I met a girl, but she kissed another man, and I'm heartbroken

[blueta2]

I'm amazed how much time people spend on trying to help this guy (or alter) He needs a good therapist to work on his serious esteem issues.

 

[Bikini Mod]

this is actually true, steve, listen to these guys.

no means yes, TO AN EXTENT.

you have to be careful, and learn to read the girlies, if she kissed him for a few minutes, that means she liked it and thought he was attractive enough.

girls will convince themselves of anything to not feel like "sluts".

cliffnotes: life sucks and we are doomed

Good lord, you guys can not be serious here. She kissed a man. she didn't suck his cock or offer him all three of her holes to be banged like an animal. Sheesh..

Did the thought ever occur to any of you *men* that sometimes (yes, even us grown women) because we were socialized by aggressive men and because we are nice people by nature just don't know how to push a man off without making him feel badly or feel rejected?!

WTF?

I can not tell you how many men have irked THE SHIT OUT OF ME and fucking ruined any shot because THEY MADE THE FIRST PHYSICAL MOVE. If I like a man and I want to kiss him, guess what?

I KISS HIM.

And no, I have NEVER kissed a man that didn't want me to kiss him. I am NOT an idiot.

Just amazes how far off so many men can be.

Be a fucking gentleman and wait for the woman to make the first physical move. That does not preclude you telling her that you like her very much and would like for you guys to become closer...

Good God... I get so ticked at some men's attitudes.

 

[Forge]

Good lord, you guys can not be serious here. She kissed a man. she didn't suck his cock or offer him all three of her holes to be banged like an animal. Sheesh..

Did the thought ever occur to any of you *men* that sometimes (yes, even us grown women) because we were socialized by aggressive men and because we are nice people by nature just don't know how to push a man off without making him feel badly or feel rejected?!

WTF?

I can not tell you how many men have irked THE SHIT OUT OF ME and fucking ruined any shot because THEY MADE THE FIRST PHYSICAL MOVE. If I like a man and I want to kiss him, guess what?

I KISS HIM.

And no, I have NEVER kissed a man that didn't want me to kiss him. I am NOT an idiot.

Just amazes how far off so many men can be.

Be a fucking gentleman and wait for the woman to make the first physical move. That does not preclude you telling her that you like her very much and would like for you guys to become closer...

Good God... I get so ticked at some men's attitudes.

No offense BM, but not all women are like you. Yes, some women do indeed love for the man to make the first move. In fact, in my experience MOST women like this. They want that little push to be a bit bad, it’s almost like giving them permission to express themselves, because they are a bit too shy to do it on their own.

I understand your hang-ups, but not all women think like you do. Killahbee’s advice is sound to a degree.

 

[Freddie de Lux]

sometimes i wonder if i will ever be able to date women easily, with a fickle and jealous heart like mine.

Darling,

Uncle Freddie will break it down for you and save you lots of wondering: there is no easy dating. Period. There you have it. And it sounds like this girl is a christian party girl. Good for her. Bad for you, because she is not looking for a boyfriend. You really will have to move on and bet your chips on another girl. Talk to Yarg! - he's getting rid of his eligible, pretty girlfriend of 4 months. On an email. She is certain to need a shoulder to cry on.

 

[Bikini Mod]

No offense BM, but not all women are like you. Yes, some women do indeed love for the man to make the first move. In fact, in my experience MOST women like this. They want that little push to be a bit bad, it’s almost like giving them permission to express themselves, because they are a bit too shy to do it on their own.

I understand your hang-ups, but not all women think like you do. Killahbee’s advice is sound to a degree.

I have been told by some women that yes, they prefer the man to make the first physical move. But to say that MOST WOMEN prefer this is silly. And a kiss is hardly what I would classify *dirty*. There is a HYUGE difference between kissing and sex and all the other stuff in between. Why men keep thinking that most women think kissing is *dirty* and would feel the need to have to justify it is beyond me.

Don't you think that it is always best for a man to err on the side of caution if there is even a shred of doubt about what she wants?

Me, I would DIE if I was totally into a guy and made a move on him and he pulled back because he did not feel the same.... but I suppose, that is on me and isn't really too fair to put that on someone else.

