If you've lost a loved one in a tragic manner, do you continue to have dreams about them after they're gone?

[curvymommy]

I don't. It seems that vivid dreams can definitely be a blessing and a curse.

I lost someone 14 years ago this month in an absolutely horrific way. I always have sick feeling in July but no dreams.

hugs.

 

[Johnny Cakes]

you know my feelings about Dyer. I'm glad his writings have helped you too.
I dont often forget my Uncle is gone, but i agonize over upcoming family gatherings and holidays thinking how strange it will be without him there. Or I think about how weird it is not to have him calling me up on the phone to talk about South Park or Seinfeld episodes, and him greeting me with "BUDDY!"

Those are hard things, however I truly believe you can say all that to him and he can hear you. So when you get to this gathering, say your own special hello to him and he will know you are there...

 

[pogo]

It happens!! My HS girlfriend died when I was 17. I still have horrible dreams over it. I'm 31 now!! My last one was we were at a pizza place eating pizza like nothing had happened. I woke up and realized it was just a dream and for a while was seriously devistated like I was back then. That was only last month!!! Usually it's like nothing happened in the first place in the dreams though. I'm all happy, hanging out just like back then. It's the waking up part that's so bad to me, and it does still seem so real!!

can i ask you how your current gf handles your loss? - i ask because i lost my gf on may 9th 2005 (she had a brain aneurysm and died suddenly ..) so every may 9th i take the day off - respect for her... my now fiancee got very upset that i do that....
?

 

[jerseyrugger76]

To answer your question, yes, all of the people who have entered my life and subsequently died, be it under tragic circumstances or not, appear in my dreams. It doesn't happen every night, but it happens.

 

[bigbox]

My current gf has been great about everything. She really worked with me through a lot of stuff. I really couldn't be any luckier than now!! Although there's a lot I had to give in to my current gf, like I don't tell any of our friends about it or anything, but she does know I'm still a bit messed up. My last gf before this one cheated with my best friend, so it was really hard to gain my trust. I'm planning to get married this Christmas. We both trust each other, and things just work!! I'm sorry for your loss, it's probably one of the worst things anyone can go through. You have to let a lot go though, try to live your life. Don't dwell on it, it'll drive you crazy!

 

[Smurfy]

can i ask you how your current gf handles your loss? - i ask because i lost my gf on may 9th 2005 (she had a brain aneurysm and died suddenly ..) so every may 9th i take the day off - respect for her... my now fiancee got very upset that i do that....
?

3 yrs is not a long time for something as traumatic as what you went through. IMO it would be selfish for your current SO to make you feel guilty in anyway about how you process through your feelings. perhaps she feels threatened by your feelings for the previous gf, even though she has passed (which logically there is no threat for obvious reasons).

 

[pogo]

3 yrs is not a long time for something as traumatic as what you went through. IMO it would be selfish for your current SO to make you feel guilty in anyway about how you process through your feelings. perhaps she feels threatened by your feelings for the previous gf, even though she has passed (which logically there is no threat for obvious reasons).

thank you: she did mention she felt like I loved susanne (the one who passed) more . . . .
I tried to explain that it was more out of respect than anything. Shoot: she even called Susanne's mom a whore.... Because i still talk to Susanne's mom..
bad huh.

 

[Smurfy]

thank you: she did mention she felt like I loved susanne (the one who passed) more . . . .
I tried to explain that it was more out of respect than anything. Shoot: she even called Susanne's mom a whore.... Because i still talk to Susanne's mom..
bad huh.

oh. wow. um. not sure what to say but based on what you've said, it certainly sounds like a huge conflict that needs resolution before you take the plunge IMO.

 

[bigbox]

thank you: she did mention she felt like I loved susanne (the one who passed) more . . . .
I tried to explain that it was more out of respect than anything. Shoot: she even called Susanne's mom a whore.... Because i still talk to Susanne's mom..
bad huh.

Oh yeah, she probably feels like shes fighting for your affection. That really is messed up. As long as you love susanne you can't possibly like the one you're with now. That's how she views it. Some girls are better about it than others!!

 

[AAP]

it's amazing your body can get a stronger emotional response when it is "asleep" than you do at times when awake.