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i lost my keys.

stilleto

ELITE MENTOR
EF VIP
i mean, i REALLY lost them. I went out yesterday morning, to walmart and the grocery store, and was home all day until this morning, when i realized my keys are gone.
my car key, the house key, my office key, and my office security fob, plus the key to the mailbox, my storage unit, my bike lock, and i don't know what else.

I went to work with my spare car key, but came home and TORE the house apart looking for them. I have a big pocket knife on them, with a flashlight- they are hard to miss. Nothing. I looked in the garbage, the clothes hamper, my jacket, every purse i own. i looked in the kitchen drawers, under every bed and couch. nothing.

this is especially frustrating because
a. i never lose anything. ever.
b. i'm the FINDER of lost things. always, when someone in my house says "i can't find my keys", I go RIGHT to the spot they are and get them.

so after freaking out, i called an old friend of my father's. this woman who claims she's a "VIP". Very Intuitive Person. She's another one who's been trying to get me to harness some psychic crap. I tell her i need her help and i've really lost my keys.

"Have you looked in the refridgerator?"
omg. no. hold on. I go and look and there's no keys.

"How about the bathroom?"
yes, i looked there.

"did you look IN your car?"

Yes, i tell her. then i ask if she's using her intuition or just making me look all over. She tells me its a difficult process, then has me close my eyes and recall what i did when i came in.

Fuck. this is being intuitive? WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KEYS?????????
 
They're *ALWAYS* the last place you look.






































Unless you're a complete fucking moron and you keep looking for them after you located them.
 
we christians (catholics in particular) say this. . .

St. Anthony, St. Anthony
Please come down
Something is lost
And can't be found

. . .might work for you too :whatever:
 
digimon7068 said:
we christians (catholics in particular) say this. . .

St. Anthony, St. Anthony
Please come down
Something is lost
And can't be found

. . .might work for you too :whatever:

i'm pretty much the anti christ, but i'll say it anyway.
 
feisty11975 said:
Garbage disposal? jacket pockets? think girl...THINK!

don't have one, and I was wearing a pull over wind breaker with big pockets in the front. that would have been where I put them, if not my purse or the hook. i looked in there and they aren't there, or on the floor of the closet. or in the pockets of any surrounding jackets.
 
Ok do this, just think of when you FOR SURE had them and when you FOR SURE lost them, try your BEST to remember where you were in this time, and just look everywhere yo have walked, look in REDICULOUS places, try your best, you can do it, comrad.
 
So you did have them when you got home from Walmart and stuff? That means you had them driving home and unlocking your front door? Did YOU unlock the front door or was someone home and you did not need the keys? You may have left them in the front door (not impossible, it happens) and someone may have taken them. From the pics of your house, possibly a hawk or bear, because no one would climb that damn mountain just to rob you.


So, my guess is a Hawk took the keys out of your front door after you forgot them in there.
 
gonelifting said:
So you did have them when you got home from Walmart and stuff? That means you had them driving home and unlocking your front door? Did YOU unlock the front door or was someone home and you did not need the keys? You may have left them in the front door (not impossible, it happens) and someone may have taken them. From the pics of your house, possibly a hawk or bear, because no one would climb that damn mountain just to rob you.


So, my guess is a Hawk took the keys out of your front door after you forgot them in there.
That was my second guess as well.
 
How long have they been missing? Maybe your ugly husband has them and just didn't tell you yet. He may have needed them in an emergency.
 
gonelifting said:
So you did have them when you got home from Walmart and stuff? That means you had them driving home and unlocking your front door? Did YOU unlock the front door or was someone home and you did not need the keys? You may have left them in the front door (not impossible, it happens) and someone may have taken them. From the pics of your house, possibly a hawk or bear, because no one would climb that damn mountain just to rob you.


So, my guess is a Hawk took the keys out of your front door after you forgot them in there.

well, i did have them on my way home, because i don't know how to hotwire a car. so that much we know. they were on my property.

i don't lock my house (because, as you noticed, you have to be a mountain climber to get up here and mountain climbers are historically not criminals. and even if one was, he'd have to roll downhill with whatever he could carry).

so i remember getting out of my car and opening my trunk. i had a birthday present for my daughter in there and some groceries, and the bag from walmart. My son was outside with his friends dad, and I asked my son to help me with the box while i carried the bags to the back door. I put my purse and bags down on the patio table, then went back to get more bags. the friend's father said goodbye and drove off.

obviously, taking my keys with him.

