If you've lost a loved one in a tragic manner, do you continue to have dreams about them after they're gone?

[Smurfy]

Every once in a while, I have disturbing and upsetting (paralyzing) dreams about a loved one of mine who died 5 yrs ago. He was 42 and died tragically. The dreams dont come as often as they used to, but occasionally I'll have a dream where he's actually NOT dead as we thought and when I realize he is there alive and well, I'm paralyzed by it. Like the dream I had last night he was on the couch in my parent's family room watching TV with my Dad and I walked in...... it took me a minute to realize it was really him. then all I could do it stand there, i dropped everything i had in my hands and i couldlnt move or speak. my mouth was was just gaping. then i started hyperventilating and crying. i felt like my insides were draining out (not my organs). it was very traumatic for me and it woke me up. i was sobbing in my sleep.

weird.

 

[chris302001]

Re: If you've lost a loved one in a tragic manner, do you continue to have dreams abo

I've had dreams like that. Almost identical in how you suddenly think they're not dead, they never died, it was all a bad dream (ironic....). And you are overwhelmed with emotion. And then in my dream, somehow I realize it is just a dream..... And that's when it hits me. It's like losing them all over again....

I dont even want to wake up after dreams like that cuz Im screwed for the next couple days.....

 

[Smurfy]

Re: If you've lost a loved one in a tragic manner, do you continue to have dreams abo

I've had dreams like that. Almost identical in how you suddenly think they're not dead, they never died, it was all a bad dream (ironic....). And you are overwhelmed with emotion. And then in my dream, somehow I realize it is just a dream..... And that's when it hits me. It's like losing them all over again....

I dont even want to wake up after dreams like that cuz Im screwed for the next couple days.....

yeah i realize its all a weird dream when I'm awoken by my own sobbing. which makes it all the more traumatic. sucks. I'll be affected by this for a while too.

 

[velvett]

No, I keep forgetting he's gone.

 

[Johnny Cakes]

my best friend and workout partner for 8 years was killed last April. I still have my daily chats with him and know he is helping me out now.

 

[Smurfy]

my best friend and workout partner for 8 years was killed last April. I still have my daily chats with him and know he is helping me out now.

do you ever have dreams that he isnt really dead?

 

[Johnny Cakes]

do you ever have dreams that he isnt really dead?

Interestingly, I don't dream it - I sort of think I'm going to meet him at our usual time (12:00) on some days, then I get there and then I remember. The Wayne Dyer books have been very helpful to me, I think I have like 10 of them now - I also have lost at least 5 other close friends now in my life.

 

[bigbox]

It happens!! My HS girlfriend died when I was 17. I still have horrible dreams over it. I'm 31 now!! My last one was we were at a pizza place eating pizza like nothing had happened. I woke up and realized it was just a dream and for a while was seriously devistated like I was back then. That was only last month!!! Usually it's like nothing happened in the first place in the dreams though. I'm all happy, hanging out just like back then. It's the waking up part that's so bad to me, and it does still seem so real!!

 

[rnch]

yes. still.

 

[Smurfy]

Interestingly, I don't dream it - I sort of think I'm going to meet him at our usual time (12:00) on some days, then I get there and then I remember. The Wayne Dyer books have been very helpful to me, I think I have like 10 of them now - I also have lost at least 5 other close friends now in my life.

you know my feelings about Dyer. I'm glad his writings have helped you too.
I dont often forget my Uncle is gone, but i agonize over upcoming family gatherings and holidays thinking how strange it will be without him there. Or I think about how weird it is not to have him calling me up on the phone to talk about South Park or Seinfeld episodes, and him greeting me with "BUDDY!"