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Luckiest man in the universe. (long)

ThrottleJock

New member
Got a story for you that noboby is going to believe. It’s true though, and my damn head hurts to prove it. I’m sitting at work right now after the rowdiest night of supercharged AS sex ever. And I am the luckiest man in the universe.

You know how every guy has one incredibly hot girl in his life that he may or may not have hooked up with once or twice, just for shits? One of those kind of chicks that is really, frankly, out of your league and you’re not sure exactly how you managed to score? Well I’ve got one of those kind of friends and she’s only in town once or twice a year. She’s going to school out west and she comes back occasionally to visit her parents and always gives (lucky) me a call when she’s in town for a free fuck. No attachments.

I’m sitting on the couch with my girlfriend (sorry guys, I’m a cheater) and she calls me last night. Begging to come over and party with her. She’s been drinking since 3:00 in the afternoon and it’s 8:00pm. I tell my girlfriend that the boys are hitting the town on a Sunday night for service industry night (when all the bartenders and stuff go out). She bites. I shower, put on my pimpest gear and I’m out the door.

She’s over at her best friend’s parent's house. I went to school with this girl and she had some loot back then, but nothing like this. Apparently her family has come into some SERIOUS money and this house is absolutely infuckingcredible. They've got a 17th century tapestry hanging up that's worth $120,000. The rug on the floor when you walk in the door is worth $37,000. They have art all over the walls that is so rare and collectible that portions of it are touring the country to various art shows later this year. We're talking LOOT. A nice place, and I was excited to get to hang out in that sort of environment even if there weren’t two extremely hot, half-lit chicks there.

The girls are gorgeous. My baby is 5’10” 138lbs (we weighed ourselves last night for some reason in the middle of a drunken stupor), dark DARK brown hair, little perky tits and a delicious body. Her ass is like one a guy would draw. Perfect heart-shape. I’ve always said that this is the girl I’m going to marry if I ever settle down. Her friend is even taller, 5’11”, competitive swimmer, blonde. Tighter body and bigger tits than her beautiful brown-haired friend. Both of them have gorgeous faces and I’d be proud to show up anywhere with either one of them on my arm. Just top-notch shit, and I still can’t comprehend how lucky I am. Two super-hot chicks and me.

We hung out and drank a bunch of wine and stuff, and everybody was getting pretty lit. Hopped in the hot tub and the girls got a little naked. Nothing spectacular; just a couple of incredibly beautiful women getting naked in a hot tub. That's what they do, we've all seen that sort of thing before. My girl and I ran off and tried out the steam shower, and at about 4:00am (mind you, I'm working today) we finally make it to bed. Here's where it gets unbelievable. I'm f*cking my sexy little chick kind of half-heartedly. I'm exhausted and drunk from two bottles of 35-year old red wine. Just kind of getting into it and then her friend (the wealthy one) ducks her head in the door and interrupts. I was halfway pissed and halfway happy 'cause I was tired and wouldn't mind going to sleep. The girls flirt with each other a little bit and then the blondie heads back to her room. As she's walking out the door I say "you're welcome to join us". JOKINGLY. I go downstairs and get some water. When I come back into the room, there are two beautiful naked girls in the bed waiting for me, holding a rubber. I absolutely could NOT believe it. I was dreaming, man, like I'm watching some high-budget porn with the best looking girls and the biggest bling-blinging house. I am the luckiest man in the world. I have now seen two girls eat each other, I've had my various fingers, tongue and swoll dick in two girls at the same time. I've plowed a beautiful blonde from the back while I watched her eat an even more beautiful brunette raw. And then we switched and I got to see it from another angle. And another. And another. I got to hide the salami in one girl while eating out another while watching them kiss. I got to blow a giant load over two naked girls backs while they fingered themselves and had their asses pointed at the ceiling. I am the luckiest human being in the universe, and my life is no longer real.

I'm sorry this is off-topic guys, but I'm so fucking excited that I can't stand it. And I can't just bust out and tell my co-workers all about it so I figured I might as well share it with a crew of guys that can appreciate this sort of shit! I LOVE my life.
 
I railed my girl last night while eating a chicken cheese steak and drinking a budlight. I felt pretty good after that also.
 
Themachine01 said:
I railed my girl last night while eating a chicken cheese steak and drinking a budlight. I felt pretty good after that also.

hahaha adda boy sounds even better than the long story!!!;)
 
why you were banging these girls I bet your girl was banging some black dude with a 13 inch cock. I believe in karma bro more power to you, but what goes around comes around...
 
my girlfriend was pissed as hell when she found out that I was eating and drinking a beer while banging her, next time she catches me she says its over.
 
yeah sorry i can;t respect that, try looking at the look on a girls face you care about after they find out something like thisand you'll see why...if its just a gf then whatever but if you care about her thats fucked up
 
I read that exact smae story on one of those erotic story porn sites!
 
