Can you ever really recover from a broken heart?

[vinylgroover]

habitual, split enz, matt,

thanks for your words.

The last time i spoke to her was a week ago Last Tuesday night when she called and told me she couldn't see a future for us. I spoke with one of her good friends who told me that she wasn't really connecting with this new guy she met. I sensed that anyway, because when we spoke on Tuesday, she told me that irrespective of whether the new guy worked or not, she still had too many doubts over us as a long term couple anyway given our stages in life. She then told me that she would leave it up to me to decide on whether i wanted any contact with her. I told her i felt there was nothing more i could say or do to erase her doubts and told her i wished her happiness and that i loved her and that i would speak to her soon, to which she said she looked forward to it. It's been a week now since we spoke last Tuesday and i haven't called her.......i want to, but don't feel i could handle it.

The pain and feelings of loss comes in waves. I may feel ok for a little bit and then the anxiety and feelings of loss hit me.....as it's doing now.

She is constantly on my mind......as much as i try to distract myself.

 

[Lestat]

you sound a LOT like me this time last year

 

[vinylgroover]

you sound a LOT like me this time last year

I've got it pretty bad my friend. It's hard when part of your mind wants to move on, but another part won't let you and keeps holding onto the pain by reminding you of how much you lover her

 

[The Merovingian]

do not call.

 

[awittyusername]

I've got it pretty bad my friend. It's hard when part of your mind wants to move on, but another part won't let you and keeps holding onto the pain by reminding you of how much you lover her

Bro, I have had the luck of being dumped hard in my younger yrs. I say luck, because even though it was hard...I learned so much. Now, I have even more to offer to someone.

I do disagree with people telling you to find someone else, or you won't feel better until you find someone, etc. People need to learn to be happy with themselves...not try to be happy from someone else.

 

[The Merovingian]

true... but after something like that its pretty damned tough.

im not saying find someone as the only means to make you happy....

but it does help;.

 

[vinylgroover]

I do disagree with people telling you to find someone else, or you won't feel better until you find someone, etc. People need to learn to be happy with themselves...not try to be happy from someone else.

witty, as most here know, i'm a generally positive person.......i am happy in myself and for that matter have been happily single for some time by choice.........but in this woman, i found someone that made me even happier.....someone who makes me want to give all of myself to, and that's why i feel such great loss

 

[awittyusername]

witty, as most here know, i'm a generally positive person.......i am happy in myself and for that matter have been happily single for some time by choice.........but in this woman, i found someone that made me even happier.....someone who makes me want to give all of myself to, and that's why i feel such great loss

Sounds like you are more mature and ready than most. I'm sure you will meet someone else who makes you feel the same as she did. (maybe more)

 

[habitualhealth]

I've got it pretty bad my friend. It's hard when part of your mind wants to move on, but another part won't let you and keeps holding onto the pain by reminding you of how much you lover her

Shouldn't the pain be a reminder of the re-dedication you need to make to gaining back your sanity in life though? How much pain do you need to feel before you realize that true love would never produce that outcome?

 

[habitualhealth]

true... but after something like that its pretty damned tough.

im not saying find someone as the only means to make you happy....

but it does help;.

Could help...but in the mental disfunction that he's in right now...is it fair for him to do the same thing to someone else, that she's doing to him? It's a vicious cycle thus why so many men/women have a bitter taste toward committment and relationships.

If you can't be ultimately happy with yourself...alone...how can you possibly expect someone else to be happy with you?