Can you ever really recover from a broken heart?

[Gymgurl]

Okay let me tell you this from a MILFS point of view lol.....

The one thing that nobody mentioned....is that you both agreed to get back together but would still look for someone who fit your needs better....she found that. She didn't do anything wrong but do what you guys had agreed to...I know that it is really hard for you right now...but she warned you the first time you broke up...I would walk away...if you push she will be done with you....if you walk away she will want you more....just my ho

 

[patsfan1379]

until you find someone else. no. you wont get over it completely.

 

[split endz]

I'm glad I read this, some good stuff in here & I am going thru some shite myself right now. slat said something great in his post " do good things, and good things will come to you" great advice. Vinyl: I have respect for you man. You being 32 and willing to make a strong commitment to someone 10 yrs older w/kids... total respect, I believe you love her. I am so arrogant, that I won't date anyone older, so what do I get? Freaking heartache from girls in their 20's who don't have a clue who they are or what they want. My best advice: Be strong. Stop calling her for awhile. Make her wonder what is going on in your head. Give her the gift of missing you. Be somewhat elusive, as if your life is moving ahead, even if it isn't. Don't always be there when she calls. Hard advice, but true. She has all the power now, those actions are the only way you may regain some power for yourself. Power attracts women. When you have some power, then start to deal with her again and see what happens.

 

[habitualhealth]

I'm glad I read this, some good stuff in here & I am going thru some shite myself right now. slat said something great in his post " do good things, and good things will come to you" great advice. Vinyl: I have respect for you man. You being 32 and willing to make a strong commitment to someone 10 yrs older w/kids... total respect, I believe you love her. I am so arrogant, that I won't date anyone older, so what do I get? Freaking heartache from girls in their 20's who don't have a clue who they are or what they want. My best advice: Be strong. Stop calling her for awhile. Make her wonder what is going on in your head. Give her the gift of missing you. Be somewhat elusive, as if your life is moving ahead, even if it isn't. Don't always be there when she calls. Hard advice, but true. She has all the power now, those actions are the only way you may regain some power for yourself. Power attracts women. When you have some power, then start to deal with her again and see what happens.

What happens when he does this though, and she plays the field, gets to have to her cake and eat it too...realizes he really IS the one AFTER the other relationships fail....then comes back. He knows how he feels for her in his heart....is he suppose to allow the vicious cycle to continue or tell her once and for all to shit or get off the pot? When u are truly IN LOVE with someone, you tend to take a hell of a beating in situations like this. Though I agree with you on the "missing factor"...let her wonder what you're up to...blah blah....BUT, fact is, he's going to be the one wondering, having sleepless nights, aching and hurting for her. I think it's only going to do him more damage. I guess I see the world from two stand points...black or white. No gray matter. Either she steps to the plate and sees what he's all about and realizes she's got a diamond...OR....she walks away from him for good. The stringing people along thing is for the birds. If he does what you're suggesting above...it's almost as if he's giving her permission to mind eff him. Like "hey sure, it's ok...go do your thing because no matter what you do, i love you SO much that I'm still going to be here waiting". That's horse crap. He needs to be selfish and decide if his needs are being met. Is he happy? Does he see a constant longevity factor with her going forward? Patterns continue to repeat themselves. Love can be the greatest experience in the world or the most pain you've ever endured.

As broken down as he is, it sounds like to be he's actually the strongest one in the situation. 32 is still young enough to get control of your life.

So, do you count your losses and move on to uncertainty? Or maintain a "comfort zone" and continue the emotional rollercoaster?

 

[split endz]

HH, I like your posts in this thread (except the last one... it's just ok). Maybe my last sentence ".. and see what happens", threw you off. My advice was not to try to afford VG some continuation in this ordeal, simply on how to retain some dignity concerning his actions. Telling someone to "shit or get off the pot" is pretty good advice, but re-read VG's post, he's not in a place mentally or emotionally to say that to her.. he is in love. Yes, try to move on, just do it with some dignity.

 

[patsfan1379]

What happens when he does this though, and she plays the field, gets to have to her cake and eat it too...realizes he really IS the one AFTER the other relationships fail....then comes back. He knows how he feels for her in his heart....is he suppose to allow the vicious cycle to continue or tell her once and for all to shit or get off the pot? When u are truly IN LOVE with someone, you tend to take a hell of a beating in situations like this. Though I agree with you on the "missing factor"...let her wonder what you're up to...blah blah....BUT, fact is, he's going to be the one wondering, having sleepless nights, aching and hurting for her. I think it's only going to do him more damage. I guess I see the world from two stand points...black or white. No gray matter. Either she steps to the plate and sees what he's all about and realizes she's got a diamond...OR....she walks away from him for good. The stringing people along thing is for the birds. If he does what you're suggesting above...it's almost as if he's giving her permission to mind eff him. Like "hey sure, it's ok...go do your thing because no matter what you do, i love you SO much that I'm still going to be here waiting". That's horse crap. He needs to be selfish and decide if his needs are being met. Is he happy? Does he see a constant longevity factor with her going forward? Patterns continue to repeat themselves. Love can be the greatest experience in the world or the most pain you've ever endured.

As broken down as he is, it sounds like to be he's actually the strongest one in the situation. 32 is still young enough to get control of your life.

So, do you count your losses and move on to uncertainty? Or maintain a "comfort zone" and continue the emotional rollercoaster?

standing fucking ovation.

best advice of the month right there bro.

 

[habitualhealth]

HH, I like your posts in this thread (except the last one... it's just ok). Maybe my last sentence ".. and see what happens", threw you off. My advice was not to try to afford VG some continuation in this ordeal, simply on how to retain some dignity concerning his actions. Telling someone to "shit or get off the pot" is pretty good advice, but re-read VG's post, he's not in a place mentally or emotionally to say that to her.. he is in love. Yes, try to move on, just do it with some dignity.

Word. I know where you were going...(sometimes i hate clicking reply to someone's post cuz i go off on my own tangents.) I guess I can empathize with where he is NOW....and know how easily and quickly he, i, you, peeps can get sucked into the roller coaster mind f'k I mentioned before. True love is SO powerful, can be the best cure or the worst weapon. Grrrr. I'm going to start an anti-love org on here. You wanna join?

His wound is definitely still fresh....but if he takes the necessary measures today to begin the healing process...perhaps this time next year he'll still have his heart (all mended and touchable) to give to someone deserving going forward.

I promote getting off the pot. (just not sure how to tell him to do that so my advice kinda sucks)

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

I have my health, close family and friends..........so why then does it make me feel so empty?

Being forced to walk away from someone you love so much can really be soul destroying. At 32, it really bites hard.........especially when you can't imagine yourself with anyone else. Damn this.

I walked away at 24.

I've moved on, but I don't forget. I will always wish her well, and think of her from time to time. She's married now, the past is exactly that.

You should never forget people you care about. If they forget about you, it is to their discredit.

Time is the only healer. But it cannot start until you let it.

 

[buffer1]

I walked away at 24.

I've moved on, but I don't forget. I will always wish her well, and think of her from time to time. She's married now, the past is exactly that.

You should never forget people you care about. If they forget about you, it is to their discredit.

Time is the only healer. But it cannot start until you let it.

agree,awesome post

 

[habitualhealth]

standing fucking ovation.

best advice of the month right there bro.

Hah, i just took a double take...was like "he sure he quoted the right person"? haha Thanks for that.


Well, I would feel guilty if I didnt offer my opinion on a matter that hit very close to home. Although, it's up to him to make his own decisions...sometimes we are easily blinded by the love we feel when it's really the pain we feel that we should be focused on eliminating.