You can't compare the two.
 
the-short-one said:
I'm not fishing for compliments - I'm just pointing out an obvious fact - those chicks are probably 17 - 18 years old. Almost 1/2 my age. You can't compare the two.
don't tell me what gets me harder, Missy........
 
the-short-one said:
hawt.


so - what's new? I miss Jesus. I wanted to have sex with him.
If you think for a moment that I'd turn down a witty, intelligent woman for a pair of nubile blonde teenagers you can... damn, where was I going with this?
 
blut wump said:
If you think for a moment that I'd turn down a witty, intelligent woman for a pair of nubile blonde teenagers you can... damn, where was I going with this?


lololol. my point exactly. I'd do em.
 
WRONG.jpg
 
cat-fly.gif
 
Finally, one of my favorite jokes:

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window".

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval and keeps wiping the bar.

The second guy says, "You're full of shit! There's no way that could happen."

"No, its true," the first man says. "I'll prove it to you."

He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets toward the street below. As he nears the 10th floor, the high winds whip him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

He meets the second man, who looks quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke."

"No fluke, I'll do it again," and the first man jumps again. Just as he is hurtling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once again upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.

"Well, why the hell not." the second guy says, "It works. I'll try it." He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors ... and hits the sidewalk with a SPLAT.

Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, "You know Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk".

:rim shot:
 
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