Domestic Violence

[vixenbabe]

Originally posted by Norman Bates

I guess i did never have to use violence myself because i don´t spend my time with people like that.
---------------------------------------------------------------

People like what? You , and maybe other's, are clueless if you think that these abusers are un-educated, bums or " white trash" men.

I see ALLLLLLL types of women , from allllll classes up in the shelter I offer my services too.

Sorry, this issue has no class boundries...It happens to the "best", "respected" families too.

 

[Norman Bates]

don´t use force, call the police if you have to, but don´t fight.

Since people obviously don´t bother to read what i wrote i´ll just repeat it here.

People like what? You , and maybe other's, are clueless if you think that these abusers are un-educated, bums or " white trash" men.

I keep away from people who are violent.It has nothing to do with class, you are right. As soon as people show that they are violent i start keeping away from them.

That is the same logic that the abuser uses - "She must like it otherwise she would leave me". She may love the guy but she damn well doesn't like what he turns in to.

I don´t think that she likes it, but it is her responsibility to care for herself. Maybe she wants to settle it by herself and she doesn´t want other people to get involved? Just rushing over and beating the other guy is a bad idea.

Will you find it in your heart to forgive me, Norman?

I keep away from violent and insulting people, so no.

Just like it is a retarded person's fault he is retarded.

Bad example, one thing happens due to genetics, the other thing is a decision that she made.

Why did I bother sticking to my pathetic morals?

Does your morale include start insulting other people because they don´t agree with you,too?

Now that I know this I can go on wiht my life and never worry about people to whom bad things are happening

As if i said that...

 

[jbauer]

Norman,
I dont think you are understanding the basic point, women who are beaten do not have the will power on thier own to leave a man who hits them. They get it into their head that they are at fault and that in some way is thier punishment, they dont consider it abuse. Usually these women have no self esteem and fear that no one else will love them. These women generally have just as many mental problems as the men who hit them.

Calling the cops could give her the initial push to give her strength to press charges and leave him. Where just talking to her........ she will probably lie and say something to the effect of "oh i just tripped" or "i did something wrong and i deserved it" if they actually admit what went on.

As for your statement " its her responsibility to take care of herself"......... Would you leave a child alone to take care of himself? NO thats considered child abuse. These women are like children. THEY NEED HELP. that is why there are womens shelters for those who do get the strenght and courage to leave. Mostly the strength and courage comes from someone else, esp. when they know the police are there for them if they need it.

 

[vixenbabe]

Norman, I'm not about bashing YOU!Trust me. ..I bashed one guy on here once and felt like shit about it after. I still feel bad about that day cuz it's NOT my nature to be nasty on here or in real life!

My point is that YOU may NOT know if the people you hang with are violent in nature or not. Abusers can be VERY tricky in masking the abuse they dole out to a family member.

There is a respected doctor at a local hospital here in NW Ohio who once beat the shit out of his wife when the mood struck him.He did" body shots" to her as the abuse would NOT be seen on her in the outside world!

I guess my point is...YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD BE AN ABUSER BY LOOKING AT THEM OR DEALING WITH THEM ON A DAILY BASIS!

No hate towards you...just wanted to point out YOU may be in the company of an abuser and NOT know it. This is a subject close too my heart and IS very important!

Peace to you sweetie...I hope that I did not come across AS TOO rude.

 

[bwood]

. About 5 times this past month I've been woken up to the sound of, "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, blah blah blah." This is all coming from the guy, and it's ALWAYS right around 3 AM. I suspect he's drunk at this time. The girl never yells back, but the guy constantly screams at her. It annoys the hell out of me for 2 reasons. 1) I need my sleep. 2) you shouldn't treat your gf like that no matter what. (i hate girls probably more than frackal but i would never pull shit like this headcase does).

