Deodorant

[Nathan]

I molest rhinocerii....seriously...they kind of like it. I once saw a video clip of a rhinoceros that was really horny because the rhino in the next pen was in heat and so the male rhino began copulating with a rock. Now, in all fairness, it was a pretty fucking sexy rock but still. The zoo keepers started to panic and took immediate evasive action because they were pretty sure the rhino would damage his reproductive organs if they couldn't get a female in there asap. That's super intelligence for you right there. Were it me, I'd probably skip the whole rock fucking scenario and just plain try and tug my penis right the fuck off. Problem solved. There does not exist a better solution to any problem than tugging one's penis off. No sir. Notta one. At least the other rhinos wouldn't tease me for fucking rocks anyways, which is really hard to handle emotionally...trust me. I once molested a rock and humped it with my more than just a little flacid penis. The other children teased me not because I was fucking a rock, but rather because I wasn't doing it right on account of my penis being limp. Good times. Not really actually...I still cry myself to sleep every night thinking about that. I have to go now.

 

[Nathan]

I like chesterfields so don't ignore me dammit.

 

[SCOTTY-TWO-HOTTY]

LOL!!!Oh fuck man!!! Fell out of my chair reading that shit.

For the record... I voted you the funniest member here BEFORE I read this post. The Panda story is still the champ Nate!

 

[BuzzyBee]

i sexed up a robins egg once

 

[WODIN]

Rhinos are my favorite animal.

 

[HappyScrappy]

to be fair, I don't think rhinos are known to have the best eyesight, nor are they thought to be all that bright.
a big rock might sort of look like a sexy female rhino.
or maybe he was just into the kinky shit.
after all, they are in prison - and you know what dudes in our penal system do.

 

[supertech69]

Nothing like a morning laugh to make you spill your coffee!

 

[supersizeme]

it has always been my own personal dream to one day have a different rock every night of the week. this is of course after i am able to eat an entire bedsheet.
i also wonder if anyone really does actually fall out of their chair when they say that they did. immediately when i read that someone says they fell out of their chair or spit milk out of their noise, i have to try and visualize it. i mean i've read some funny shit on here, don't get me wrong, but i've never actually physically compromised myself as a result of it. i usually give a snort and a smile when someone busts a quality funny, but it's rare that i'll actually bust out laughing and start rolling around on the floor. i usually reserve the rolling around on the floor for our company-wide "act like you're burning to death" hour here at work daily from 9:30-10:30am.

 

[havoc]

Milk out of noise is something isnt it?

 

[supersizeme]

do i have to make a few phone calls to the city of houston, mr. bout to get his block knocked off?