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got dumped..BUT I'M GONNA GET PUMPED, HUMPED, JUMPED AND BUMPED!
- Thread starter Lestat
- Start date
Re: got dumped..
And yeah I suppose there are a lot of great looking ladies here, but there are a lot of good looking people in general... so competition is always high. Seems like women as they get closer to 30 are all complaining that there are not enough quality single guys though.. that's a good thing.. but Ideally I think I'd prefer to date someone 24-28.. although a little younger or older wouldn't automatically disqualify them.
I hope this doesn't make me too cynical.. I hope this experience doesn't make it harder for me to actually open up to someone again, because already I'm pretty slow to warm up.. I dated this last girl for like a year before we said I love you.. and she said it first....
Yeah, I have a Masters degree.. an M.S. not an MBA. I've gotten job offers in other states for 75-85K range but wasn't ready at the time to make a move across the country... part of the reason for that was because I had a great girlfriend here.... I may start looking more aggressively now.Gambino said:
And yeah I suppose there are a lot of great looking ladies here, but there are a lot of good looking people in general... so competition is always high. Seems like women as they get closer to 30 are all complaining that there are not enough quality single guys though.. that's a good thing.. but Ideally I think I'd prefer to date someone 24-28.. although a little younger or older wouldn't automatically disqualify them.
I hope this doesn't make me too cynical.. I hope this experience doesn't make it harder for me to actually open up to someone again, because already I'm pretty slow to warm up.. I dated this last girl for like a year before we said I love you.. and she said it first....
G
Gambino
Guest
Re: got dumped..
Nope...though I enjoy their products from time to time...
Probably a good company to work for though...
Lestat said:
Nope...though I enjoy their products from time to time...
Probably a good company to work for though...
BradG
New member
Re: got dumped..
Lestat,
Reading this thread makes me feel as if I am reading a diary that I wrote myself and simply don't remember. I am in such a similar situation to you it is unbelievable. With me, my wife left me almost a month ago now, because she "doesn't think she is supposed to be married". Our second year anniversary was the 25th, but we have been together for four years and been friends for seven. One good thing is that we don't have any kids.
All I can say is that the emotions you are feeling are EXACTLY the way I have been feeling. The helplessness, the not eating, the constant dreams so that you have no rest from your thoughts/feelings, the suicidal tendencies, all of it, I have been/am experiencing. I think it is just the normal course of events for someone who is faced with loving someone more than anything and finding out that person doesn't love you.
If you want to discuss this with me more you are more than welcome to e-mail me. I find this so odd that we have such similar situations and reactions.
At this point, I am living each day as it comes. I can't say I look forward to the next day, but I deal with them as they come. I also have a great support group of friends and family, which is helping a lot. Sometimes you don't realize your blessings until something like this happens to you. However, I would still prefer it to have not happened.
Good luck with your recovery.
BradG
Lestat,
Reading this thread makes me feel as if I am reading a diary that I wrote myself and simply don't remember. I am in such a similar situation to you it is unbelievable. With me, my wife left me almost a month ago now, because she "doesn't think she is supposed to be married". Our second year anniversary was the 25th, but we have been together for four years and been friends for seven. One good thing is that we don't have any kids.
All I can say is that the emotions you are feeling are EXACTLY the way I have been feeling. The helplessness, the not eating, the constant dreams so that you have no rest from your thoughts/feelings, the suicidal tendencies, all of it, I have been/am experiencing. I think it is just the normal course of events for someone who is faced with loving someone more than anything and finding out that person doesn't love you.
If you want to discuss this with me more you are more than welcome to e-mail me. I find this so odd that we have such similar situations and reactions.
At this point, I am living each day as it comes. I can't say I look forward to the next day, but I deal with them as they come. I also have a great support group of friends and family, which is helping a lot. Sometimes you don't realize your blessings until something like this happens to you. However, I would still prefer it to have not happened.
Good luck with your recovery.
BradG
Re: got dumped..
I REALLY feel for you because its been even longer for your relationship. I knew my ex for a year as friends, then we dated for nearly 2 years. And this shit is TOUGH. Its hard to imagine this happening after a marriage, or even being with her for more years then we were.
I too have been very blessed with some supportive friends and family. I must say though, I have put more raw emotion out here in this thread then I have to any one friend. I don't like burdoning people with my issues and baggage. Plus, people see me as the strong silent type, and it would really change that for many of my friends to see me in tears.
A few of the posts on this thread have really helped me to focus on things I need to do to get through. I really appreciate that. Although I'm far from over this, and I know thoughts of her will linger, maybe forever, I see some bit of hope and and end.. and I look forward to that.
