I haven't read the whole thread...but I did catch a couple of responses that seem to be along the lines of what I want to say. It's going to sound harsh, but know that it comes from a place of compassion.
Wake up and smell the fucking coffee, nobledude. Life fucking sucks sometimes. Walk in your shoes? Believe me, I've been there. I've even tried it, though it's been 11 years. After I was raped when i was 13 I was suffering from daily flashbacks...know what those are? It's like your mind takes you back and you're THERE again and it's HAPPENING again. I was getting raped over and over and over again by my mind with no end in sight. The only thing that convinced me to try was seeing a child die while I was in the ICU after my attempt. Witnessing the grief of his family.
I know as well as anyone how easy it seems but guess what! While the pain ends for you your family gets stuck with the pain of your choice for the rest of their lives. Your daughter grows up without a father. YOU HAVE A CHILD. Are you out of your mind, even thinking about leaving her behind like that?????
You don't need pity talk, or coddling. You need a swift kick in the ass, and if you were within reach I'd give it to you.
I don't want to be too hard on you...I was in so much pain I was incapable of seeing outside my bubble, so I know that right now, you just can't see the full scope of what you are thinking about. But you have GOT to use EVERY resource to pull out of this. EVERYTHING. PM blueta. Talk to others. Get a good therapist. You can do this, but you've got to do things TODAY. NOW. If you put it off till tomorrow, it will never get done. I know that part, too. DO IT NOW.