Maybe the fact that I like to feel that I am 100% sizzling for a guy before the first kiss IS a hang-up. But if that is the case, then it is a hang-up that I wholeheartedly embrace.

Think of that men.... if a girl is kissed by you before she is 100% into it, the chances are extremely high that it will be *eh* at best. Conventional wisdom says that if this first kiss is *eh* then it don't get better thereafter.

Actually, I would tell most men before I ever even consented to the first date - I DO NOT KISS ON THE FIRST DATE - SO DON'T EVEN ASK. If he had a problem with this caveat then he should not have consented to the date. If it was about sex and nothing more then I made my desires abundantly clear - there was NO QUESTION left in that man's mind what was going to happen next.

 

[Freddie de Lux]

I DO NOT KISS ON THE FIRST DATE

Oh, Darling...

You and I should hang out more. I have a thing or two to teach you. You know that Avatar with a picture of a chubby boy wearing a t-shirt that says "I F*** on the First Date"? Who do you think that 13 yo is???

I know - growing up I was really VERY, VERY popular in my neighborhood...

 

[Bikini Mod]

Oh, Darling...

You and I should hang out more. I have a thing or two to teach you. You know that Avatar with a picture of a chubby boy wearing a t-shirt that says "I F*** on the First Date"? Who do you think that 13 yo is???

I know - growing up I was really VERY, VERY popular in my neighborhood...

See now, I didnt say anything about F***ing.

 

[Forge]

I have been told by some women that yes, they prefer the man to make the first physical move. But to say that MOST WOMEN prefer this is silly.

Well, I said most women “in my experience”, I wasn’t talking most women in general. And in reality, I initiated the first kiss with every women I’ve ever been with, except for my current GF. She came after me.

And a kiss is hardly what I would classify *dirty*. There is a HYUGE difference between kissing and sex and all the other stuff in between. Why men keep thinking that most women think kissing is *dirty* and would feel the need to have to justify it is beyond me.

I didn’t say women thought kissing was dirty, I said that they can sometimes be hesitant, they don’t want to come across too pushy in fear of scaring the man off. When the man makes the first move it takes the pressure off of the woman, it lets her know that yes this guy is into her. It shows confidence IMHO.

Think of that men.... if a girl is kissed by you before she is 100% into it, the chances are extremely high that it will be *eh* at best. Conventional wisdom says that if this first kiss is *eh* then it don't get better thereafter.

Conventional wisdom? Everything in a relationship gets better with time. Kissing, fucking, touching, conversation, it all gets better as you learn more about each other. To expect the initial kiss to be 100% perfect is unrealistic, you learn by doing.

Just my two cents…

 

[Bikini Mod]

Conventional wisdom? Everything in a relationship gets better with time. Kissing, fucking, touching, conversation, it all gets better as you learn more about each other. To expect the initial kiss to be 100% perfect is unrealistic, you learn by doing.

Just my two cents…

I feel you on your points of view. Except the last. If the first kiss/sex act was *eh* at best... you know the kind I am talking where you felt like you were more with a brother/sister than a lover... it NEVER got any better. Whereas if the initial contact was "awkward" but you were both into it, just circumstances made it a bit wierd and one/both of you was not totally at ease - that is a different circumstance altogether.

After a year of serious commitment between my husband and I (our relationship has been tested on so many levels WE have a hard time believing we made it this far) the sex and warmth has gotten a GAZILLION times better. It was admittedly awkward in the beginning for many reasons but we had that spark and connection to begin with... when that isn't there in the beginning... it never (or at least that has been my experience and the opinion of everyone I have asked, although we are just talking ME) got any better. Just sorta stayed *eh*.

 

[Forge]

It was admittedly awkward in the beginning for many reasons but we had that spark and connection to begin with... when that isn't there in the beginning... it never (or at least that has been my experience and the opinion of everyone I have asked, although we are just talking ME) got any better. Just sorta stayed *eh*.

Yeah, I agree with this. It can be awkward or meh but you might still feel something more. My first kiss with my current GF left me underwhelmed to be honest, but I knew she was nervous so I decided to keep seeing her. I’m glad I did too, because the kissing has improved 1000% and she is quite a fascinating woman.

But yep, if it feels like you are kissing a relative then it aint never gonna work!