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I did.
Saw one while having dinner tonight. Nice enough guy. But a complete fucking nutjob. worse than me.
He was all the adjectives goldendelicious uses to describe himself when he is looking really reallllyyy good. But once the gut poking commenced.... dude was strange.
He liked poppers. Which I hate. Ok, I have to say something about poppers too... not only do I hate them but they are designed by sex Nazis. I mean, that little brown glass bottle is hard as hell to get the top off with one hand anyway, but when you got lube all over that one hand... fuck! And then when someone *cough*me*cough* is railing you from behind, I/they normally tend to not like your ass (literally) very much anyhow and I/we/they sort of wait until you get that bottle right under your to really pound you in hopes of the shit splashing in your nostril and making you pass out. So we can then leave your house with a few of your personal items too.
So anyway... I get him to put the stinking shit away and we get down to business. Sort of. Turns out the reason he likes poppers was not because it relaxed his sphincter muscles (they were relaxed enough to park a Cadillac in there) but because they left him light headed and dizzy. So he attempts to recreate that feeling by....
smothering himself with a bed pillow. No shit. Dude had both hands on the pillow and was pressing it as hard as he could over his face. Dude's knuckles were turning white from forcing the pillow around his face in an airtight death lock. My inquiries of "What the fuck you doing?" and "Dude, you ok?" were all met with the same response. "mmrrrrrrrmrrrrrr" "errr...rrrrrmmmmmrrrr"
Being the trooper that I was, I kept attempting to hit it but the third time his limp legs slid off my shoulders I was like "ok, this shit is for the birds. I'm outta here."
Anyway, did me a bunch of good to see this clown tonight. Let me know he hasn't offed himself in one of those bizarre autoeroticasphyxiation type ways.
Saw one while having dinner tonight. Nice enough guy. But a complete fucking nutjob. worse than me.
He was all the adjectives goldendelicious uses to describe himself when he is looking really reallllyyy good. But once the gut poking commenced.... dude was strange.
He liked poppers. Which I hate. Ok, I have to say something about poppers too... not only do I hate them but they are designed by sex Nazis. I mean, that little brown glass bottle is hard as hell to get the top off with one hand anyway, but when you got lube all over that one hand... fuck! And then when someone *cough*me*cough* is railing you from behind, I/they normally tend to not like your ass (literally) very much anyhow and I/we/they sort of wait until you get that bottle right under your to really pound you in hopes of the shit splashing in your nostril and making you pass out. So we can then leave your house with a few of your personal items too.
So anyway... I get him to put the stinking shit away and we get down to business. Sort of. Turns out the reason he likes poppers was not because it relaxed his sphincter muscles (they were relaxed enough to park a Cadillac in there) but because they left him light headed and dizzy. So he attempts to recreate that feeling by....
smothering himself with a bed pillow. No shit. Dude had both hands on the pillow and was pressing it as hard as he could over his face. Dude's knuckles were turning white from forcing the pillow around his face in an airtight death lock. My inquiries of "What the fuck you doing?" and "Dude, you ok?" were all met with the same response. "mmrrrrrrrmrrrrrr" "errr...rrrrrmmmmmrrrr"
Being the trooper that I was, I kept attempting to hit it but the third time his limp legs slid off my shoulders I was like "ok, this shit is for the birds. I'm outta here."
Anyway, did me a bunch of good to see this clown tonight. Let me know he hasn't offed himself in one of those bizarre autoeroticasphyxiation type ways.
