i wish i got dumped

[georgie24]

reading lestat's post makes me so freaggin jeolous. i met this girl when i was 23 years old. at that time in my life i was at my all time best. i had a new bmw, a new sport bike and money out the ying-yang. i was living the life married men wished they had. to make a long story short a few years later with the same girl now i feel like an old mother fucker, i stayed with the girl because i felt sorry for her.she was dignosed with severe bi polar disorder and you can only imagine what a typical day looks like for me. its a horror story to say the least. besides that her kid has the desease as well. her child is very viscous and coniving just like her.

your lucky your free!

 

[The Red Dragon]

Ouch, sorry to hear that man. You know...you can always provoke a breakup that way you don't have to feel guilty about initiating it.

 

[Lestat]

reading lestat's post makes me so freaggin jeolous. i met this girl when i was 23 years old. at that time in my life i was at my all time best. i had a new bmw, a new sport bike and money out the ying-yang. i was living the life married men wished they had. to make a long story short a few years later with the same girl now i feel like an old mother fucker, i stayed with the girl because i felt sorry for her.she was dignosed with severe bi polar disorder and you can only imagine what a typical day looks like for me. its a horror story to say the least. besides that her kid has the desease as well. her child is very viscous and coniving just like her.

your lucky your free!

I'm sorry to hear that man. It sounds like you stayed with her for the wrong reasons though. Did you actually love this girl?

Feeling older isn't neccsarily a bad thing. Is there some way to alter your lifestyle (with her still in it) to give you more fullfillment? That younger feeling?

Thanks for reading my post by the way, I have to say using EF as an outlet for these intense emotions and reading everyone's feedback has really helped me a lot so far.

 

[georgie24]

i guess i was young and stupid then. i felt "feelings" for her. but now im 27 and i want a life. i have no life with her...

 

[Lestat]

i guess i was young and stupid then. i felt "feelings" for her. but now im 27 and i want a life. i have no life with her...

that really sucks man. I'm 27 now too by the way.

I look for someone in a partner that can grow with me, that enjoys some of the things I like, and that I enjoy some of the things she likes... and that has just enough of that adventurous spirit to try some new things (but not someone who is always constantly looking for more more more.. I think that is where I may have run into trouble with the current ex)

Is there anyway for you to talk through things with her, let her know how you are feeling, and rejuvinate the relationship? turn over a new leave.. start a new chapter.. all that cliche stuff

 

[georgie24]

i try and start a new life everyday.

 

[Werd]

using EF as an outlet for these intense emotions and reading everyone's feedback has really helped me a lot so far.

WERD


Georgie - why do you have to get dumped to end a relationship? Why can't you end it?

(By the way, I know the answer to the question, but I want to know what YOU think.... Sometimes things become instantly clear to me when I have to answer such questions... another reason that I have found posting stuff on EF to be helpful.)

 

[georgie24]

i guess i feel bad that she will be alone

 

[Werd]

i guess i feel bad that she will be alone

So you are willing to essentially throw more of your life away because you feel bad for her?

Think about that statement....

Or are you more afraid that YOU will be alone?

 

[georgie24]

i dont really know. i avaoid her like the plauge and i feel fine.

 

[Werd]

i dont really know. i avaoid her like the plauge and i feel fine.

But then why can't you just end the relationship altogether? Surely you don't expect that a long term relationship will "just go away"? Do you?

I know it will be hard, especially because you don't know how she will react. But if for no other reason than for yourself, you need to end things civilly so you can both move on. You were not married. You have no children. You have no serious financial ties that would cause you two to have further contact.

Let it go and be done with it. Move on and evolve. You are not responsible for her life anymore than she is responsible for yours.

 

[georgie24]

IS THAT YOU in your avatar???

 

[Werd]

Yes.

There was a time when there were many pics of me on the web... but now I am satisfied to remain anonymous to some degree.

 

[Robert Jan]

Werd you are like a freaking Pokémon, yelling out your own name all the time

 

[Werd]

Werd you are like a freaking Pokémon, yelling out your own name all the time

You hit me right on the head! LOL

 

[Optimus B]

i guess i feel bad that she will be alone

bro, you need to live your life. so she's bipolar; you can't torture yourself and feel the way you're feeling, you don't deserve that, no one does. she's a big girl (she's 27 right?) and she can take care of herself and shouldn't be a burden to you. if your heart isn't into the relationship (which it appears it isn't) then you need to do both yourself (especially yourself) and her a favor and GET THE FUCK OUT NOW! prolonging the pain will just make you more bitter and make you hate life more. i know i did.

i know what that's like as i was in a very destructive relationship (she was a drug addict) for 4 yrs and didn't want to end it for fear of "hurting her feelings". once i ended it, it felt like a humongous burden was lifted from me and life got good again. my confidence and overall sense of well-being came back and no longer did i dread everyday with her.

