Foreigner’s are Crazy.

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

Foreigner’s are Crazy.

"The government must crack down on this disgusting craze of "Pumping", a spokesman for the Nakhon Ratchasima hospital told reporters. "If this perversion catches on, it will destroy the cream of Thailand's manhood."

He was speaking after the remains of 13 year-old Charnchai Puanmuangpak had been rushed into the hospital's emergency room. "Most 'Pumpers' use a standard bicycle pump," he explained, "inserting the nozzle far up their rectum, giving themselves a rush of air, creating a momentary high. This act is a sin against God."

Charnchai took it further still. He started using a two-cylinder foot pump, but even that wasn't exciting enough for him, and he boasted to friends that he was going to try the compressed air hose at a nearby gasoline station. They dared him to do it so, under cover of darkness, he snuck in.

Not realizing how powerful the machine was, he inserted the tube deep into his rectum, and placed a coin in the slot. As a result, he died virtually instantly, but passers-by are still in shock. One woman thought she was watching a twilight fireworks display, and started clapping.

"We still haven't located all of him.", say the police authorities. "When that quantity of air interacted with the gas in his system, he nearly exploded. It was like an atom bomb went off or something."

"Pumping is the devil's pastime, and we must all say no to Satan," Ratchasima concluded. "Inflate your tires by all means, but then hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you."

 

[satanic goatslayer]

People also don't like it when you ram an oxy-acetalyne torch up their rectum and turn it on full tilt.

 

[HumorMe]

One woman thought she was watching a twilight fireworks display, and started clapping

This is fucking hilarious! People never cease to amaze me! That's fucked up but.......uhm.......Hey May........here's a new idea for you!

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

i totally cracked up at that part too.

 

[3Vandoo]

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

hey how do you get that little person to say your a girl or a boy?

 

[HumorMe]

What amazes me is...

how do people think of these things to do? I guess they are just sitting around bullshitting and one of them says..."What can we do for a rush?" The other says.."I don't know..all I have is this bicycle pump." The other says.."Hey, stick that thing up your ass and pump it a bit and let's see what happens." Then he says.."Dude, that was awesome...got a high on that one!" "Let's go down to the gas station and try their air hose...that will be a blast." Yep..sounds like it was a blast alright! Fucked up people! Mentality of mud!

 

[Roadblock]

Poof!

 

[WarriorPL]

hey how do you get that little person to say your a girl or a boy?

Edit Options...

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

Yet another one........

MAN DIES IN FREAK ACCIDENT (Nov. 13) –

A 39-year-old Charlottesville Man died Thursday in a freak accident involving his washing machine.

According to police reports, Samuel Randolph Strickson was doing laundry when he tried to speed up the process. Strickson apparently tried to stuff approximately 50 pounds of laundry into his washing machine by climbing on top of the washer and attempting to force the clothing into the basin. Strickson then apparently accidentally kicked the washing machine's ON button. When the machine turned on, Strickson lost his balance and both feet went down into the machine, where they got stuck.

The machine started its cycle, and Strickson, unable to free himself, started thrashing around as the machine's agitator went into gear. Strickson's head banged against a nearby shelf in the laundry room, knocking over a bottle of bleach, which poured over Strickson's face, blinding him.

Forensic reports say Strickson apparently also swallowed some of The bleach. He then vomited, but was still unable to free himself.

Strickson's dog, then apparently came into the laundry room. At about the same time, according to police, a large box of baking soda fell from the shelf, startling the dog, who then urinated.

Urine, like vinegar, is acidic, and the chemical reaction between the urine and the baking soda resulted in "a small explosion," according to police reports. The dog, however, escaped unharmed.

Strickson remained stuck in the washing machine, which eventually went into its high-speed spin cycle, spinning Strickson around at about 70 miles per hour, according to forensic experts. Strickson's head then smashed against a steel beam behind the washing machine, immediately killing him.

A neighbor heard the commotion and called 911, but Strickson was pronounced dead at the scene.

 

[HumorMe]

That's fucked up too! Visually picture this in your mind and you will laugh your ass off! I can see that dog pissing and then that small explosion...Shit...that is so fucking funny.

Hey SexKitten.....if you post more of these, my wife is going to come downstairs because I am LMAO!!!!!

