A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch, neat. The bartender looks at the man and says "I can't serve anything over 2 ounces. The man looks back at the bartender, slips him a 10% off McDonalds cheeseburger coupon and says "Make it happen"
The bartender says "No"
So the man pulled a strand of twine out of his belt and began to strangle him, sending the bartender reeling to the ground. Then the man smashes a jar of pickled eggs over the bartender's face and pierces his throat with a corkscrew.