Too bad you have a GF. If you didnt that would be cool, but that sucks bro. I hope your girl takes on 2 guys who simultaneously shoot a load all over her face at the same time tonight, and your not one of em. And then posts it on some chat board some where....
 
justwannagetsum said:
Too bad you have a GF. If you didnt that would be cool, but that sucks bro. I hope your girl takes on 2 guys who simultaneously shoot a load all over her face at the same time tonight, and your not one of em. And then posts it on some chat board some where....

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: now that was funny!
 
man, i didn't snort coke, have a threesome, or beat up 20 guys in a barfight last weekend. I am not worthy of this board. i thought shooting cattle steroids would suddenly make me cool, like smoking or wearing ray-bans at night does, but i guess not :(
 
You should have pulled the Patrick Bateman line from "American Psycho" and said "I want to see you eat your friends ass while I stick my cock in yours!!"
 
Themachine01 said:
my girlfriend was pissed as hell when she found out that I was eating and drinking a beer while banging her, next time she catches me she says its over.

HAHAHAHA now that's funny shit
 
yeah, but i think that the fact i drive an 89 civic (and not even the CRX...it is the dork-wagon) negates the coolness of the sunglasses. I try to explain to chicks that the back seat folds down so we can have sex there, but that has not been working. this afternoon i took a paint-pen and wrote v-tex on the window and copied some chinese character off a raman noodles packet. i also took some of those vaccuum cleaner attachments and put them under the bumper so it looks like i have 6 tailpipes. I am going to the bowling alley now and will doubtless be swarmed by coke sniffing hotties and have a foursome while waiting in the fat-burger drive-through. after my foursome i want a line added on everyones profile bar which says "# of women slept with at one time" since my number will say 3, it will be higher than themachines, so i will be kooler. if he decides to up the anti and sleep with the Rockafeller quadrupletts next sunday, I'll match him with a septupsum. i will have to go down to the midget bar though, since i can barely fit 4 normal sized chicks in the back of the civic, and that is only if i stack them in 69 configuration.
 
Hugh Gellatts said:
yeah, but i think that the fact i drive an 89 civic (and not even the CRX...it is the dork-wagon) negates the coolness of the sunglasses. I try to explain to chicks that the back seat folds down so we can have sex there, but that has not been working. this afternoon i took a paint-pen and wrote v-tex on the window and copied some chinese character off a raman noodles packet. i also took some of those vaccuum cleaner attachments and put them under the bumper so it looks like i have 6 tailpipes. I am going to the bowling alley now and will doubtless be swarmed by coke sniffing hotties and have a foursome while waiting in the fat-burger drive-through. after my foursome i want a line added on everyones profile bar which says "# of women slept with at one time" since my number will say 3, it will be higher than themachines, so i will be kooler. if he decides to up the anti and sleep with the Rockafeller quadrupletts next sunday, I'll match him with a septupsum. i will have to go down to the midget bar though, since i can barely fit 4 normal sized chicks in the back of the civic, and that is only if i stack them in 69 configuration.

ROFLMAO!!!! :lmao: :FRlol: :lmao: :FRlol::lmao: :FRlol: :lmao: :FRlol:
 
okay, what's the scoop here: guys get flamed for asking newbie questions on a discussion board, and then this stuff shows up??
 
Knew I'd take heat

Especially for the "having a girlfriend" part. Oh well...

Truth is, my girlfriend and I are on the outs and I should have dropped her before I put myself into this situation. Oh well, fuck it. I'm 25 and I'm obligated to make these sort of bad decisions. I'll happily do it again.

As for her running off and getting plowed by three other black guys with 13 inchers? Never happen. She's afraid of the cock.:alien:
 
Gimme a hell yeah!

Good job Bro! I say fuck'em all & let the good guys sort 'em out! Pussy is like a lays potatoe chip, can't fuck just one! Your girl would've done it too if she had the chance, what she doesn't know wont hurt her. Just like what you don't know about her wont hurt you, just better hope she made her two guys wear a rubber and never eat it after you've been out doing your thing. She may have some residue leftover! LMAO!!
 
