Jan 27, the worst day of my life.........

[wrj]

Re: Simpathy and impoathy are two very different things....

Hey man, you'll be alright my prayer are with you and my i father(uncle)understand what you are going through.....my uncle that raised me killed himself a year ago he cut his own throat and managed to stab himself in the chest a couple of times, all that was in a bath tab he was like my dad because my parents got divorced when i was 6 so he raised me killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, my cousin that i grew up with found his dad in a bath of blood with a bottle of vodka on the floor the best part was when the ambulance got there they did not have a stretcher and the cops were being dicks he lived on the fifth floor of an appartment with no elevator so my cousin(like my brother grew up together) and his mom and one of the medics wraped him up in sheets and drag him down the stairs without a stretcher, well that's russia for you.......hang in there man there is plenty of people that care about you

PS the reason he killed himself was he was sczhitsophrenic(sorry for the spelling) with severe depression in russia(siberia) they don't have meds specially back in those days so he had no choice and alcohol made it a lot worse the worse part that was not the first time he had a scar o his neck i never really asked where it came from but he tried killing himself 10 years before that but his
wife found him and they saved him...they neve told me he was crazy but he raised me i found out everything from my mom when she called me and told me he was dead, i had a mental break down and still saffering from panic attacs and depression i have not been back to russia for 8 years never been back my cousin is 20 years old, our birthdays are on the same day may 3rd two years apart......i can only imagine what he is going through right i talk to him he was never the same, i have been back to russia i'm from siberia for 8 years because if i go back as a russian citizen i go straight to the army from the airport everyone goes to the army in russia most don't make it back specially with chechnia war going on....

be strong man...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss my friend. What I'm starting to understand is that the pain never truly goes away, it just becomes less cumbersome as the months go by. It still feels like a dream to me...And when I dream about him (which happens frequently) it feels so real. Odd but true.

Mystical:
You're right on the money. As for faith, I don't believe in God as written in the Holy Bible or the Cohran (sp?) or whatever however I believe that God is the power of existance and that's something none of us will ever be able to define. It's our ignorance, insecurities and our lack of self respect as man that leads us to make up ficticious events such as the birth of Jesus and so on. I believe in the teaching of the bible but not the legitmacy of it. The bible and religions make mankind aware of it's nature thus enlightening ourselves how to improve upon it. I really wanna believe my brother is out there in Heaven but I believe his spirit resides in the people that loved him and knew him well.

I hope no one takes offence to my remarks as they're just my opinion and not meant to knock anyone or dissuade them from praying for my brother's soul as I could in fact be very wrong.

Everyones efforts are appreciated.

 

[Spunky]

condolences my friend! if u need anyone to talk to, [email protected]

 

[AlPhASiLvErBaCk]

dude, i'm so sorry for your loss
the thing that scared the shit out of me is, i'm 24, completing my last year to get my degree in architecture.
hits a little too close to home
i'll pray for you bro, your brother and your family.
try and take it easy dude.
peace

 

[MeatheadInTheMakin]

my sincerest condolences.....ur brother sounded like a person that we needed more of in the world....may he rest in peace.....i have a brother and can only imagine....have faith tho kidd u'll make it through....let time heals the wounds....

u'll be in my prayers....god bless!

 

[dmxdmx112v]

wrj god bless you, your family, and your brother. He's in heaven now.

 

[02gixxersix]

Damn bro I lost my best friend last year in a car accident so I know how you're feeling. You'll never stop caring bro and just realize that he's in a better place and you'll get to see him again someday. Until then you have someone to watch out for you and you can be with him all the time. Thats the only way I got through it. Be strong bro I know it hurts.

 

[McBane]

Damn bro, I am really sorry for your loss. This fall 2 kids I was good friends with when I was younger, one of them was my best friend in grade school, died, both only 21. The kid I was closer with was one of the nicest, warmest people I've ever known. It still hurts like hell and it happened a month ago. Nothing will ever replace your bro and the pain will never go away, but it will get better with time. For me the funeral and wake were the hardest....especially seeing pictures of it...it just made it too real.

Just a little piece I might add, the months following this it is likely this sadness and depression you are experiencing right now will come back....sometimes unexpectantly and you may not even realize it is because of his death (i.e. 2 months from now you wake up and feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and die). Just recognize and know that it is due to his death. Make SURE you deal with your feelings bro or it will be even more hellish.

What really helped me get through it was getting together with kids who were his friends and sharing memories, and favorite stories. Might be too soon for you now, but it really helped. Celebrate your bro's life and the time you had with him. Be thankful you knew him and that you had those years with him. If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me bro. I don't really know you but that might even be better for you because I'm someone you can just bounce shit off of without being embarrassed talking to them the next day, you know?

Again I'm deeply sorry for your loss and I will pray for your friend. He sounds like a really good person, especially if he made such a big impact upon you as it seems. Just remember this isn't goodbye, you'll see him later...I'm sure he'll be waiting for you on the other side.

 

[dlf13]

I am sorry for you bro, I dont wish that on my worst enemy, I lost my grandfather just in a thing like that was fine and died instantly, was hardest thing for me.

D

 

[SwitchedOn]

There's nothing I can say to express how much I feel for your loss. I know what it's like to go through horrible times and you will get through this. Just remember he's watching out for you, and you will see him again. Take care of yourself and your mother. God bless you, your family, and your bro.

Switched On

 

[mike1107]

no word to say bro ... my condolences to you and your family ;.. it sucks to hear that
be strong