THE BASTARD!!!
ok, that's unlikely. he had a newer truck than i do. i would have either put the keys in my purse (not there), or my windbreaker pocket (not there). they can't fall through the deck, and I looked in the spot where i leave my cell phone overnight, in case i put my keys down when i got in. not there.

so yeah, a hawk probably took it.
 
gonelifting said:
How long have they been missing? Maybe your ugly husband has them and just didn't tell you yet. He may have needed them in an emergency.

he doesn't have them. i checked. neither does my good looking one.
 
and yes, i searched my car. i searched the empty grocery bags. I searched the garbage. I searched the crap i got at walmart. i looked in every friggin' drawer, sink, refriderator. i looked in my shoes. i looked in all the medicine cabinets, my studio, and under ever pillow. i walked the grounds outside. I looked in all the doors, i looked on the front patio, the back patio, and the pockets of anyone who has been in my house.
 
Check the back bumper of the car. lol Yeah, you probably already did that. Don't give us any lip, we're only trying to help. wtf? Ass.

Who knows... maybe the friend's dad liked the knife and took it. I wouldn't kill myself if I had heard that. Well, yes I would.
 
samoth said:
Where have you not looked?

Is it possible you dropped them or something?



:cow:

that's always possible.
and they really could have been carried off by an animal if i had. there's TONS of animals around here- fox, coyote, bear, hawk, turkey, and little things like hedgehogs or something.

i've been trying to clear my mind and think about where I haven't looked yet....

i'm drawing a blank. i think i've looked everyone at least twice.
 
You have wild hedgehogs?! Holy SWeetness!!

... and I think the possibility of animals taking them is slim enough to rule out.



:cow:
 
stilleto said:
and yes, i searched my car. i searched the empty grocery bags. I searched the garbage. I searched the crap i got at walmart. i looked in every friggin' drawer, sink, refriderator. i looked in my shoes. i looked in all the medicine cabinets, my studio, and under ever pillow. i walked the grounds outside. I looked in all the doors, i looked on the front patio, the back patio, and the pockets of anyone who has been in my house.

Every time I look & look for my keys I usually find them in my pocket or in my hand or stuck in my belt. Like when I can't find my reading glasses, although I have never left my reading glasses in the car while it was locked and running.

:santa:
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
Every time I look & look for my keys I usually find them in my pocket or in my hand or stuck in my belt. Like when I can't find my reading glasses, although I have never left my reading glasses in the car while it was locked and running.

:santa:

they are not in my hand.
or in my bed.
or on my belt.

where are they???????????????????


i'm going to go start all over.
 
gonelifting said:
Check the back bumper of the car. lol Yeah, you probably already did that. Don't give us any lip, we're only trying to help. wtf? Ass.

Who knows... maybe the friend's dad liked the knife and took it. I wouldn't kill myself if I had heard that. Well, yes I would.

the knife was sweet.
he was a young dad too. i think only 33 (the kid is 15). maybe he still has a bit of hellfire in him and thought, "hmm. i bet i could swipe those keys".

the bastard.
 
stilleto said:
they are not in my hand.
or in my bed.
or on my belt.

where are they???????????????????


i'm going to go start all over.

I think I must have picked them up accidentally. Do you have my reading glasses? I can't find your keys or my keys.
:santa2:
 
gonelifting said:
The kid!

Kill him, then ask questions.

oh, don't worry, i called both of my boys in school this morning, "where the hell did you put my keys????"

they were both like "huh?"

oh. right. play innocent.
 
Check that giagantic Vagina of yours...

You might end up fishing out Ricky Smith's class ring too.. fugger has been looking for that since 'that' day...
 
They got lost inside your cleavage...along with Rodney Allen Rippy
 
what about between your truck and your house? you had to have the keys in order to even get home from shopping right? somehere outside perhaps? in a bush? under the front mat? sorry if this was already mentioned I didnt read every single post - i get impatient.
 
blueta2 said:
<<<putting on the nylon gloves>>>> Ok bend over, I'll look!

Maybe the girl who hogs your desk??!

oh, i got that girl out of my office fast. told her she has to find another computer to use. she went out to this spare computer we have in our department, then came back to me and said whoever was using it last didn't log off.

"ok," i said.

"what should I do?" she asks.

how the hell should i know? go home? she's not even in marketing. go bother sales. they have nothing better to do.
 
Smurfy said:
what about between your truck and your house? you had to have the keys in order to even get home from shopping right? somehere outside perhaps? in a bush? under the front mat? sorry if this was already mentioned I didnt read every single post - i get impatient.

that does make sense, and there's a lot of ground between the two. i've checked it over and over, but if i dropped them yesterday morning and didn't look again until this morning.. i don't know where they would be. i mean, no person would take them, and I don't know if animals take keys.
 
blueta2 said:
<<<putting on the nylon gloves>>>> Ok bend over, I'll look!

Maybe the girl who hogs your desk??!


btw, thanks poo bear.



lol
youngguns, i actually have a metal detector (inherited), but its not really going to work in my house.
 
stilleto said:
btw, thanks poo bear.



lol
youngguns, i actually have a metal detector (inherited), but its not really going to work in my house.


welcome schnookie

your keys are in the bottom of your hallway closet
 
blueta2 said:
welcome schnookie

your keys are in the bottom of your hallway closet

:)
seriously, that is the place i keep going back to, because i either put my keys in my purse, or my windbreaker pocket.

i've searched that closet over and over though. i'm gonna go look again.
 
feisty11975 said:
So, did you find them?