i'm often reminded of a quote that i heard here (yes, EF), "this ain't no practice life, it's the real deal" and thus you need to live it to the fullest.

in closing, don't torture yourself, end the relationship, move on, be happy!

good luck bro

 

[awittyusername]

reading lestat's post makes me so freaggin jeolous. i met this girl when i was 23 years old. at that time in my life i was at my all time best. i had a new bmw, a new sport bike and money out the ying-yang. i was living the life married men wished they had. to make a long story short a few years later with the same girl now i feel like an old mother fucker, i stayed with the girl because i felt sorry for her.she was dignosed with severe bi polar disorder and you can only imagine what a typical day looks like for me. its a horror story to say the least. besides that her kid has the desease as well. her child is very viscous and coniving just like her.

your lucky your free!

Dam bro you might be my twin. I when I was 23 I started making some $ and had a vette, a stealth, a CBR, I built my own house etc. Life was great untill i started going out w a chick that that constantly talked down to me. (not the one we have been PMing about) I tryed to break up with her a number of times. But, Everytime I tryed she would covince me that I was such a bad person to dump her and her kid. The good news is I got ripped off by a company I was dealing with. I woke up one day about a mil in debt w no way to pay it off. So I sold my house, cars, bike, even my fucking gas grill. I even delivered f-n pizzas. Oh, the good news. Well guess what right after I went broke my helpless girlfriend found someone else. What a surprise.

My advice isnt to go broke. But, to be honest I don't know how to break up w/ a girl either. Everytime I ever tryed I was conviced I was bad and felt terribly guilty. (I know I'm a pussy) After trying to break up w/the last few women. I learned I just have to wait until they find someone else. Then, you will get your wish of being dumped. (in a heartbeat without any guilt)

 

[awittyusername]

Oh, I forgot. 27 is not old. My best yrs. was 26 -30. I was still young enough to do everything. But, I was so much smarter. You will have 21 - 24 girls thowing themselves at you. Dude, You are ripped, got $, nice car, bike, etc. You are better than 99% of the rest of the guys. Girls say that shit doesnt impress them. But, I can PM you w/ the craziest stories. And, once you hit your 30's the divorced MILF's will start sniffing around.

"i wish i got dumped" LOL I used to say that all the time.

 

[javaguru]

Honestly, you can't live your life for other people. It ends up being nothong but misery, there is nothing wrong with pursuing your own happiness. Don't let anyone guilt you into remaining miserable.

 

[velvett]

i feel like an old mother fucker, i stayed with the girl because i felt sorry for her.she was dignosed with severe bi polar disorder

Oh you're so full of shit you don't even see why you're still together.

You are together because it's comfortable - you may not like it and it may not be where you expected to see yourself - but it's easy to stay where you are because it's less comforting stepping out into something that is unknown to you.

If anyone should be felt sory for it's you.

 

[georgie24]

guilt
blackmail
drama
treats
violence

velvet you think thats comfortable?

 

[velvett]

guilt
blackmail
drama
treats
violence

velvet you think thats comfortable?

Yes.

It's textbook.

Why do you think women that are battered stay with their abusive boyfriends or husbands? Why do you think that even after they are arrested they can't press charges? They are afraidof what they don't know - what will they do, where will they live, who will tell them what to do?

Familiar ground is comfortable ground - doesn't mean it's a good ground to be on.

I know what I'm saying is rude even nasty - but maybe you'll think about it and do something about it.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

you nasty rude thing, velvett...i agree with you though

 

[awittyusername]

Yes.

It's textbook.

Why do you think women that are battered stay with their abusive boyfriends or husbands? Why do you think that even after they are arrested they can't press charges? They are afraidof what they don't know - what will they do, where will they live, who will tell them what to do?

Familiar ground is comfortable ground - doesn't mean it's a good ground to be on.

I know what I'm saying is rude even nasty - but maybe you'll think about it and do something about it.

Normally, I would agree w/you 100%. But, I have been talking w/georgie and he is going through the exact same thing as me. Everytime I tried to break up, avoid, or just not do what she wanted. She would....

show up at my job w/her kids and cause a scene.
show up at my parents job w/her kids and cause a scene.
show up at my grandpa's nursing home w/her kids and cause a scene.
black mail me about things she stole from my house.
threaten to tell police I beat her
threaten to tell police I abused her kids
bring other guys to my house to kick my ass (for things she made up)
there are many more things even to embarassing to post

georgie24 is going through the exact same shit. In a way you are right about being comfortable by giving in. but, comfortable is not the right word, more like self preservation.

BTW I had to move 2 times and move my business to another town.

 

[vinylgroover]

georgie,

I remember you came on here a year or so ago moaning that your girl wanted to leave you and you had no one and so on and so forth.

