Can you ever really recover from a broken heart?

[vinylgroover]

No no, not silly at all. What if her doubts and fears about the relationship ARE in fact weighing on you and you're fighting so hard for her you dont realize you are being held back? Sometimes the reality comes into play that what we want...doesn't want us back. Which means we can't have what we want. The way I see it, if she's making excuses or tossing out doubts and fears, she's not ready to commit to you. "Being at different places in life" is an excuse. I've found where the direct truth would be the easiest solution....it never seems to be what comes out. Therefore, you're left on an emotional rollercoaster wondering "what if", "why", "how can I", "maybe if"...etc. Now, though what I say may seem applicable, it still doesn't dismiss the love you have in your heart for her. I wish I could offer a solution to get over that but ...that's where the "ugh" factor comes into play. Truth is, when someone is pushing you away...your efforts are really worthless. (not to sound abrasive or harsh....but i've been there so I can empathize)

That's a pretty accurate summation of the way i'm reading it too.

It's hard, because we started out casual and we connected immediately and she pulled away after 3 months because by her own admission, she told me she would fall in love with me and couldn't let herself because she couldn't see a long term future for us and was scared of getting hurt. After just being friends for 4 months, we then gave it another try just as casual, but we made an agreement that we would continue looking for our ultimate long term partner who better suited our individual situation. It's been a year since we started seeing each other intimately again when 2 weeks ago she told me she met someone who may be good for her......he's 42 single, doesn't want kids.

I thought my feelings were under control, but that's when my real feelings hit me like a ton of bricks. That's when i told her how i felt and that i wanted to fight for her. I don't think she will pursue this guy, but she said irrespective of that, she still had too many doubts about us longer term and that while she cares for me very deeply, she feels my feelings are much stronger than hers.

I keep thinking back to the first time when she pulled back and told me she was falling in love with me........

 

[PICK3]

I thought my feelings were under control, but that's when my real feelings hit me like a ton of bricks. That's when i told her how i felt and that i wanted to fight for her. I don't think she will pursue this guy, but she said irrespective of that, she still had too many doubts about us longer term and that while she cares for me very deeply, she feels my feelings are much stronger than hers.

I keep thinking back to the first time when she pulled back and told me she was falling in love with me........

Dude, you've got it bad!!!

 

[awittyusername]

That's a pretty accurate summation of the way i'm reading it too.

It's hard, because we started out casual and we connected immediately and she pulled away after 3 months because by her own admission, she told me she would fall in love with me and couldn't let herself because she couldn't see a long term future for us and was scared of getting hurt. After just being friends for 4 months, we then gave it another try just as casual, but we made an agreement that we would continue looking for our ultimate long term partner who better suited our individual situation. It's been a year since we started seeing each other intimately again when 2 weeks ago she told me she met someone who may be good for her......he's 42 single, doesn't want kids.

I thought my feelings were under control, but that's when my real feelings hit me like a ton of bricks. That's when i told her how i felt and that i wanted to fight for her. I don't think she will pursue this guy, but she said irrespective of that, she still had too many doubts about us longer term and that while she cares for me very deeply, she feels my feelings are much stronger than hers.

I keep thinking back to the first time when she pulled back and told me she was falling in love with me........

Damn bro...We have all been there before.

I give her credit for being honest and upfront with you. She isn't playing games to have both you compete for her. Damn. I love older women.

 

[habitualhealth]

That's a pretty accurate summation of the way i'm reading it too.

It's hard, because we started out casual and we connected immediately and she pulled away after 3 months because by her own admission, she told me she would fall in love with me and couldn't let herself because she couldn't see a long term future for us and was scared of getting hurt. After just being friends for 4 months, we then gave it another try just as casual, but we made an agreement that we would continue looking for our ultimate long term partner who better suited our individual situation. It's been a year since we started seeing each other intimately again when 2 weeks ago she told me she met someone who may be good for her......he's 42 single, doesn't want kids.

I thought my feelings were under control, but that's when my real feelings hit me like a ton of bricks. That's when i told her how i felt and that i wanted to fight for her. I don't think she will pursue this guy, but she said irrespective of that, she still had too many doubts about us longer term and that while she cares for me very deeply, she feels my feelings are much stronger than hers.

I keep thinking back to the first time when she pulled back and told me she was falling in love with me........

The more times she "takes a step back" the more you hurt. You have to turn selfish mode on for a second and see how your mind and heart are being effected...affected? dang it's too late for me to red pen my work...lol

When you lose sight of yourself, you lose sight of everything. It's SO hard to get out of a situation like that. But i can assure you, if you continue to allow her to reject you (on whatever level) you are only allowing her to create more insecurites for you. You know what you have to offer, what you bring to the table....if she doesn't see that and want it after a year, it might just be best for you to move on. Again, that whole "moving on" process was always the stick in the spoke for me. You can't help but love who you love.

 

[JThompson24]

so how does she feel about you

 

[Dial_tone]

I've been there with ya....3 times I'm sad to say.

 

[Eringobraugh]

No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in trenchtown,
Oba - obaserving the ’ypocrites
As they would mingle with the good people we meet.
Good friends we have, oh, good friends we’ve lost
Along the way.
In this great future, you can’t forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh.

No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.

Everything’s gonna be all right!
I said, everything’s gonna be all right-a!
Everything’s gonna be all right!
Everything’s gonna be all right, now!
Everything’s gonna be all right!

 

[JayC9]

Don't forget the kitty can also heal, what kills you can also cure you, i got over my ex by hitting as much kitty as possible trying to remind myself of the advantages of being single again. It won't take away the hurt but it can certainly help take your mind off it.

 

[Eringobraugh]

Sex is overrated, most guys by the time you hit 32 grow out of the novelty of hitting kitty all the time, its like by that point theyve had so much it isnt anything new. Just takes time and distance

 

[Lestat]

been there before man, I can sympathize. Nothing I ever found made it feel any better... except her.