I will probably never find love...

[all the whey]

Pay for me and my kid? I never asked anyone to pay anything.

Maybe I'm taking superdave's point the wrong way. The way I'm reading it is that he doesn't waste time on single moms because they are somehow lesser persons than women without children. Personal preference to not having kids around is up to him and doesn't offend me. However, once you near 40, almost everyone has children or ex's to contend with.

I just meant it is the same if he doesn't want to date girls with kids as a woman not wanting to date a man if he doesn't make enough money.



Attention angry women. Please do not reply with any of the following.

1. It's not the money it's his goals.

2. I don't need a mans money.

3. there is too many others to list. But, the point is most women do.

 

[LuluDeren]

HR, you can't think that way. There is always the prospect of finding 'the One', but once you convince yourself that that ideal doesn't exist, you'll settle for whatever comes along.

My mother's second marriage was to a man who not only appreciated, but embraced the fact she had three children. (hell it's my biological father who didn't want us)

 

[heatherrae]

I just meant it is the same if he doesn't want to date girls with kids as a woman not wanting to date a man if he doesn't make enough money.



Attention angry women. Please do not reply with any of the following.

1. It's not the money it's his goals.

2. I don't need a mans money.

3. there is too many others to list. But, the point is most women do.

I don't have anything against a man not wanting to date a woman with kids. I used to not have any kids and dating men with kids was definitely more problems with ex's and hassle. I think it was just that he said it was "on principle" that sort of raised my eyebrow.

 

[heatherrae]

HR, you can't think that way. There is always the prospect of finding 'the One', but once you convince yourself that that ideal doesn't exist, you'll settle for whatever comes along.

My mother's second marriage was to a man who not only appreciated, but embraced the fact she had three children. (hell it's my biological father who didn't want us)

I don't doubt that the right guy is out there. I just never see many people where I live with whom I have anything in common. It would just be hard to find someone here.

 

[heatherrae]

Any woman my age either already has kids, can't have them or is too ugly to find anybody impregnate her...however the fact that I don't have any kids certainly couldn't be thru any faults of mine. I'm just waiting for that right girl.

 

[Dial_tone]

Pay for me and my kid? I never asked anyone to pay anything.

Maybe I'm taking superdave's point the wrong way. The way I'm reading it is that he doesn't waste time on single moms because they are somehow lesser persons than women without children. Personal preference to not having kids around is up to him and doesn't offend me. However, once you near 40, almost everyone has children or ex's to contend with.

I think his point is that a lot of guys will date single moms thinking its an easy score because they don't get out much. Once they've gotten some steady booty for a while they start pondering the idea of becoming an instant dad, eating at Chuckie Cheese every Friday while all their discretionary income suddenly getting socked away for college tuition for somebody else's kids...so they bail leaving the woman feeling rejected.

I don't think he's saying they're all whores. However there's a lot more to consider when dating a single mom so with all the childless babes out there why bother unless she's REALLY something special.

 

[heatherrae]

I think his point is that a lot of guys will date single moms thinking its an easy score because they don't get out much. Once they've gotten some steady booty for a while they start pondering the idea of becoming an instant dad, eating at Chuckie Cheese every Friday while all their discretionary income suddenly getting socked away for college tuition for somebody else's kids...so they bail leaving the woman feeling rejected.

I don't think he's saying they're all whores. However there's a lot more to consider when dating a single mom so with all the childless babes out there why bother unless she's REALLY something special.

hmmmm...okay. makes sense. I think that at my age, I will have lots of men who have already raised kids and will be freaked out at the prospect of having one that is still so little. However, I'm sure a good one will come along who will overlook it.

 

[-SD-]

Because single moms certainly are not worthy of long term relationships, and no one would want them. You are so far above just using the poor women.

Why dont you stop to think that a lot of men dont want to start the first chapter of their book in the middle of someone elses book. How about its not the single mom as a person, its the fact of having to commit to her and a child that isnt mine, and also dealing with probable baby daddy issues. If you think the stats are bad for marriages without kids, try looking up the stats for single moms who get married. Just off the top of my head I can remember my cousins wedding and his wifes bio-dad suddenly wanted to walk her down the aisle and wasnt taking no for an answer, even though he left her and the mother when she was a small child. If I was the guy who decided to get involved with her mother and raise her child with her only to face that bullshit at her wedding? Guess what, it was such a mess that her mom had to walk her down the aisle eve though the guy who raised her all her life was right there for her. Thats just an example of a wide variety of things that would make me think "why the fuck did I get involved with a single mother".
No thanks.

 

[heatherrae]

Why dont you stop to think that a lot of men dont want to start the first chapter of their book in the middle of someone elses book. How about its not the single mom as a person, its the fact of having to commit to her and a child that isnt mine, and also dealing with probable baby daddy issues. If you think the stats are bad for marriages without kids, try looking up the stats for single moms who get married. Just off the top of my head I can remember my cousins wedding and his wifes bio-dad suddenly wanted to walk her down the aisle and wasnt taking no for an answer, even though he left her and the mother when she was a small child. If I was the guy who decided to get involved with her mother and raise her child with her only to face that bullshit at her wedding? Guess what, it was such a mess that her mom had to walk her down the aisle eve though the guy who raised her all her life was right there for her. Thats just an example of a wide variety of things that would make me think "why the fuck did I get involved with a single mother".
No thanks.

Well, I don't need anyone to commit to my son. I can raise him just fine. That isn't the right way to look at it. I guess if a guy thinks I'm a good enough catch, it won't matter. If he doesn't or is to shallow to see past having to stay home from time to time, or whatever, then I don't really need him, anyway.

 

[-SD-]

Well, I don't need anyone to commit to my son. I can raise him just fine. That isn't the right way to look at it. I guess if a guy thinks I'm a good enough catch, it won't matter. If he doesn't or is to shallow to see past having to stay home from time to time, or whatever, then I don't really need him, anyway.

If they commit to you then they commit to your son, cant have it either way. And if you get married he has to commit to you and your son if you have full custody. You and your son are a package deal to any prospective long term relationship a guy would consider with you and they should know that. All Im saying is its much more difficult than dating without a kid for the reasons Ive already mentioned, which are valid and not callous or shallow.