Domestic Violence

[WormAAA77]

I live in an upscale apt complex but the majority of the people here are college students. That's not really relative, I just felt like sharing it. The past month or so the guy and girl (i believe they're dating) constantly fight. I'm one of those people that have a terrible time getting sleep so when I do manage to get some good sleep I value it. About 5 times this past month I've been woken up to the sound of, "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, blah blah blah." This is all coming from the guy, and it's ALWAYS right around 3 AM. I suspect he's drunk at this time. The girl never yells back, but the guy constantly screams at her. It annoys the hell out of me for 2 reasons. 1) I need my sleep. 2) you shouldn't treat your gf like that no matter what. (i hate girls probably more than frackal but i would never pull shit like this headcase does).

So last night I wake up at about 4 AM to the same old shit and it's really pissing me off this time because I had just fallen asleep about an hour preceding their verbal argument. I hear his usual "fuck you fuck this" slander and lay there staring at the ceiling wondering if this chick is hot. All of a sudden I hear somethign hit the wall real hard and the guy yell, "How's that fuckin feel?" so obviously he shoved her. The girl says nothing, no retaliation whatsoever but the guy keeps on yelling so finally I pick up the phone to call the police. Then I realized that's not a good idea because they'd probably want to chat with me and my apt looks and smells like the inside of a Volkswagen bus at Woodstock if you know what I mean. Anyways, I ended up bouncing my basketball against the wall as hard as I could for a minute or two and the guy finally shutup.

Obviously this is going to happen again and I feel bad for the girl so what should I do? Can you call the cops and report it anonymously or will they want to speak with me? The last thing I need is a pissed off psycho neighbor.

 

[starfish]

Maybe talk to the girl when no one else is around..See if she is in over her head.

Or if you think he is hurting her... Go down the street to a pay phone and call the cops. You don't have to leave your name.

 

[Zirakzigil]

Talking to the girl = a bad idea. You don't know this guy, or anything about him, and you don't know anything about their relationship. She probably LOVES him, as stupid as that sounds, and she'll tell him and he'll get pissed at you and might do something stupid.

Just go down the street to a pay phone and call the cops, or do it from a cell phone and say you were just passing by.

 

[Temple]

Call the police, call and call and call and call some more if you have to.

 

[big4life]

Call the police, call and call and call and call some more if you have to.

Call the police.


How would you feel if that was your sister and somebody knew something was going on but was afraid to get her help?

 

[starfish]

Talking to the girl = a bad idea. You don't know this guy, or anything about him, and you don't know anything about their relationship. She probably LOVES him, as stupid as that sounds, and she'll tell him and he'll get pissed at you and might do something stupid.

I disagree... Someone talking to me probably saved my life.




Just use your gut, every situation is different. Call the cops.

 

[KA-BAR]

Next time they fight I would go knock on there door and tell him you can hear everything that is going on and if the shit dont stop you are going to call the cops. If the chick is hot just ask her what she is doing with an asshole like him. YOu might want to hid a club somewhere near by incase you need it.

 

[the People's Champ]

its not your business if they argue. but it is if you can HEAR them through your bedroom wall at 4am. that is just bullshit. I would confront them, and if that doesn't help, then call the cops. what about reporting them to the landlord? what would result form that?

 

[BigGuns2]

Shove an anonymous letter under their door saying that you can hear everything that goes on when they argue and that if it doesn't stop you'll call the cops. The guy really deserves to have his ass kicked for hitting a girl. If you push *67 before you dial, that blocks caller id. I don't know if that would work calling 911 however.

 

[smokinghawk]

Shove an anonymous letter under their door saying that you can hear everything that goes on when they argue and that if it doesn't stop you'll call the cops. The guy really deserves to have his ass kicked for hitting a girl. If you push *67 before you dial, that blocks caller id. I don't know if that would work calling 911 however.

I don't think that would work. If I were an abuser, I'd either blame her ("Now look what you've done!" even if it's MY fault), or I start making plans to relocate somewhere where I could get away with it.

I'd suggest calling the police on each occasino, even though she likely will not press charges at first. Each subsequent call establishes a report on their situation that can later be used to protect her in court, if necessary, by prioving she's not just making up claims against him.

And screw the cop who gripes, "I'm tired of coming out to this same house over and over." So? It's your job, man.

If you really think you have the right advice to help her, and you're willing to be involved, you might consider telling her in private something as simple as, "You're going through some rough times, from what I can hear from my place. If you'd ever like to talk, I'll keep your privacy."

Contact your local DV shelter if you want someone to help you get more advice on what to say and suggest.