Last night at the bar... my first kiss

[-SD-]

it sucks having to move on. i just want to find a girl to do stuff with, but something definately tells me this girl is the wrong one.

so are there women that will be kind, and stop making out and having sex with random dudes after she meets a guy she is interested in and gives him her number?

I dont want to go on a date with a woman knowing that later she is going to go to a party and get fucked, when all she gave me was a goodnight kiss on the doorstep

thats cheating as far as im concerned. and if u dont want to call it that, its still disrespectful.

Yes there are women who hold the same value of certain acts as you do, but you have to remember that at their age its tough to restrain when lots of guys throw themselves at her. You are going to have to learn to compartmentalize things and cut girls off when necessary without looking back. Make sure that sort of thing doesnt interfer with your confidence or attitude with other new women. If you act like the kind of guy that offers excitement and fun and unpredictability then she will more than likely not screw around. But always look for the signs no matter how long youve been involved with someone because you never know when you are going to have to flip the switch and drop her without looking back. I wish this whole thing could be picnics and flowers and massages and no one gets burned but thats not how it will be sometimes.

 

[healother]

Brother that girl is obviously just a dumb slut. Move on. Plus you won't have the added obvious immense risk of a nasty disease from a girl who just had unprotected sex with a total stranger and has probably done it many times in the past. It's not like girls just do that out of the blue. Although I'm willing to bet if you called her a dumb slut and challenged her she would bang you. Sounds like the type of girl to sleep with any dominant male with some game.

Now that your confidence is going up you have to develop confidence enough to know without a shadow of a doubt that next time you go out, another girl will be interested. And another, and so on. And make sure you have enough confidence to know what you will accept as behaviour and what you won't without sacrificing your own feelings. Remember you're doing this journey for yourself and nobody else.

that is some good advice. this woman is a slut, and i would at least ask for her to get a std test before sticking my unit in her. i also dont think its worth putting much effort into her, unless she can lead me to her hot friends, or put out for me.

having the knowledge that you can pickup a woman anytime anywhere is power. when you have that power and confidence a single woman cannot take it away from you. you have options, and backup plans, if one woman fails you, you get another. i dont know how far off that date is, where i will be that confident, but when it happens, pussy is going to fall like rain in a tropical forest.

i want to become so good at attracting women, that i feel as confident at my game as she feels about hers. I want to be able to get laid just as often as she can. because if she knows im able to do that, then her advantage is gone, because we both have an equal amount of power.

all this hard work Stevie and you're still the biggest social retard I've ever heard of.. and I've been working with IT dorks for the last 8 years so that's quite an achievement.



a club skank gave you a sniff of it and you think you can turn her into mother theresa? on the surface it sounds like you're pathetically trying to wring something out of nothing but I suspect underneath it you're developing a savior complex, thinking you can fix these fallen women and turn them into good little wifey material. Next thing you'll be going to strip clubs to try to find 'the one'. Fucks sake, grow a pair.

here's what you need to do. Stop trying to be someone you're clearly not cut out to be. Stop going to clubs. stop doing this stuff you know deep down is wrong, because you're not going to find the kind of person you want there. What nice christian girl would want a guy who goes out, gets drunk and grinds on random women on the dancefloor, and you're only a couple of bad decisions away from doing lines and X.

join a e-dating site for christians and find yourself another virgin to grow old with.

i dont think its a savior complex, i think i just get attached to things and need to learn to not do that.

but you telling me i should be only going for a wife isnt fair. if other men and women can find boyfriends and girlfriends, then i should be able to too. i agree the club is a bad place to pickup women, its only for practicing approaches and a little excitement.

a christian girl will want me, because i know christian girls who do the same things that i do, and we are all in the same boat here.

I wouldnt want to date a girl and have there be no sex involved at all. and why would i want to grow old with the first woman i meet? Why would i even make that my goal? Why not just try to have a girlfriend that i genuinely like? i dont need to marry her, a several month or several year relationship would be fine.

Yes there are women who hold the same value of certain acts as you do, but you have to remember that at their age its tough to restrain when lots of guys throw themselves at her. You are going to have to learn to compartmentalize things and cut girls off when necessary without looking back. Make sure that sort of thing doesnt interfer with your confidence or attitude with other new women. If you act like the kind of guy that offers excitement and fun and unpredictability then she will more than likely not screw around. But always look for the signs no matter how long youve been involved with someone because you never know when you are going to have to flip the switch and drop her without looking back. I wish this whole thing could be picnics and flowers and massages and no one gets burned but thats not how it will be sometimes.

i think you got it down pretty well. women are too desirable at my age. so in order to compensate i need to make myself more desirable and have just as many options as they do.

