give me one reason I should like you

[MarthaStewart]

I hate pretty much everyone on this board.
For about 99% of you, the idea alone makes me fucking wretch.
To think that you go about your daily lives and don't get hit by a bus - that right there tells me that there is no fucking God.
If there were a God, he would have killed off your pathetically fat asses long ago.
If I saw you in person I would nod and smile and then hold back the urge to vomit all over you as you went on and on about your disgustingly trivial life in front of me.
I would count the seconds until your stench ridden worthlessness waddled off into a part of the world where sorry ass losers aren't regarded with utter and total contempt.
Otherwise, you wouldn't live a day longer you sick assholes.

Now, give me one reason why I shouldn't feel this way towards you. If it is a good reason, then I will stop hating you and at worst simply regard you as someone that deserves to live out the rest of their life - and at best I will worship you like a deity and become a slave to the idea of you.

 

[MarthaStewart]

mmmmm, makes me want to watch the movie Se7en

Okay, the fact that you have football shit in your avatar initially makes me wish some sort of death to you involving fire.

But the fact that you want to see Se7en again is enough to cancel out all that shit and you are just another dude to me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like you at all - but I don't hate you, nor do I wish a slow and painful death on you.

 

[dawookie]

hold back the urge to vomit all over you as you went on and on about your disgustingly trivial life in front of me.



mmmmm, makes me want to watch the movie Se7en

 

[Nathan]

This was a devastating blow to my already fragile ego. At least I'm fucking gorgeous.

 

[KillahBee]

bloody burnt ankles
treehouse is detrimental
chained up angst-filled fuck

 

[MarthaStewart]

bloody burnt ankles
treehouse is detrimental
chained up angst-filled fuck

Your avatar is the traditional "two nasty skanks on E, fake-dyking out for the camera because they need the attention" that overweight men with small penises flaunt as a way to try to hide the fact that they haven't had sex in over 10 years.

That right there makes me hate - I would love to watch your organs spill out into the warm night air, falling with soft splashes onto the dirty parking lot of the shitty ass bar you frequent on weekends.

That said, your haiku was nearly beautiful and I appreciate things that are on the verge of offensiveness.

Therefore, I hate you no more than DaWookie. I have no desire to kill you, but if you ever show up at my house, expect to die.

 

[from zero]

I love you Martha.

 

[MarthaStewart]

This was a devastating blow to my already fragile ego. At least I'm fucking gorgeous.

I've never seen you, but I imagine that you are as scarily malformed as the rest of the idiots on this board.

That said, I have no problems with you.

While I would take great satisfaction in seeing a late model Cadillac drive into you going well over 90mph and smash you into a stone building, crushing your pelvis and forcing your life out through the top of your head... I do find your posts amusing.

Again, I don't hate you, but if I ever seen you in person, expect a knife in the gut and a boot in the ass.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Hmmm... something that Martha Stewart would appreciate. Let me think.....

I got it! This is pretty strange. My first roomate after moving away from home for my first time had double YY chromosomes, owned over 200 knives, and was very muching into being tied up, beaten and tortured by women, and would regularly bring his lady friends over. We are still friends I chat with him about once a week long distance.

 

[MarthaStewart]

I love you Martha.

Initially I didn't think that I really hated you. But now you've done it.

The hate I now feel for you exceeds even my hatered for the blind.

I hope a bus makes a wrong turn and levels your house while you are having a dump so large and painful that you are crying on the toilet when the bus hits, your eyes full of tears, looking up towards the sky at your false idol, begging for swift release and hoping that in the future your dietary fiber content is higher.