When I firsted decided to go hardcore at the bb thing I was in the same shape. I had several years of gymnastics, coed cheerleading and soccer. My legs looked great while by upper body was thin and lacked any shape. My husband helped to train me. Hit it hard. Pyramid up with your lifts. Go as heavy as you can, so heavy that you go into muslce failure at the fourth or fifth rep. Try hitting the lagging parts twice a week with three days in between. Ex. I did arms one day, Back next day, chest, legs, then back to arms. I actually was switching my workouts up every 8 weeks or so. For a couple of months I was working out chest/bis and back/tris twice a week. You need constant stimulation. I am proud to say that after three years of hard training I can curl 30lbs, 10dips with 45lbs around my waist, can do 80 pull-ups and hammer bench 220lbs.
I do not look like a monster. I get compliments almost everytime I go into the gym or anywhere with sleevless shirts. People constantly ask me when am I going to compete in fitness america and encourage me to try it. Trust me when I say results come with HARD and HEAVY Training.
It is not going to be easy and the results will not come overnight. But with persistance and dedication you will soon get the results you want. Push yourself till your nasueated (sp?). lol
Rasta