I have the worst hemorrhoid EVAR

[Captain FT]

I feel like I'm squeezing a jaw breaker between my cheeks. I just got done doing cardio and every time I cough I feel like its going to fall out.

I used one of those Preparation H suppositories, OMFG what is that shit. I tried to squeeze out a tiny bit of gas thinking it would be just air, I started leaking oil...oil I tell you.

So much for squats today

FML

 

[stosstruppe]

No luck orb, I had only a minor one 2 years ago & it was irritating as fuck.

 

[bigtravis]

Between this and Melaina's seed tit post. I'm just sick.

 

[rnch]

Tmi

 

[shrimp poboy]

Poop thread lock it up

 

[pdaddyII]

pics or stfu

 

[chris302001]

lmao

 

[digimon7068]

if it's coming from the inside out. . .ya gotta keep stuffing it back up in until the swelling goes away. . .otherwise, ur o-ring is gonna keep pinching the shit out of it (no pun) and it will get worse rather than better.

if it's on the outside, prolly have to get it medically attended to. . .they throw a little rubberband thingy around it and it will dry up and fall off.

in fact, if it's reeeaaallllyyy uncomfortable, prolly oughtta go see ur doc so he/she can abalookie. . .

 

[rnch]

pics or stfu

don't you see enough shit @ work?

 

[miplank]

lolol

 

[empirebuilder]

This was a great read... Man I am definitely not hungry after the seed tit and now your butthole. Hope it gets better bro.

 

[redsamurai]

I saw a video of a hot chick tossing salad the other day to what looked like an asshole with a hemi coming out of it. She apparently didn't mind though cause she was havin at it. Just thought I'd share.

 

[musclemom]

Do yourself a fucking favor, go see a doc ASAP and just get rid of the damned thing. They generally can band them. It hurts for a week, then it's gone and over with.

The worst thing on earth is your asshole running your life.

 

[digimon7068]

Do yourself a fucking favor, go see a doc ASAP and just get rid of the damned thing. They generally can band them. It hurts for a week, then it's gone and over with.

The worst thing on earth is your asshole running your life.

meh. . .there's always some asshole running my life

 

[ortiz34]

Tucks medicated wipes bro
the portable big ones

compress on the affected area for 20-30 seconds
the witch hazel in it will work wonders

lay down for a good 10 minutes at least

I battled hemmys for years

preperation H sucks

good luck

 

[Captain FT]

Tucks medicated wipes bro
the portable big ones

compress on the affected area for 20-30 seconds
the witch hazel in it will work wonders

lay down for a good 10 minutes at least

I battled hemmys for years

preperation H sucks

good luck

Ya I did that, helped some. My wife had some left over from the hospital pregnancy kit thank god. I don't know where this thing came from, that's the last time I go to Cutters.

 

[shirlene29]

I totally can't believe I'm even gonna comment on this on several different levels...cuz who will listen anyway but....
if its internal hangin out you can try to tuck it up (dude, I really loathe myself for not resisting the urge to simply ignore this) with a a witch hazel soaked cotton ball....
ditto for exterior roids...only you can soak the cotton ball in witch hazel and leave it there for as long as your little butt likes it

and for serious?? get some psyllium seed husk based fiber in your life...

 

[Captain FT]

I saw a video of a hot chick tossing salad the other day to what looked like an asshole with a hemi coming out of it. She apparently didn't mind though cause she was havin at it. Just thought I'd share.

this thread is full of sharing bro

 

[Captain FT]

I totally can't believe I'm even gonna comment on this on several different levels...cuz who will listen anyway but....
if its internal hangin out you can try to tuck it up (dude, I really loathe myself for not resisting the urge to simply ignore this) with a a witch hazel soaked cotton ball....
ditto for exterior roids...only you can soak the cotton ball in witch hazel and leave it there for as long as your little butt likes it

and for serious?? get some psyllium seed husk based fiber in your life...

Thanks, I tried the pads with the witch hazel, it was a nice treat. Now its more like a pinched water balloon instead of a reverse goatse

 

[redsamurai]

I totally can't believe I'm even gonna comment on this on several different levels...cuz who will listen anyway but....
if its internal hangin out you can try to tuck it up (dude, I really loathe myself for not resisting the urge to simply ignore this) with a a witch hazel soaked cotton ball....
ditto for exterior roids...only you can soak the cotton ball in witch hazel and leave it there for as long as your little butt likes it

and for serious?? get some psyllium seed husk based fiber in your life...

