Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below I could never leave my family or his family. In an odd way I feel that I owe them something. I have wanted to move to virginia for years now but never could do it. Maybe it is different because my kids are the only grandchildren and I could never take them from the family like that. Maybe if I did not have kids it would be different, I dont know. I cannot imagine being without my family though because to be 100% honest here my mom in law is my best friend. I can tell her anything even rotten shit about her own son,lol..And she is always there to listen and give great advice. I love my own ma and live a few blocks away and still call her daily. I just love my parents maybe it is a form of seperation anxiety I dont know, but I dont think I could ever leave them.
Detaching yourself from everything
- Thread starter swole
- Start date
swole said:things are getting sticky
fucking curveball fellas, i can't explain right now
it's good tho. things are good
it really takes balls to make yourself happy, i truly believe that
and no, not going anywhere just yet
Glad thngs are good for ya!
Keep us posted bro.
Tatyana said:
Twice over immigrant
I had to set up house for myself in England.
It was a bit scary at first, but it really has been the most amazing experience, and one tough cookie now because of it.
I know I can deal with anything.
You look like a tough cookie too
GoldenDelicious
New member
im living what yorue talking about.
grew up in a town of 100 000 people. related to half the city. knew people everywhere i went. did a pharmacy degree, and so was expected to be a pharmacist, get a job, a wife, a house, have kids - the usual greek/italian expectation thing. any deviation from what my family thought i should be doing was wrong. go out friday AND saturday night? you shouldnt do that. isnt once a week enough? how about once every 2 weeks instead. chase skanky girls? you shouldnt do that. guys like you are supposed to meet a nice girl and settle down. work a full time job? get a better one. own a pharmacy. sacrifice "just one or 2 years of your life to set yourself up" - except you know that "one or 2 years" actually stretches into "forever - dont stop now!"
so you end up living your life according to some script that you didnt write - and having a personality that was conforming to that script - you supress what/how you really think and build an entirely new personality to stuff yourself into - a big, fake, social construct taht you use to deal with the world - and you try to get used to the feeling in your gut that somethign is wrong
so i made a decision to be different - to be myself - and everyone freaked. they wouldnt accept it. i got massive resistence from my family and friends, who piled guilt galore on me to keep me in place - to keep me living my life according to taht fucking script. the phrases "your expectations are too high" "why cant you just do what your cousins/friends did?" "you have big fantasies, why dont you just focus on being a pharmacist instead" "why are you acting like this? this isnt you, this is an act" - so you try to be this new person, but because of all the resistence, you dont get to have enough experiences as that new person to make him real - you spend all your time fighting off this endless barrage of people trying to keep you in your place - a place that YOU didnt fucking pick
- anyway because i couldnt reprogram everyone to think and treat me differently, i left. i moved 3200km away, to a city of a million people, where i could be who i wanted to be, do what i wanted to do, and actually have some experiences as that new person which would consolidate that new personality, and so ive gone from being a modelsty socialized, reaction seeking, needy frustrated person to being someone completely different. im not unhappy anymore. i dont get angry anymore. instead of watching the guys in the club that i wanted to be like, i AM that guy - and in my infrequent trips back to my home town, the guys i used to want to be like look at me and want to be me, because ive well and truly eclipsed them
if i were you, id totally do it, even for just a little while. i cant describe how liberating and empowering it is. you really do take your life back. you chop away all those bullshit elements to your personality that you only ever put on to suit your family/friends, and because yorue closer to your true personality, you cant help but be a lot happier
i mean, i used to be a pharmacist - respected and respectable. now im a dickhead DJ/doorbitch doing a construction project (that most peopel dont know about) and half my family is embarrassed about it all, and thinks its a crying shame - but at the end of the day, i spend my time laughing my ass off, work doesnt feel like work its just a laugh (but they give me lots of money for it) i have lots of sex with lots of girls, and im poised to make more money than i should have seen in a decade, in the next year.
the last 15 months have truly been the happiest of my life.
grew up in a town of 100 000 people. related to half the city. knew people everywhere i went. did a pharmacy degree, and so was expected to be a pharmacist, get a job, a wife, a house, have kids - the usual greek/italian expectation thing. any deviation from what my family thought i should be doing was wrong. go out friday AND saturday night? you shouldnt do that. isnt once a week enough? how about once every 2 weeks instead. chase skanky girls? you shouldnt do that. guys like you are supposed to meet a nice girl and settle down. work a full time job? get a better one. own a pharmacy. sacrifice "just one or 2 years of your life to set yourself up" - except you know that "one or 2 years" actually stretches into "forever - dont stop now!"
so you end up living your life according to some script that you didnt write - and having a personality that was conforming to that script - you supress what/how you really think and build an entirely new personality to stuff yourself into - a big, fake, social construct taht you use to deal with the world - and you try to get used to the feeling in your gut that somethign is wrong
so i made a decision to be different - to be myself - and everyone freaked. they wouldnt accept it. i got massive resistence from my family and friends, who piled guilt galore on me to keep me in place - to keep me living my life according to taht fucking script. the phrases "your expectations are too high" "why cant you just do what your cousins/friends did?" "you have big fantasies, why dont you just focus on being a pharmacist instead" "why are you acting like this? this isnt you, this is an act" - so you try to be this new person, but because of all the resistence, you dont get to have enough experiences as that new person to make him real - you spend all your time fighting off this endless barrage of people trying to keep you in your place - a place that YOU didnt fucking pick
- anyway because i couldnt reprogram everyone to think and treat me differently, i left. i moved 3200km away, to a city of a million people, where i could be who i wanted to be, do what i wanted to do, and actually have some experiences as that new person which would consolidate that new personality, and so ive gone from being a modelsty socialized, reaction seeking, needy frustrated person to being someone completely different. im not unhappy anymore. i dont get angry anymore. instead of watching the guys in the club that i wanted to be like, i AM that guy - and in my infrequent trips back to my home town, the guys i used to want to be like look at me and want to be me, because ive well and truly eclipsed them
if i were you, id totally do it, even for just a little while. i cant describe how liberating and empowering it is. you really do take your life back. you chop away all those bullshit elements to your personality that you only ever put on to suit your family/friends, and because yorue closer to your true personality, you cant help but be a lot happier
i mean, i used to be a pharmacist - respected and respectable. now im a dickhead DJ/doorbitch doing a construction project (that most peopel dont know about) and half my family is embarrassed about it all, and thinks its a crying shame - but at the end of the day, i spend my time laughing my ass off, work doesnt feel like work its just a laugh (but they give me lots of money for it) i have lots of sex with lots of girls, and im poised to make more money than i should have seen in a decade, in the next year.
the last 15 months have truly been the happiest of my life.
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