Hugh Gellatts said:
yeah, but i think that the fact i drive an 89 civic (and not even the CRX...it is the dork-wagon) negates the coolness of the sunglasses. I try to explain to chicks that the back seat folds down so we can have sex there, but that has not been working. this afternoon i took a paint-pen and wrote v-tex on the window and copied some chinese character off a raman noodles packet. i also took some of those vaccuum cleaner attachments and put them under the bumper so it looks like i have 6 tailpipes. I am going to the bowling alley now and will doubtless be swarmed by coke sniffing hotties and have a foursome while waiting in the fat-burger drive-through. after my foursome i want a line added on everyones profile bar which says "# of women slept with at one time" since my number will say 3, it will be higher than themachines, so i will be kooler. if he decides to up the anti and sleep with the Rockafeller quadrupletts next sunday, I'll match him with a septupsum. i will have to go down to the midget bar though, since i can barely fit 4 normal sized chicks in the back of the civic, and that is only if i stack them in 69 configuration.
oh FUCK thats some funny shit!!!!:FRlol: :FRlol: ;)
 
Hugh Gellatts , What the hell are you talking about. I dont give a shit about your honda civic with vaccuum cleaner extensions as exaust pipes, I never said anything about sleeping with 3 woman at the same time, i never said anything about sleeping with anyone but my girlfriend. Next time you put my name in your post make sure you get the info right. It was a cheese steak bro, a cheesesteak.
 
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Themachine01 said:
Hugh Gellatts , What the hell are you talking about. I dont give a shit about your honda civic with vaccuum cleaner extensions as exaust pipes, I never said anything about sleeping with 3 woman at the same time, i never said anything about sleeping with anyone but my girlfriend. Next time you put my name in your post make sure you get the info right. It was a cheese steak bro, a cheesesteak.

bro...you're one funny motherfucker...as far as i'm concerned,you took over this thread...YOU ARE THE MAN...you ate some cheesesteak and some pussy at the same time...who can argue with you on that one...
 
Congratulations, remember, you did not cheat bro, those 2 girls cancelled each other out. peace and good job
 
ThrottleJock said:
They've got a 17th century tapestry hanging up that's worth $120,000. The rug on the floor when you walk in the door is worth $37,000. They have art all over the walls that is so rare and collectible that portions of it are touring the country to various art shows later this year.


:lmao:

Did they tell you all that before or after they got naked?


I want pictures!!!!!!!!!
Of the interior that is.
 
Excellent brother.

Don't mind all the hater's on here. They're all probably virgin's. Or they probably think fucking in the missionary position is being wild. They are probably boring in bed.

But one thing is for sure... anyone that is doubting or hating... I guarantte they haven't had the experience you speak of.

I for one do, and can appreciate your excitement and experience.

"You shouldn't have cheated on your girl." :rolleyes: He isn't married guys. You refuse a 3some with 2 hot chic's because a 'girlfriend' then you must be secretly gay or something. Lame.

Glad you enjoyed yourself my friend!
--
 
"Hugh Gellatts , What the hell are you talking about. I dont give a shit about your honda civic with vaccuum cleaner extensions as exaust pipes, I never said anything about sleeping with 3 woman at the same time, i never said anything about sleeping with anyone but my girlfriend. Next time you put my name in your post make sure you get the info right. It was a cheese steak bro, a cheesesteak."

my bad...mixed up your name with ThrottleJocks. To settle this matter we will meet at Grand Chalupa and Cheesteak drivethrough at 1am....you bring the el camino and your woman, i bring my civic and the midgets. Whoever can eat through their females and three greasy toquito value meals first gets the bragging rights.
 
"They've got a 17th century tapestry hanging up that's worth $120,000. The rug on the floor when you walk in the door is worth $37,000. They have art all over the walls that is so rare and collectible that portions of it are touring the country to various art shows later this year."


Curator at New York Metropolitan Museum of Art:

'Bridge over Japanese Lillies' was painted during the most impressionistic period of Van Gogh's life. Note that the paint strokes flow both horizontically and vertically at times, with elements of total random inspiration, such as this energetic white splatter across the foreground.
 
Well..i am with the supposed "haters". That wasn't right man. Who gives a shit how good it was for you...that only prooves that you are only thinking about yourself. Way to go buddy...

Sometimes i think some guys on this board found their dicks in a garbage can.
 
"my bad...mixed up your name with ThrottleJocks. To settle this matter we will meet at Grand Chalupa and Cheesteak drivethrough at 1am....you bring the el camino and your woman, i bring my civic and the midgets. Whoever can eat through their females and three greasy toquito value meals first gets the bragging rights."


good shit bro, im game
 
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My best friend got a threesome for his 18th birthday party from his girl and her friend. He's had 2 others since from different girls.
 
If the story is true man I throw you mad props. Oh and who honestly cares about the "girlfriend" if you had the chance you would be doing that same shit. So MAD PROPS.

Drizz
 
Nice little story ya got there....if you're gonna be a manwhore at least dump your girlfriend before you do it....you must be proud
 
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