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What a great friggin tuesday night.
I get a call from my friend ‘Dave’ around midnight asking if I can give him a ride out to his baby mother’s place. She lives in a rural area where street signs and light posts are as common as gonelifting going to the gym.
I asked him whats up and he tells me that he got this IM from some anon dude with a few pics of his ex doing some trio work at her house and he can clearly see that it is inside his baby boy’s bedroom.
I jumped into the beater-mobile that can still drive without lights and booted over to Dave’s house. Dave was smelling somewhat pickeled and was a shaking, red eyed mess. I talked to him for about two hours before I finally decided that it was his business and I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t let him take care of his own shat.
We got there at a little after 3 and noticed a dodge with a gun rack on the back and that sticker of Calvin pissing on the ford symbol. This was not his ex’s ride.
Commando style we leave the car at the side entrance of the lane which is about 200 yards and run half crouched down (for no reason at all but we felt cool) to the back of the house. The light from the rear den had lit up the backyard pretty good and we could see the shadows of people moving around.
We got behind a wood pile and got a freak show of these two nude dudes – one holding a camera wet-wrestling his ex with full arm swing ass slapping.
Dave lost his stomach instantly, he still loves this ‘woman’. I was pissed, his baby boy was sleeping in that house and the whole idea of that made me rage. I said something like facking biatch when Dave just snapped himself.
Like a freaking injured whale he yelled a groan of pain and picked up a longish log from the pile took a fast run at the house and launched the log through the window.
It was chaos, his ex dove behind the love seat and the dude with the camera must have gotten smacked by either the log or the curtain rod as it crashed down. He hit the floor and stayed there with his hands covering his eyes scared that if he moved his eyes would get cut.
Other dude looses it. Grabs his jeans and is out the side door and on top of Dave in seconds. He was on top pummeling Dave for about three strikes when I picked my jaw off the ground and yelled ‘Freeze police’.
Now I am by no means a police officer and ‘recently-sex-interrupted-guy’ noticed that right quick. Dave being a complacent pansy was simply bawling underneath this guy and knowing he was no threat this shirtless amateur pr0n peddler turned his interest to me.
I didn’t want to fight. I haven’t fought a real fight for some time, but I was NOT coming in to work with a single mark on my face so help me God. Furthermore I was still pissed about Dave’s son being in that house and the adrenaline was coursing.
I took one to the side of my face that felt like a dull thud and killed my ear. I rolled my body with the punch and tried to lay one in the side of his gut on the turn around. Dude was too quick and grabbed my arm throwing me to the ground.
I didn’t feel the cold of the snow at all now that I think about it… So dude comes at me and tried to kick my head. I remember feeling nothing but complete rage at that point and though the thought of running away and locking myself in my car was in my mind – leaving Dave behind was not.
I avoided his kick (barely) and managed to fling some snow at him. Now I know that sounds foolish but I just did it as I was still on the ground and new I was going to loose this fight fast. The dude reacted very fast and blocked the snow and I was able to get back on my feet.
After some struggling and grunting I managed to break free and land a punch in his gut then a solid (possibly the strongest) elbow to the side of face. He fell and was on top of him like an out of control school nerd who finally had the upper hand (except I wasn’t crying) but I was yelling and I remember screaming ‘you piece of sick fucking shit, try to kick me in the head you fuck!’ as I threw as many punches into his ugly face as I could.
When I realized he wasn’t moving I could hear again and Cindy (Dave’s ex) was screaming at me to stop.
After some conversation the cops arrived and the dude and I are charging each other with assault. I wasn’t going to but he is charging me and after I explained everything to the cops they told me if I charged him as well it was more likely we would both drop the charges.
Cindy isn’t charging Dave at or me for anything and the worm with the camera was an over reacting baby who is probably still lying on the floor holding his eyes.
Dave owes me everyone in the office thinks I got owned.
I get a call from my friend ‘Dave’ around midnight asking if I can give him a ride out to his baby mother’s place. She lives in a rural area where street signs and light posts are as common as gonelifting going to the gym.
I asked him whats up and he tells me that he got this IM from some anon dude with a few pics of his ex doing some trio work at her house and he can clearly see that it is inside his baby boy’s bedroom.
I jumped into the beater-mobile that can still drive without lights and booted over to Dave’s house. Dave was smelling somewhat pickeled and was a shaking, red eyed mess. I talked to him for about two hours before I finally decided that it was his business and I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t let him take care of his own shat.
We got there at a little after 3 and noticed a dodge with a gun rack on the back and that sticker of Calvin pissing on the ford symbol. This was not his ex’s ride.
Commando style we leave the car at the side entrance of the lane which is about 200 yards and run half crouched down (for no reason at all but we felt cool) to the back of the house. The light from the rear den had lit up the backyard pretty good and we could see the shadows of people moving around.
We got behind a wood pile and got a freak show of these two nude dudes – one holding a camera wet-wrestling his ex with full arm swing ass slapping.
Dave lost his stomach instantly, he still loves this ‘woman’. I was pissed, his baby boy was sleeping in that house and the whole idea of that made me rage. I said something like facking biatch when Dave just snapped himself.
Like a freaking injured whale he yelled a groan of pain and picked up a longish log from the pile took a fast run at the house and launched the log through the window.
It was chaos, his ex dove behind the love seat and the dude with the camera must have gotten smacked by either the log or the curtain rod as it crashed down. He hit the floor and stayed there with his hands covering his eyes scared that if he moved his eyes would get cut.
Other dude looses it. Grabs his jeans and is out the side door and on top of Dave in seconds. He was on top pummeling Dave for about three strikes when I picked my jaw off the ground and yelled ‘Freeze police’.
Now I am by no means a police officer and ‘recently-sex-interrupted-guy’ noticed that right quick. Dave being a complacent pansy was simply bawling underneath this guy and knowing he was no threat this shirtless amateur pr0n peddler turned his interest to me.
I didn’t want to fight. I haven’t fought a real fight for some time, but I was NOT coming in to work with a single mark on my face so help me God. Furthermore I was still pissed about Dave’s son being in that house and the adrenaline was coursing.
I took one to the side of my face that felt like a dull thud and killed my ear. I rolled my body with the punch and tried to lay one in the side of his gut on the turn around. Dude was too quick and grabbed my arm throwing me to the ground.
I didn’t feel the cold of the snow at all now that I think about it… So dude comes at me and tried to kick my head. I remember feeling nothing but complete rage at that point and though the thought of running away and locking myself in my car was in my mind – leaving Dave behind was not.
I avoided his kick (barely) and managed to fling some snow at him. Now I know that sounds foolish but I just did it as I was still on the ground and new I was going to loose this fight fast. The dude reacted very fast and blocked the snow and I was able to get back on my feet.
After some struggling and grunting I managed to break free and land a punch in his gut then a solid (possibly the strongest) elbow to the side of face. He fell and was on top of him like an out of control school nerd who finally had the upper hand (except I wasn’t crying) but I was yelling and I remember screaming ‘you piece of sick fucking shit, try to kick me in the head you fuck!’ as I threw as many punches into his ugly face as I could.
When I realized he wasn’t moving I could hear again and Cindy (Dave’s ex) was screaming at me to stop.
After some conversation the cops arrived and the dude and I are charging each other with assault. I wasn’t going to but he is charging me and after I explained everything to the cops they told me if I charged him as well it was more likely we would both drop the charges.
Cindy isn’t charging Dave at or me for anything and the worm with the camera was an over reacting baby who is probably still lying on the floor holding his eyes.
Dave owes me everyone in the office thinks I got owned.