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

HumorMe

One more for you baby......

MED STUDENTS

A pre-med student from the University of Arizona was hoping to core big with his date on a Friday night. To put the girl in the mood, he drove her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon which overlooks the city of Tucson. They walked to an open knoll where they could ee the city lights. Overcum by the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they stripped down, made a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making love.

The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder inside them excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of lightning, they never looked up to see the charred remains of once great trees. Their idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during the warm desert nights.

With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck the high point on the knoll, which happened to be the pre-med student's ass, and sought the path of least resistance --- straight down! Incredibly, he survived, but was in excruciating pain. The heat of the lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the lovers were now stuck together like a pair of dogs. The girl, unfortunately, did NOT survive the lightning strike!

When the student looked down into the vacant eyes of his girlfriend and realized she was dead, his immediate repulsion caused him to jerk away from her, which of course, he couldn't! A wave of pain and nausea made him vomit into the girl's face and open mouth! Heaving only caused more pain and repeated vomiting until he finally passed out.

Attracted by the smell of "food," a bear found its way to the Siamese lovers and began to lick semi-digested pizza and buffalo wings from the dead girl's face. The student came to, but when he saw the bear, there was little he could do but lay there silently in fear. To his horror, the bear became dissatisfied with just a lick and started to eat the girl, loudly crunching her facial bones only inches from his ear. The bear also tasted the student, scraping the back of his skull with its teeth, before moving on.

Around mid-morning a group of junior girl scouts, up for a fun weekend camp-out, arrived at the campsite where the pre-med student's car was parked. It was only a matter of minutes before three screaming girls discovered the student, who had regained consciousness several times in the night and had managed to drag himself and the partially-eaten girl about 20-feet.

Doctors managed to "successfully" separate the student from the corpse, but Mr. Happy looked like a small piece of cauliflower in its flaccid state. The first hint of arousal resulted in so much pain, that the student was unable---and unwilling---to achieve an erection. Future surgeries may produce a reasonably functioning penis, but the student's family jewels, referred to by the doctors as the "scrotum mass," are irreparable.

 

[Roadblock]

It hurts to read

 

[HumorMe]

DAHUM!!!!!!!!! Talking about a DATE to remember! That's way fucked up there! He came and she went! The bear thing is really bad! Why don't they ever print these articles in my newspaper?

 

[WarriorPL]

LOL these are too good, haha, where do u find these things??

 

[SeXKiTTen_CanDy]

Whiz,

They are true stories bud, really.



They are called 'Darwin Awards'

Email stuff.

Thought I'd share it with all you losers.

Just kidding.

 

[Roadblock]

Crazy?

 

[Laserdude]

Here one for ya, A man was cleaning motor cycle parts in his garage and in a small tray he had used for this process and needed to dump the gas so thinking he could flush it down the toilet off his garage he poured it in and didn't flush it. He went and finished up in the garage with what ever he had to do.

He had apparently spilled some on his self and really didn't think about it and it masked the rather strong smell of gas in his toilet.
He then went to wash up and then sat down and used the toilet and thought now would be a good time for a smoke while on the thone. Lit up the cigarette and prompty blew up the toilet and and burned him self severly on the ass and genitals.

Theres more I'll post later.

IDIOT!!!!!

 

[plifter]

Re: Yet another one........

MAN DIES IN FREAK ACCIDENT (Nov. 13) –

Urine, like vinegar, is acidic, and the chemical reaction between the urine and the baking soda resulted in "a small explosion," according to police reports. The dog, however, escaped unharmed.

This is bogus. Urine is an acid and baking soda is a base. The baking soda would neutralize the acid. There would be no reaction. Haven't you people taken chemistry? They always teach you to pour baking soda over any spilled acids.

 

[manny78]

Stupid nations...... then we find people here who think we should accept refugees from these countries......

 

[danielson]

Re: Re: Yet another one........

This is bogus. Urine is an acid and baking soda is a base. The baking soda would neutralize the acid. There would be no reaction. Haven't you people taken chemistry? They always teach you to pour baking soda over ant spilled acids.

gas would be liberated from the baking soda. as both are very weak acids and bases, you would get a fizzle rather than a explosion of gas....and since the urine is a stream it woul be very minute....couldnt really be descibed as an explosion