After reading your 'i want to get wealthy' post the other day and now reading this, you seem like the sort of person who expects or waits for things to come to them rather than take action yourself. Life isn't like that man........you need to be self motivated and make decisions to take action, otherwise you will be waiting for things to happen for the rest of your life.

The only one that can control your destiny is you.

 

[velvett]

Normally, I would agree w/you 100%. But, I have been talking w/georgie and he is going through the exact same thing as me. Everytime I tried to break up, avoid, or just not do what she wanted. She would....

show up at my job w/her kids and cause a scene.
show up at my parents job w/her kids and cause a scene.
show up at my grandpa's nursing home w/her kids and cause a scene.
black mail me about things she stole from my house.
threaten to tell police I beat her
threaten to tell police I abused her kids
bring other guys to my house to kick my ass (for things she made up)
there are many more things even to embarassing to post

georgie24 is going through the exact same shit. In a way you are right about being comfortable by giving in. but, comfortable is not the right word, more like self preservation.

BTW I had to move 2 times and move my business to another town.

Are you still together?
How about a restraining order?

Move farther away home and business - change your business name and notify all your current clients of the name change.

Desparate situations need desparate action.

I've walked away from my life with a change of clothes, a camera and $260 dollars to get out of a bad situation and I would do it again if that situation was encountered again.

I also understand self-preservation but that too has to have an expiration date.

You have to want it bad enough and you have to be willing to lose everything.

 

[awittyusername]

Are you still together?
How about a restraining order?

Move farther away home and business - change your business name and notify all your current clients of the name change.

Desparate situations need desparate action.

I've walked away from my life with a change of clothes, a camera and $260 dollars to get out of a bad situation and I would do it again if that situation was encountered again.

I also understand self-preservation but that too has to have an expiration date.

You have to want it bad enough and you have to be willing to lose everything.

I'm sorry I wasn't clear. I did change my business and move twice. And, I haven't been around her in almost 2 yrs.

But, you are right. I talked to the police about a restraining order within the first 2 months of knowing her. But, they warned me she would go crazy. So, I chickened out. But, If I would have done it right away it would have been much better in the long run.

 

[-SD-]

you obviously would rather stay with her than leave because you arent leaving......you are just bitching and staying. I dont care what the situation is, if you want out, there is always a way.

 

[velvett]

I'm sorry I wasn't clear. I did change my business and move twice. And, I haven't been around her in almost 2 yrs.

But, you are right. I talked to the police about a restraining order within the first 2 months of knowing her. But, they warned me she would go crazy. So, I chickened out. But, If I would have done it right away it would have been much better in the long run.

CONGRATS!

Yah, restraining orders are the adult version of "no cookies before dinner for you". (1st two months!? - oh my)

Scary huh.

My girlfriend's boyfriend has a restraining order on his ex-wife and let me tell you - can I tell you stories.

 

[big4life]

Trying not to hurt someone's feelings might sound nice, but it's the wrong thing to do with someone who is obsessed or stalkish. The best thing is a clean and fast break. It's also another reason to think twice about that little fling or one night stand.

I remember in college coming out to the parking lot and seeing this car smeared with manure. It seems some girl's ex couldn't handle losing her so he had been following her around and finally saw her with another guy, so he decided to seek revenge. Then there was the neighbor who was away on his honeymoon, and his ex came over and watered his plants. She got inside and turned every faucet in the house on, and flooded the entire house. They figured the water had been running for over two days before anyone noticed. Oh yeah, niether one of the people mentioned above pressed charges, only to have to go for restraining orders later.

 

[georgie24]

she leaves shit in my trunk or my wallet or her house keys on my key chain i dont know till im in another town..then she contacts me threating that i stole the stuff then i fold and go back to her.

 

[awittyusername]

she leaves shit in my trunk or my wallet or her house keys on my key chain i dont know till im in another town..then she contacts me threating that i stole the stuff then i fold and go back to her.

Hey, my ex threatened to say I stole from her too. Are you sure she doesn't have an older sister? This and all the other shit is why I now prefer porn.

 

[velvett]

she leaves shit in my trunk or my wallet or her house keys on my key chain i dont know till im in another town..then she contacts me threating that i stole the stuff then i fold and go back to her.

Then you need to be one step ahead of her.

If you know she does it - check your trunk, check your glove box, certainly you can tell how many keys are on your key chain.

When you find her stuff at your place or in your car - it should be your first priority to give it bak to her and just tell her very sweetly - "oh honey, I thought you might need this" and if she flips out that you took it - remain sticky sweet. "oh honey, you know I don't remember taking it but you know you must be right - how else could it have gotten there".

She stop eventually - you'll iritate the F**K out of her she'll have to find a new routine.

I know I'm evil - but highly effective