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Feeling an immense amount of stress sucks

S

stilleto

ELITE MENTOR
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job- about to redesign our corporate site. guess who does that? me. alone. I have two interns starting next month, but they will most likely be more of a burden than anything for a while.

also, just took on another big technical task at work, which is time consuming, difficult, and most people just want to see it done, without caring about how much work it is. That's cool, except there's a lot of pressure on me to learn it/finish it.

on top of that, I realized i'm underpaid. So i wrote a proposal for a raise. mentioned to my supervisor that I was going to the top with it and he told me HE would go. and that's where we've sat for the last week. So today I had to tell him that I'm not waiting. now i've ticked him off, and on top of that, I still have to present my case for why I deserve another $20k per year. I can NOT explain why, but the thought of asking for that makes me want to vomit, and then cry. It's totally irrational, because my job loves me and I do a great job and EVERYONE in management has said I deserve it, but I KNOW i'm going to cry like a fucking idiot when I have to ask, and that is pissing my self off.

ALSO, i got called for a phone screening for a different job... DOWN the road from my house. The incredible thing is, i live in the middle of the woods, but there is a HUGE company right nearby, that I can get to though a trail, and they need a marketing manager. I could walk, or RIDE MY HORSE to work. how cool would that be??? so now i'm just waiting. ugh.

and lastly, having teenagers is teh suck. we have a great relationship, but the stress is killing me.

also, i have lyme disease. which is fine, but these antibiotics are yuck.

I wish i was retarded.
 
stilleto said:
job- about to redesign our corporate site. guess who does that? me. alone. I have two interns starting next month, but they will most likely be more of a burden than anything for a while.

also, just took on another big technical task at work, which is time consuming, difficult, and most people just want to see it done, without caring about how much work it is. That's cool, except there's a lot of pressure on me to learn it/finish it.

on top of that, I realized i'm underpaid. So i wrote a proposal for a raise. mentioned to my supervisor that I was going to the top with it and he told me HE would go. and that's where we've sat for the last week. So today I had to tell him that I'm not waiting. now i've ticked him off, and on top of that, I still have to present my case for why I deserve another $20k per year. I can NOT explain why, but the thought of asking for that makes me want to vomit, and then cry. It's totally irrational, because my job loves me and I do a great job and EVERYONE in management has said I deserve it, but I KNOW i'm going to cry like a fucking idiot when I have to ask, and that is pissing my self off.

ALSO, i got called for a phone screening for a different job... DOWN the road from my house. The incredible thing is, i live in the middle of the woods, but there is a HUGE company right nearby, that I can get to though a trail, and they need a marketing manager. I could walk, or RIDE MY HORSE to work. how cool would that be??? so now i'm just waiting. ugh.

and lastly, having teenagers is teh suck. we have a great relationship, but the stress is killing me.

also, i have lyme disease. which is fine, but these antibiotics are yuck.

I wish i was retarded.
Click to expand...

wtf is wrong with you people!
 
You have a horse?

Awesome.
 
75th said:
You have a horse?

Awesome.
Click to expand...

i do.
this is my boy:
Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting

he loves me. I want a job that's down the road that I could ride my horse to so bad. The kind of job where I could leave work at 6 and be home at 6:05, unless I had to saddle my horse and then it would be 6:15.
Right now, i drive an hour each way and it's going to get longer.

The thought that i WON'T get this is killing me.
 
bino said:
sorry about the lyme disease :(
but what would the horse do when you were at work
just chill outside?
Click to expand...

they have a barn. for the other people that ride their horses to work.

I probably never would, but it's still pretty awesome.
I don't know the exact size of the company, but this is their corporate headquarters and it's a pretty big place.
 
stilleto said:
they have a barn. for the other people that ride their horses to work.

I probably never would, but it's still pretty awesome.
I don't know the exact size of the company, but this is their corporate headquarters and it's a pretty big place.
Click to expand...

i could be wrong, but i imagine you try to look good at work.
unless you could wear stained and horse stinking jeans everyday, it'd be pretty hard.
 
