I am hurt! I have been cheated on...

[Nobledude]

I am hurt! I have been cheated on...and I was the one who pushed my fiancee away..

It is tough for me to come out and let it out....
I always thought that it happens to others..
I have been engaged with my lady for more than 2 years. We both have Romanian heritage. Before she met me she was deeply in love with a guy from ROmania..at the time she was living in Romania...

She came to US and she found out that her boyfriend was getting married. She was so upset and she started looking into dating sites....so we met..

IT was love at the beginning...after 3 months we had a beautiful and amazing daughter..I was kinda freaked out and I was angry at her , was telling her to go to her mom and such...

I was the mean one in the relationship....I was offending her and I was moody...

Meanwhile, as I found out now from her, she started to keep in touch with her former BF....

Two weeks ago we went to Romania to see my dad who had a stroke. She is from a different town and she also went from my place to see her relatives...

I was hinting to her that she might also see her former BF>...

In fact, as she was there for two weeks they met and they had sex!

To make a story shorter, I have found one of her email addressed to him where she was telling him how bad she was missing him!!!!!

She admitted that she had an affair and she still loves him and her feelings for me are very very low as she told me I killed the relationship..

Now I realize what an idiot I was as I couldnt keep her and couldnt be a nicer person!

I asked her to give it another chance and she agreed but she also said that she loves that guy a lot...

I am so depressed and couldnt sleep all night...It is almost 4.30 am as I write...

I want to make it work!

What should I do to bring her feelings back to me?

Please refrain from sore jokes...

Tx for reading!

 

[bw1]

That sucks bro.

 

[silverstar1025]

Wow I am sorry this happened to you. It does suck when the one you love cheats on you. It hurts like shit. I guess the question is can you really trust her if you stay with her? I have seen relationships work after someone cheats and sometimes it only takes one time for someone to realize their mistakes and never make it again. If you do stay though it will be a long hard road and I am sure will take a long time to trust her again. Does she want to stay with you too? My concern about this is you basically said she loves this man more than you. Do you want to compete with that? I mean you have a child together and all, but won't you always be wondering if she is truely happy with you or if she is thinking about this other man? Everyone deserves to be happy and whether you weren't the perfect fiance or not she still burned you like that. She should have talked to you about your problems and not run to sleep with another man. You deserve someone that will love you with their whole heart not somebody that still has a piece of their heart with another man. Good luck!

 

[Nobledude]

Wow I am sorry this happened to you. It does suck when the one you love cheats on you. It hurts like shit. I guess the question is can you really trust her if you stay with her? I have seen relationships work after someone cheats and sometimes it only takes one time for someone to realize their mistakes and never make it again. If you do stay though it will be a long hard road and I am sure will take a long time to trust her again. Does she want to stay with you too? My concern about this is you basically said she loves this man more than you. Do you want to compete with that? I mean you have a child together and all, but won't you always be wondering if she is truely happy with you or if she is thinking about this other man? Everyone deserves to be happy and whether you weren't the perfect fiance or not she still burned you like that. She should have talked to you about your problems and not run to sleep with another man. You deserve someone that will love you with their whole heart not somebody that still has a piece of their heart with another man. Good luck!

I was the one who ran her away...

She was a nice and caring person and I was mean and grouchy..

She found solace and refuge in her former BF ...She wanted to see him badly and she was surprised to see how much she still loves him!

The guy said that he wanted to divorce his current wife but he didnt say much if he wants to be with my lady...

My fiancee said that she wont be hurt at all if we were to be separated tomorrow!!

It would have been easier for me if my 18 month old baby wasnt involved!

I take guilt as I was the one who pushed her away from me...I am a egotistical, cocky son of a bitch!!

 

[silverstar1025]

I was the one who ran her away...

She was a nice and caring person and I was mean and grouchy..

She found solace and refuge in her former BF ...She wanted to see him badly and she was surprised to see how much she still loves him!

The guy said that he wanted to divorce his current wife but he didnt say much if he wants to be with my lady...

My fiancee said that she wont be hurt at all if we were to be separated tomorrow!!
It would have been easier for me if my 18 month old baby wasnt involved!

I take guilt as I was the one who pushed her away from me...I am a egotistical, cocky son of a bitch!!

Ok so she doesn't want to make it work with you? You want to make it work, but she is ready to move on? I am assuming that based on that statement you made.

 

[bw1]

Oh fuck, what a mess.

 

[Nobledude]

Ok so she doesn't want to make it work with you? You want to make it work, but she is ready to move on? I am assuming that based on that statement you made.

She said that she will give it a try...but chances to get her feelings back to me are low...

IF I were to say " I leave or you can go to your mom" she wont be affected.

But we can try....
A year ago I wanted her to get an IUD...she wanted to have one more kid but I didnt...

Now, I told her that I want to have her IUD removed to have a little brother for my daughter but she doenst want!

 

[Nobledude]

I remember that when she was pregnant in two months she left me ..she went to her mom...I got home and all her clothing was gone..I was so upset!

But I was the one who caused as I would always tell her that she should go to her mom...

Oh, man....I hope not to do anything stupid...I dont want to hurt anyone and I howp I dont hurt myself!

 

[silverstar1025]

She said that she will give it a try...but chances to get her feelings back to me are low...

IF I were to say " I leave or you can go to your mom" she wont be affected.

But we can try....
A year ago I wanted her to get an IUD...she wanted to have one more kid but I didnt...

Now, I told her that I want to have her IUD removed to have a little brother for my daughter but she doenst want!

Please don't give in to her wishes to have a kid now. Nobody should bring a kid into the mix when the relationship is rocky. I guess you can work on it if you really love her, but you must be prepared and keep your guard up. It sounds like she is already out of love with you and who knows if it can be saved now. Plus you will never be able to trust her. If you do decide to work on it you better be sure she has cut off all ties with this man. Is she willing to do that? Do you think you can be the man she wants? You also shouldn't have to change yourself for someone either. Were you really good to her and then suddenly you became a dick or have you always been the same and it wasn't enough for her?

 

[Nobledude]

Please don't give in to her wishes to have a kid now. Nobody should bring a kid into the mix when the relationship is rocky. I guess you can work on it if you really love her, but you must be prepared and keep your guard up. It sounds like she is already out of love with you and who knows if it can be saved now. Plus you will never be able to trust her. If you do decide to work on it you better be sure she has cut off all ties with this man. Is she willing to do that? Do you think you can be the man she wants? You also shouldn't have to change yourself for someone either. Were you really good to her and then suddenly you became a dick or have you always been the same and it wasn't enough for her?

You missunderstood...

I am the one who wanted to have another kid but she doesnt!

I was kinda dick most of the time ! I admit!

I told her to stop emailing or phoning him...Her mom was there today when I told her that I found prof that she cheated on me with her former BF whom she dearly loves!!...

I was the one who pushed her away..and she warned me many times that I may end up alone...Macho me didnt care...

Now I realize what a moron I was...I dont want to loser her.