I agree that i need to compartmentalize and detach myself better. i havent learned the best procedure for doing that yet. i feel like you need to remain detached while talking to them if you want to attract them.

but yeah, there are no picnics. there is no security. if you meet someone who is serious about marriage, that can help, but there are no guarantees!

 

[nimbus]

it sucks having to move on. i just want to find a girl to do stuff with, but something definately tells me this girl is the wrong one.

so are there women that will be kind, and stop making out and having sex with random dudes after she meets a guy she is interested in and gives him her number?

yea, but she wont be at the club jackin you off on the dancefloor

 

[healother]

yea, but she wont be at the club jackin you off on the dancefloor

yeah, once i feel confident about my ability to score women in the club, im going to try to score women elseware. clubs and bars are very social environments with less barriers (the alcohol helps) so they are a good place for beginners. But the grocery store, or the mall, those take some nerve and are more advanced.

some may mention church activities, but the kind of woman you meet at an after church potluck may likely be the type that wouldnt put out at all, maybe a kiss once u 2 are engaged.

 

[nimbus]

some may mention church activities, but the kind of woman you meet at an after church potluck may likely be the type that wouldnt put out at all, maybe a kiss once u 2 are engaged.

nah i bet she'd at least blow you once you put a ring on her finger

 

[JayC9]

emotional detachment, learn it
percentages, play them
virginity, lose it

 

[GoldenDelicious]

excellent this is a good development

keep in touch with her. her sexual choices are none of your business. youre going to stay in touch and have a female friend in your life that you arent going to have sex with. you get to chat, learn a bit about how women think, and have a girl hanging off you everytime you go out so that other girls see that you have girls and are more attracted to you as a result.

everyone flaming steve tell me when you last went out alone. going out without any friends puts you under a lot more social pressure, and unless you do it regularly, STFU

(i went out for about a month straight alone when i first got down here. i now have oodles of people in my phone wanting my company everyday, so i get to talk )

 

[calveless wonder]

excellent this is a good development


everyone flaming steve tell me when you last went out alone. going out without any friends puts you under a lot more social pressure, and unless you do it regularly, STFU

true
but pressure depends.
personally the times i went out alone i've had a blast (usually because someone flaked or was too drunk to find the place). Always ended up meeting really cool people, alot of girls, and end up having a blast.
I always manage to make friends with some dudes and have them introduce me to their girls (which half the time are only friends). I act cool and friendly, buy you a drink and you present me your associate poon...nice tradeoff

i think friends can actually be social hinderances(especially when you're more social than your friends)..of course this was much easier at places where i already knew the bartenders and other people who worked there.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

true
but pressure depends.
personally the times i went out alone i've had a blast (usually because someone flaked or was too drunk to find the place). Always ended up meeting really cool people, alot of girls, and end up having a blast.
I always manage to make friends with some dudes and have them introduce me to their girls (which half the time are only friends). I act cool and friendly, buy you a drink and you present me your associate poon...nice tradeoff

i think friends can actually be social hinderances(especially when you're more social than your friends)..of course this was much easier at places where i already knew the bartenders and other people who worked there.

i completely agree they can make life difficult, but youre confusing social pressure with ability to socialise and pickup overall

pros of going out with friends:
-slight social proof
-comfort bubble
-reality bubble
-multiple player scenarios ie silk glove iron fist
-obstacle management
-socal group overlaps
-no time constraints in order to socialise

cons of going out with friends:
-you need to associate/align IMMEDIATELY or risk negative proof
-no comfort bubble, far higher emotional stress
-the only reality you have to immerse others in is your own
-youre solo, and must negotiate telegraphing too much interest
-obstacles more problematic
-isolation more problematic
-all social interactions are your own

depending on your personality type, style, target girl, venue, evergy level bla bla bla, one or the other of the above may be favorable

i have a friend who never approaches. NEVER. he relies on proof, is never alone, piggybacking social circles etc to access the girls he wants. on the flip side, i have a buddy who is the biggest approach machine alive and goes out alone constantly.

personally, i think its easier just being an alcoholic

1 drink and golden is humming kumbaya watching everyone approach, giving tips
2 drinks and golden is humming kumbaya watching everyone approach giving tips
3 drinks and golden is humming kumbaya watching everyone approach giving tips
4 drinks and golden is humming kumbaya watching everyone approach giving tips
5 drinks and golden is bopping to kumbaya in his head, ignoring everyone approaching
6 drinks and golden asks the girl next to him the words to fucking kumbaya, and while she thinks about it, smooches her

everyone looks at golden like he grew 6 horns.

"what? what are you mofos looking at?"