PICK3 said:
Welcome to my life :evil:

Click to expand...

:)
cute.
i don't know what you do for a living... is it technical and creative like mine? are you required to come up with new and brilliant ideas and designs all the time, while also being interrupted every 5 minutes because you're the only one that understands software, scanners, copiers, fax machines, and how to manipulate PDFs?
Do you leave your house at 7:30am and get home at 7:30pm and work through lunch most days?
do you have a 14 year old girl who's friends are sexting?
or an 18 year old boy who's friends are all drinking or dropping out of college?
how about a 19 year old brother who is so angry at women that you worry about his future well being?
or another 19 year old brother living in a group home for special needs adults?

I do.
:(
Its not that i'm complaining about any of it- it's that it all hits me at once, and then someone will get annoyed at me for being quiet, or not being cheerful.
well excusefuckingme.
 
stilleto said:
also, i have lyme disease. which is fine, but these antibiotics are yuck.

I wish i was retarded.
Click to expand...
:worried:

What I've read about Lyme disease is that is not fun at all.

/checks self for ticks

Hope you get well soon.






















b0und (seriously)
 
I think Id take that job just fro braging rights about riding my horse to work :D
Did you already go to an interview there?
 
nangiggles said:
I think Id take that job just fro braging rights about riding my horse to work :D
Did you already go to an interview there?
Click to expand...

just a phone screening, which i THINK went very well, but i can't help thinking that the people who SUCK probably think they did well too.

I have zero experience in this industry (insurance) and I may be asking for a higher salary than most around this podunk town, but who knows... maybe they can't really find experience since they are one of the few employers.

I am definately taking the job if offered, but I have to just wait for the interview now.

oh, and i don't know if i really WOULD ride my horse to work, since it's kind of more trouble than it's worth, but thinking about being home a minute after i leave the office is heaven...
 
What about the bear? Don't forget it!

And take the job closer to home, I do that know and I'm not going back

now get off my damn boat
 
I have to tell 25 people today that they are being laid off. I'm being laid off right along with them. But for some reason I do not feel stress about this.
 
Smurfy said:
I have to tell 25 people today that they are being laid off. I'm being laid off right along with them. But for some reason I do not feel stress about this.
Click to expand...

At least you knew it was coming.
 
i feel lyme disease is only inevitable for me, in the woods everyday always get ticked up
suck
 
I wish I could take on some of your stress. I have surprisingly little in my life.
 
Sorry to hear all this. My life has been hell for the past 2 months. Last week I almost had a mental breakdown, I was so stressed I was developing ulcers. The only thing that held me together was a couple tokes of weed at the end of the day fwiw.

Now, I am getting better everyday but it's still tough.
Try and relax, regroup, and not sweat the small stuff.
 
bino said:
i feel lyme disease is only inevitable for me, in the woods everyday always get ticked up
suck
Click to expand...

I was lucky to have seen this right away, and develope a bullseye. I started on antibiotics within 2 days, but I have to admit that the site of the bullseye is still swollen and itchy.... 2 weeks later.
 
nangiggles said:
Stilleto, how long ago was the phone interview?
Smurfy, wow that sucks... got any new jobs lined up?
Click to expand...

It was really a phone screening, but it was half an hour. At the end, the woman said that although she has my resume, she wanted to know if there was any additional information I would like to give.
I told her that i have a copy of my previous yearly and quarterly reviews, and they are all excellent. I also said that although I don't change jobs very often, I was very proud of the fact that i'm still friendly with every ex employer and they were all sorry to see me leave. She said that was great. I'm hoping that those things, combined with my experience that's exactly what I do now, combined with living within walking distance of their secluded company, will garner a face to face interview.
my only drawback might be my salary, and my lack of insurance experience.
 
stilleto said:
It was really a phone screening, but it was half an hour. At the end, the woman said that although she has my resume, she wanted to know if there was any additional information I would like to give.
I told her that i have a copy of my previous yearly and quarterly reviews, and they are all excellent. I also said that although I don't change jobs very often, I was very proud of the fact that i'm still friendly with every ex employer and they were all sorry to see me leave. She said that was great. I'm hoping that those things, combined with my experience that's exactly what I do now, combined with living within walking distance of their secluded company, will garner a face to face interview.
my only drawback might be my salary, and my lack of insurance experience.
Click to expand...

