I usually wake up realluy fast. Unless I'm physically exhausted from something the prior day, I'm fully functional within a couple minutes.
Stimulants do not bide well with me in the morning. I'm not a big coffee fan, but if I drink some, it won't be until I've been up for 4-5 hours.
I cannot comprehend how people are cranky, grumpy, or semiviolent in the morning. What the hell's wrong with you?