^^^somebody knows a thing or two about hemi's....lol


what's this "witch hazel" people are talking about?

 

[musclemom]

^^^somebody knows a thing or two about hemi's....lol

what's this "witch hazel" people are talking about?

Herbal astrigent, good all around medicine. Here, thanks to Wikipedia: The bark and leaves are astringent; the extract, also referred to as witch hazel, is used medicinally. Extracts from its bark and leaves are used in aftershave lotions and lotions for treating bruises and insect bites. Witch-hazel helps to shrink and contract blood vessels back to normal size, hence its use as the active ingredient in many hemorrhoid medications. It is also a common treatment for postpartum tearing of the perineum. The seeds contain a quantity of oil and are edible. Also good for treating acne.

 

[jnevin]

Oh for chrissake.

 

[shirlene29]

^^^somebody knows a thing or two about hemi's....lol


what's this "witch hazel" people are talking about?

ugh...Ive had ONE once in my life
Im just a walking home treatment dictionary

 

[AAP]

If you are prone to hemmis (or if you don't know if you are prone to them and don't want to suffer another one in the future finding out), what you can do is since this one is bad (if it is as bad as you say), you just take your ass (pun) down to the emergency room. Yes, I am serious.

Have the doc lance it. They will inject the roid with a numbing agent and then cut it open with a blade and remove the clots inside it. Nasty old bloody things.

Now if you wondered why I say go to emergency room and not your regular doc, well by having a ER visit on your record and the lancing, if you ever get another one you can then use that ER trip as a basis for your doc to schedule a minor out patient surgery where they go up your ass and cut a small indention in there. It will 90% gurantee you won't have another one for the rest of your life and if by some chance you do, it will keep you from getting the kind that pop out from the inside out. You know the most painful ones like you have now.

 

[jnevin]

If you are prone to hemmis (or if you don't know if you are prone to them and don't want to suffer another one in the future finding out), what you can do is since this one is bad (if it is as bad as you say), you just take your ass (pun) down to the emergency room. Yes, I am serious.

Have the doc lance it. They will inject the roid with a numbing agent and then cut it open with a blade and remove the clots inside it. Nasty old bloody things.

Now if you wondered why I say go to emergency room and not your regular doc, well by having a ER visit on your record and the lancing, if you ever get another one you can then use that ER trip as a basis for your doc to schedule a minor out patient surgery where they go up your ass and cut a small indention in there. It will 90% gurantee you won't have another one for the rest of your life and if by some chance you do, it will keep you from getting the kind that pop out from the inside out. You know the most painful ones like you have now.

Your face looks a little bloated in your avi.

Back on oxy's?

 

[MSA122]

jebus; I can't believe I read all the way through page 3 on this!

 

[AAP]

Your face looks a little bloated in your avi.

Back on oxy's?

Did I ever quit them?

 

[jnevin]

Did I ever quit them?

Smart money's on "no".

 

[Captain FT]

I can't believe this hit page 3. The thought of going to the ER to get my ass lanced is uh...well not shocking considering some of the things we read on this board.

Speaking of Cutters... no PICK3 in this thread

 

[PICK3]

Speaking of Cutters... no PICK3 in this thread

 

[digimon7068]

If you are prone to hemmis (or if you don't know if you are prone to them and don't want to suffer another one in the future finding out), what you can do is since this one is bad (if it is as bad as you say), you just take your ass (pun) down to the emergency room. Yes, I am serious.

Have the doc lance it. They will inject the roid with a numbing agent and then cut it open with a blade and remove the clots inside it. Nasty old bloody things.

Now if you wondered why I say go to emergency room and not your regular doc, well by having a ER visit on your record and the lancing, if you ever get another one you can then use that ER trip as a basis for your doc to schedule a minor out patient surgery where they go up your ass and cut a small indention in there. It will 90% gurantee you won't have another one for the rest of your life and if by some chance you do, it will keep you from getting the kind that pop out from the inside out. You know the most painful ones like you have now.

dang. . .you know a lot about roids. . .

 

[redsamurai]

how do they happen anyway? I was told, from a very suspect source, that they either happen from very hard bowel movements or some serious butt pounding.

 

[Melaina]

Crushed ice with milk of magnesia wrapped in a wash cloth to the rectum for 15 min once every 1-2 hours.