How long ago was this phone screening? some companies hire in days (like the one that hired me) but some take up to a month so just hang i there and be patient
 
stilleto said:
job- about to redesign our corporate site. guess who does that? me. alone. I have two interns starting next month, but they will most likely be more of a burden than anything for a while.

also, just took on another big technical task at work, which is time consuming, difficult, and most people just want to see it done, without caring about how much work it is. That's cool, except there's a lot of pressure on me to learn it/finish it.

on top of that, I realized i'm underpaid. So i wrote a proposal for a raise. mentioned to my supervisor that I was going to the top with it and he told me HE would go. and that's where we've sat for the last week. So today I had to tell him that I'm not waiting. now i've ticked him off, and on top of that, I still have to present my case for why I deserve another $20k per year. I can NOT explain why, but the thought of asking for that makes me want to vomit, and then cry. It's totally irrational, because my job loves me and I do a great job and EVERYONE in management has said I deserve it, but I KNOW i'm going to cry like a fucking idiot when I have to ask, and that is pissing my self off.

ALSO, i got called for a phone screening for a different job... DOWN the road from my house. The incredible thing is, i live in the middle of the woods, but there is a HUGE company right nearby, that I can get to though a trail, and they need a marketing manager. I could walk, or RIDE MY HORSE to work. how cool would that be??? so now i'm just waiting. ugh.

and lastly, having teenagers is teh suck. we have a great relationship, but the stress is killing me.

also, i have lyme disease. which is fine, but these antibiotics are yuck.

I wish i was retarded.
Click to expand...

Since when are you not retarded?
 
nangiggles said:
How long ago was this phone screening? some companies hire in days (like the one that hired me) but some take up to a month so just hang i there and be patient
Click to expand...

They just called me on monday. She was very nice and told me the steps- that she is almost done doing the initial phone screening, and from their she's giving her recommendations to the department head, who will choose the ones she wants to call for a phone interview. From there, she will choose who she wants to call in.
So really, I have to wait for the recruiter/HR person to finish the phone screenings, then wait for the Dept. head to call. I know that could easily be 2 weeks.

I just want to work there NOW.
i have work to do tonight from home... i have to come up with my own quarterly goals and metrics. i have to come up with my OWN? if i'm managing myself, then i'm giving myself a raise.
 
Well... think it didnt go well, set urself up for failure, if you dont get it u expect it and if you do it will be awesome :)
 
bino said:
i could be wrong, but i imagine you try to look good at work.
unless you could wear stained and horse stinking jeans everyday, it'd be pretty hard.
Click to expand...

yeah, that's why it's more trouble than it's worth. My horse trainer works there and she ride her horse, but i'm guessing she just looks gross all day.
 
stilleto said:
yeah, that's why it's more trouble than it's worth. My horse trainer works there and she ride her horse, but i'm guessing she just looks gross all day.
Click to expand...

She probably just takes a change of clothes and gets ready in th bathroom at the job lol Wouldn't that be professional :-)

-Legacy
 
stilleto said:
yeah, that's why it's more trouble than it's worth. My horse trainer works there and she ride her horse, but i'm guessing she just looks gross all day.
Click to expand...

You could ride a recumbent bicycle to work then.
 
Mr. dB said:
You could ride a recumbent bicycle to work then.
Click to expand...

yeah, getting there would be super fun.. but going home would be impossible.

i live at the top of a very steep mountain. :)

Most likely, i'd walk on nice days, drive on cold/rain days, and drive my pickup truck in the snow.
 
stilleto said:
I was lucky to have seen this right away, and develope a bullseye. I started on antibiotics within 2 days, but I have to admit that the site of the bullseye is still swollen and itchy.... 2 weeks later.
Click to expand...

That's good though. If there's still that much of a site reaction it means the Bb is still somewhat localized.
 
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