So last night I wake up at about 4 AM to the same old shit and it's really pissing me off this time because I had just fallen asleep about an hour preceding their verbal argument. I hear his usual "fuck you fuck this" slander and lay there staring at the ceiling wondering if this chick is hot. All of a sudden I hear somethign hit the wall real hard and the guy yell, "How's that fuckin feel?" so obviously he shoved her. The girl says nothing, no retaliation whatsoever but the guy keeps on yelling so finally I pick up the phone to call the police. Then I realized that's not a good idea because they'd probably want to chat with me and my apt looks and smells like the inside of a Volkswagen bus at Woodstock if you know what I mean. Anyways, I ended up bouncing my basketball against the wall as hard as I could for a minute or two and the guy finally shutup.

Just a thought...how do you know that their not
just having rough sex? I have dated girls that
liked to be cursed at and slammed around. That's
the only way they could orgasm! Not my cup of tea
so I moved on, but it is a possibility!

 

[Norman Bates]

Norman,
I dont think you are understanding the basic point, women who are beaten do not have the will power on thier own to leave a man who hits them. They get it into their head that they are at fault and that in some way is thier punishment, they dont consider it abuse. Usually these women have no self esteem and fear that no one else will love them. These women generally have just as many mental problems as the men who hit them.

Calling the cops could give her the initial push to give her strength to press charges and leave him. Where just talking to her........ she will probably lie and say something to the effect of "oh i just tripped" or "i did something wrong and i deserved it" if they actually admit what went on.

As for your statement " its her responsibility to take care of herself"......... Would you leave a child alone to take care of himself? NO thats considered child abuse. These women are like children. THEY NEED HELP. that is why there are womens shelters for those who do get the strenght and courage to leave. Mostly the strength and courage comes from someone else, esp. when they know the police are there for them if they need it.

Good that we agree on calling the cops.

If they really have that low self esteem maybe you should try to convince them to call the cops by themselves, that would probably help them more than going over and beating their bf.
Or they should see a psychiatrist.

I think you should not compare a mature woman to a child.
It´s a good thing that there are these shelters, because when someone finally decides that she doesn´t deserve to be beaten she should get the opportunity to help herself.

I don´t think it´s a valid demand on someone to get into trouble,like the hash problem in the beginning, to help someone who could easily help herself. And without knowing if she wants help at all.

 

[Norman Bates]

My point is that YOU may NOT know if the people you hang with are violent in nature or not. Abusers can be VERY tricky in masking the abuse they dole out to a family member.

I guess my point is...YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD BE AN ABUSER BY LOOKING AT THEM OR DEALING WITH THEM ON A DAILY BASIS!

Any male i hang around with doesn´t use violence ever to solve problems or beats people that are weaker than himself.
They are all pacifists and don´t show violent behaviour.

Any woman i hang around with wouldn´t take shit like that.

Of course i don´t know for sure if i have violent friends, but the chances are really low.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Break her neck and shove her head further up her ass, and crush his torso until his ribs stick through his back.

Redemption day cometh.

 

[Lumberg]

Norman, I now see that you are a staunch, rugged individualist. "God helps those who help themselves," huh? All I can say is, it takes all kinds. I'll agree to disagree.

However, if you were a mechanic and saw a motorist stranded by the side of the road, and you decided to help her, would you a) give her some tools and drive off or b) fix the car for her?

(I know, you are probably not a mechanic, and you would not necessarily decide to help her, but IF this hypothetical situation were true)

JC

 

[Norman Bates]

If it had no bad consequences for me i would help her/him.
If i was in a hurry for something important to me i´d probably stop and ask her if she/he needs a telephone.

The first post includes that if he helped the girl he could get into trouble with the police.
I wouldn´t go that far to risk myself in situation where she could easily help herself. An anonymous phone call wouldn´t be trouble, so that would be ok.
Going over and punching her bf would be trouble with the police and result in more trouble with the cannabis.

Another difference to the analogy you provided is that the person in your story is not able to help her/himself for some reason.
In the original post she could easily help herself.