NO.
i looked in the bushes/leaves/dirt.
i looked under the deck, in the sink, in my car a million times. every drawer, and my kids backpacks.

tonight i'm looking in the barn, and everyone elses car.
 
What bags did you carry into the house? Perhaps they were on top of them and you placed the bags into the freezer/yummy love box.

When I said "The kid", I meant the kid who was with his dad who left. He may have taken the knife.


But just kidding around anyway.

I still think it was a hawk or hawk-like creature.
 
stilleto said:
i mean, i REALLY lost them. I went out yesterday morning, to walmart and the grocery store, and was home all day until this morning, when i realized my keys are gone.
my car key, the house key, my office key, and my office security fob, plus the key to the mailbox, my storage unit, my bike lock, and i don't know what else.

I went to work with my spare car key, but came home and TORE the house apart looking for them. I have a big pocket knife on them, with a flashlight- they are hard to miss. Nothing. I looked in the garbage, the clothes hamper, my jacket, every purse i own. i looked in the kitchen drawers, under every bed and couch. nothing.

this is especially frustrating because
a. i never lose anything. ever.
b. i'm the FINDER of lost things. always, when someone in my house says "i can't find my keys", I go RIGHT to the spot they are and get them.

so after freaking out, i called an old friend of my father's. this woman who claims she's a "VIP". Very Intuitive Person. She's another one who's been trying to get me to harness some psychic crap. I tell her i need her help and i've really lost my keys.

"Have you looked in the refridgerator?"
omg. no. hold on. I go and look and there's no keys.

"How about the bathroom?"
yes, i looked there.

"did you look IN your car?"

Yes, i tell her. then i ask if she's using her intuition or just making me look all over. She tells me its a difficult process, then has me close my eyes and recall what i did when i came in.

Fuck. this is being intuitive? WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KEYS?????????
Did you find my ransom note on the kitchen counter?

uh umm I mean did you find any type of note in your house? :worried:
 
They fell behind your microwave, your oven, your refrigerator when you set your groceries on the counter. I am feeling my psychic presence!!
 
CO B-man said:
They fell behind your microwave, your oven, your refrigerator when you set your groceries on the counter. I am feeling my psychic presence!!

i looked behind any place they could have fallen.

I doubt the kid who was at my house took them, since you wouldn't even know there was a knife on the keyes unless you took it out and figured out how to open it. plus, my son was out there with them.

i checked the fridge. or yummy box, as gonelifting calls it. i checked the place i shove the empty grocery bags so i can later use them to dump kitty litter in them.

i have not, however, checked the kitty liter box. ewww.

so far, i'm going with a hawk like creature. that's the only explanation that makes sense.
 
Do some jumping jacks and listen for some jingling.


Do it!
 
stilleto said:
dude.

jumping jacks?


stilleto don't do jumping jacks.







not if i want to see.

Ah come on, your belly can't be that flabby can it?
 
feisty11975 said:
lol

I told you, Houdini made them dissappear


you might be right.

i came home and looked along the 2 driveways (they are LONG) and in the barn, even though i haven't been in it.

i looked in the bag of dogfood, and yes... i looked in the cat litter box.

i looked behind the couch cushions for the millionth time, and then i took the bag of garbage that had been in the pail and emptied that.

i looked in my sons' closets (found a playboy) and between all the towels.

nothing. its a hawk-like creature.
 
stilleto said:
yes, last night. in a drawER. of a toolbox. that was in my storage facility. 8 miles away.


grrrrrrr.


wtf? How did you manage to do that? lol
 
lol...and I get lambasted about posting details of my life? I'm waiting for the log of sleeping, waking, and eating thread.






:lmao:

J/K
 
Dude, you BETTER give us more details about how that happened. We put our hearts and souls into helping you and you quickly end it like this? Damn you, woman! Damn you!!
 
gonelifting said:
Dude, you BETTER give us more details about how that happened. We put our hearts and souls into helping you and you quickly end it like this? Damn you, woman! Damn you!!
:lmao:

I agree though. You owe us an explanation
 
Seriosuly, it has happened to all of us. That is the main reason we lose stuff. It's because of a stupid reason or mistake we don't think we'd make.


Answer!



and i think it was your husband. I'll find the post i made stating just that and bump it! HA! HAAAAAA!!!!! I was RIGHT!!!! OMG I own you forever now!!!!HAAAAA! HAAAAAAAA!!! HAburp. Excuse me. HAAAAA!!!!
 
gonelifting said:
How long have they been missing? Maybe your ugly husband has them and just didn't tell you yet. He may have needed them in an emergency.




HAAAAAAAA!!111!one!111!!!!!.
 
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