It all started back when worked the graveyard shift as a night watchman in Toys R Us. It would get pretty lonely in there sometimes and I would pass the time putting on puppet shows for myself. Well, pretty soon, the puppets began to feel like real people to me. I know they aren't and I knew they weren't then, but I was lonely.
Well, I started to develop feelings for this one puppet. Her name was Anastasia and she was the lovliest little Kangaroo puppet I'd ever seen. Large midnight black eyes, soft coat, and a slight knowing smirk always alighted on her face. We would talk into the wee hours of the morning. She would accompany me on my rounds, sit with me while I ate lunch, stroke my hair as I read. She was my constant companion.
I don't know who made the first move. I guess it doesn't matter now. There just came a moment when we knew what should come next. I discovered a passion in me that poets only dream about and In an instant, we were all over each other, clawing and panting. It's all a blur of clothes and price tags, skin and fur. I was a bit unsure of myself, so she took the lead. She screamed, "Eat my hot wet pouch you dirty puppet fucker!!" Those words coming from her innocent little pink mouth was just too much for me, and I gave in to the pleasure of pleasuring her. Soon, she couldn't take it anymore and once again she screamed out. This time saying, "Johnson!!! What the fuck are you doing with that goddamn stuffed animal?!?!?!" I was confused. Her voice was different. My mind was reeling and then I realized that my boss had just walked in on us. My throat closed up and I was on the verge of tears. I screamed back, "She's not a stuffed animal!!! She's a beautiful puppet with thoughts and feelings and she loves me and I LOVE HER!!!"
I loved her. I LOVED HER! I couldn't deny it anymore, not to myself, not to the world! I gathered up my clothes as fast as I could, dug out $25 and threw it on the counter as I raced out. She only listed retail $16.99 but I wanted her to feel special. We burst into the night air! We were free!. Free to be together no matter what prejudice we faced. We had each other....
Well, things don't always work out like you hope. Sometimes fairy tales don't end with "They lived happily ever after". It wasn't the stares or the whispers or the cruel children yelling "Puppet fucker, puppet fucker!". Our problems ran deeper than than. She was insanely jealous, always accusing me of visiting toy stores. She constantly searched my clothes for signs of stray puppet hair. Every night she screamed at me in her little kangaroo puppet voice, "You're crazy! Do you know you're fucking a puppet! For God's sake man, get a hold of yourself!"
In the end, it was her psychosis that spelled our demise.