Fiancee expects me to pay for her gas. Yes/no?

[canadianhitman]

No, it's you thinking the problem is you... which it IS, if you continue to ignore your gut.

TRUST YOUR GUT, for God's sake man. If it feels wrong, IT IS WRONG.

She's got the classic signs of being a leech. You know it, I know it, we all know it.

 

[Basikstylz]

sometimes i get the feeling she is unappreciative. its probably just me being weird though..

The best advice anyone here can give, and has given you is to talk to her!! Find out her expectations and tell her yours. Find out if there is a place that you guys can meet and keep eachother happy. If not maybe your with the wrong person...

I know its easier to tell you to have this conversation with her than it is for you to do it. This is becasuse for you to sit down and talk to her it means that you are leaveing yourself open to the possibility that this may not be the future you want. But, its better to know now that you have different wants/needs/expectaions than it will be if you find out after you get married, or after you have kids.

 

[rnch]

i give their marriage 3 years and bankruptsy.

 

[Bikini Mod]

she said she watched her sister and mother gamble.. we are mid/late 20s. me 28, her 25.

what a great point you make though: why feel badly for someone employed!!!
i wish i would have thought of that and said that to her.

I believe that she didn't gamble, as I said I've done that many times myself but you guys are really too young and should NOT be getting married. At least not now anyway as the two of you are clearly on different pages.

It is not *just* about money but points of view. And trust me when I tell you the consequences will NOT be good.

 

[canadianhitman]

The best advice anyone here can give, and has given you is to talk to her!! Find out her expectations and tell her yours. Find out if there is a place that you guys can meet and keep eachother happy. If not maybe your with the wrong person...

I know its easier to tell you to have this conversation with her than it is for you to do it. This is becasuse for you to sit down and talk to her it means that you are leaveing yourself open to the possibility that this may not be the future you want. But, its better to know now that you have different wants/needs/expectaions than it will be if you find out after you get married, or after you have kids.

LISTEN TO THIS ADVICE, and while you're having that talk...be careful...make sure she's telling you the truth...not just what she thinks you want to hear.

 

[Lestat]

for that kinda money spent she'd better go anal for you.

..

 

[Bikini Mod]

i give their marriage 3 years and bankruptsy.

I wouldn't doubt it...

With all due respect, may I ask the thread starter why it is that he decided to marry this woman in the first place?

 

[bodybyjake]

TRUST YOUR GUT, for God's sake man. If it feels wrong, IT IS WRONG.

She's got the classic signs of being a leech. You know it, I know it, we all know it.

she does have some redeeming qualities but there are times when things like this overshadow them unfortunately.

 

[javaguru]

A good heart? Please. She's just VERY comfortable spending YOUR money. Run, don't walk...

lolloll..yeah, it's easy to spend someone else's money.

 

[Captain FT]

well my fiancee got laid off a little while ago and has been looking for another job. she's blown all her savings on bills/living expenses since losing it and thinks i should pay for her gas.. A few times I put in without her even asking so I guess she got used to taht and started expecting me to do it... I didnt one time and she got upset and said "you're my fiancee, you should be doing that"
???? is she wrong???
we dont live together yet either.

I'm also going to go out on a limb here and recommend living together first before you get married too. I'm 31, married almost 3 years, been with her for 7 years. We lived together for 3 years before getting married. I wanted to make sure we were going to work as a couple before getting married. My parents have been married for almost 40 years and with todays current divorce rate I think thats amazing.

If you live together first you get to see how you will work as a couple but still have some sense of independence. You have to share bills and living expenses, groceries, food, cooking dinners, habits and routine, etc. If things didn't work after a year of living together you don't have to go through a divorce, you just go your separate ways. Almost all my girlfriends since college I chose to live with, I went through three of them before finding my wife and I am glad I lived with them all first.

The other thing is communication, you both need to communicate what your expectations are in the relationship for it to be healthy.

Before I decided to get married I read a book called "Smart Couples Finish Rich". Its not just about money its about having a rich relationship with your partner, but money is definitely a topic. Good book, I highly recommend it.

Good luck to you bro, definitely need to communicate more with her.