Wow man. I am totally sorry to hear that man. I hope that maybe reading this has helped you in some way. Knowing that you are not alone, that it probably had nothing to do with you, and that the shit happens to other GOOD people.BradG said:
I REALLY feel for you because its been even longer for your relationship. I knew my ex for a year as friends, then we dated for nearly 2 years. And this shit is TOUGH. Its hard to imagine this happening after a marriage, or even being with her for more years then we were.
I too have been very blessed with some supportive friends and family. I must say though, I have put more raw emotion out here in this thread then I have to any one friend. I don't like burdoning people with my issues and baggage. Plus, people see me as the strong silent type, and it would really change that for many of my friends to see me in tears.
A few of the posts on this thread have really helped me to focus on things I need to do to get through. I really appreciate that. Although I'm far from over this, and I know thoughts of her will linger, maybe forever, I see some bit of hope and and end.. and I look forward to that.
Re: got dumped..
Went to bed feeling pretty good, but woke up feeling down about things again. Not as down as before though... it seems like there is a bit of a yo yo effect.. with each low being not quite as low as before and each high being just a little higher.
I still have this feeling of why me... and how the hell did this happen???
Went to bed feeling pretty good, but woke up feeling down about things again. Not as down as before though... it seems like there is a bit of a yo yo effect.. with each low being not quite as low as before and each high being just a little higher.
I still have this feeling of why me... and how the hell did this happen???
Re: got dumped..
1) DENIAL
In the denial stage we refuse to believe what has happened. We try in our mind to tell ourselves that life is as it was before our loss. We can even make believe to an extent by re enacting rituals that we used to go through with our loved one. Making an extra cup of tea for our loved one who is no longer there, rushing back to tell someone that you have met an old friend. Flashing back to times and conversations in the past as though they are here with us now. Introducing someone accidentally by your loved ones name to someone else. They can all be part of this stage.
2) ANGER
We get angry. The anger can manifest itself in many ways. We can blame others for our loss. We can become easily agitated having emotional outbursts. We can even become angry with ourselves. Care must be taken here not to turn this anger inwards. Release of this anger is a far better way to cope with grief in my experience.
3) BARGAINING
Bargaining can be with ourselves or if you are religious with your god. Often we will offer something to try to take away the reality of what has happened. We may try to make a deal, to have our loved one back as they were before the tragic event occurred. It is only human to want thing as they were before.
4) DEPRESSION
Depression is a very likely outcome for all people that grieve for a loss. This is what I would consider the most difficult stage of the five to deal with. There can be a the feeling listlessness and tiredness. You may be bursting helplessly into tears. Feeling like there is no purpose to life any more. Feeling guilty, like everything is your own fault. You may find you feel like you are being punished. Pleasure and joy can be difficult to achieve even from things and activities which you have always gained delight. There can even be thoughts of suicide. There are many different ways in which this stage of grief can manifest itself. If you at any time in this stage feel like doing yourself any harm please do seek professional counseling. Self preservation is a must.
5) ACCEPTANCE
The final stage of grief. It is when you realize that life has to go on. You may still have thoughts of your loved one, but less intense and less frequent. You can here accept your loss. You should now be able to regain your energy and goals for the future. It may take some time to get here but you will.
1) DENIAL
In the denial stage we refuse to believe what has happened. We try in our mind to tell ourselves that life is as it was before our loss. We can even make believe to an extent by re enacting rituals that we used to go through with our loved one. Making an extra cup of tea for our loved one who is no longer there, rushing back to tell someone that you have met an old friend. Flashing back to times and conversations in the past as though they are here with us now. Introducing someone accidentally by your loved ones name to someone else. They can all be part of this stage.
2) ANGER
We get angry. The anger can manifest itself in many ways. We can blame others for our loss. We can become easily agitated having emotional outbursts. We can even become angry with ourselves. Care must be taken here not to turn this anger inwards. Release of this anger is a far better way to cope with grief in my experience.
3) BARGAINING
Bargaining can be with ourselves or if you are religious with your god. Often we will offer something to try to take away the reality of what has happened. We may try to make a deal, to have our loved one back as they were before the tragic event occurred. It is only human to want thing as they were before.
4) DEPRESSION
Depression is a very likely outcome for all people that grieve for a loss. This is what I would consider the most difficult stage of the five to deal with. There can be a the feeling listlessness and tiredness. You may be bursting helplessly into tears. Feeling like there is no purpose to life any more. Feeling guilty, like everything is your own fault. You may find you feel like you are being punished. Pleasure and joy can be difficult to achieve even from things and activities which you have always gained delight. There can even be thoughts of suicide. There are many different ways in which this stage of grief can manifest itself. If you at any time in this stage feel like doing yourself any harm please do seek professional counseling. Self preservation is a must.
5) ACCEPTANCE
The final stage of grief. It is when you realize that life has to go on. You may still have thoughts of your loved one, but less intense and less frequent. You can here accept your loss. You should now be able to regain your energy and goals for the future. It may take some time to get here but you will.
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