Can the ladies explain this to me?

[Whiskey]

Maybe your breath stinks and you're not aware of it? Bad breath and you don't get a 2nd date.

Anug. I think that's how you spell it. I "ONCE" went out with a girl who's breath was SO nasty, I had to keep rolling down the window. It's nasty. Anug isn't a good thing. She didnt' know she had it

Whiskey

 

[javaguru]

Jesus

Umm, just my opinion mind you, but you're offending them or freaking them out somehow.

If they really liked you/were attracted to you they wouldn't duck you that bad. The only time I ever iced guys like that was when a) they were a sloppy octopus on the first date b) they were talking about being in love with me/marriage/kids ... on the first date.

Intensity, passion, that's one thing, I've never avoided a man who had zest for life and made it very clear he found me attractive. I have run like hell from guys who seemed like they could become obsessed nutjobs with very little encouragement.

Well, they're not like direct e-mails addressing the issue, just general "How ya doing." I figure that if they aren't mature enough to give me a call saying "I don't think it's going to work." Then they probably wouldn't give me a straight answer anyway. Trust me, I've analyzed myself thoroughly and come to the conclusion I'm not doing things that are obviously wrong/creepy/clingy. this has been reinforced by some of what women have volunteered. Like, I'm too desirable and they're afraid I would cheat, They want a less attractive guy so they have "hand"..that kind of stuff. It just boggles my mind....

 

[musclemom]

Well, they're not like direct e-mails addressing the issue, just general "How ya doing." I figure that if they aren't mature enough to give me a call saying "I don't think it's going to work." Then they probably wouldn't give me a straight answer anyway. Trust me, I've analyzed myself thoroughly and come to the conclusion I'm not doing things that are obviously wrong/creepy/clingy. this has been reinforced by some of what women have volunteered. Like, I'm too desirable and they're afraid I would cheat, They want a less attractive guy so they have "hand"..that kind of stuff. It just boggles my mind....

Assuming this was stated by at least 3 or more women ... your eyes might wander too much (literally). Generally speaking a woman doesn't think you're a player unless you give her a reason to THINK you're a player. You're doing something, body language, verbally, eyes, something is throwing up a very BIG stop sign.

I think this "You're too attractive for me," could possibly be a VERY nice way of saying, "Jesus, you're hot, you're sweet, you're smart and I'm so terrified that I'm going to fall in love with you and you're going to hurt me because I'm sitting here at dinner and you're sitting across from me and you keep glancing over at that hot waitress." And scientists have discovered that some men do look at other women without even being aware of it.

I mean, who the hell thinks a guy is too attractive? C'mon. Let's be practical here.

I had a brief thing with a ummm, gorgeous guy. We had awesome chemistry ... I could have fallen so very hard for him. Right up front he told me he had no interest in monogamy, and yet in the next sentence he told me he hadn't met a woman he felt he could be so honest with ... it was very hard. I was much younger then, more resilient. The idea of having a summer fling-only with a guy I found unbearably attractive was much more appealing when I was 18. 22 years later, I just don't think I could bear crying for 12 hours straight again. The agony and the ecstasy, so to speak.

And the other thing, you could subconsciously be picking the same type of woman over and over again and not even be aware of it. Without knowing you or the ladies, it's a tough call.

 

[javaguru]

Assuming this was stated by at least 3 or more women ... your eyes might wander too much (literally). Generally speaking a woman doesn't think you're a player unless you give her a reason to THINK you're a player. You're doing something, body language, verbally, eyes, something is throwing up a very BIG stop sign.

I think this "You're too attractive for me," could possibly be a VERY nice way of saying, "Jesus, you're hot, you're sweet, you're smart and I'm so terrified that I'm going to fall in love with you and you're going to hurt me because I'm sitting here at dinner and you're sitting across from me and you keep glancing over at that hot waitress." And scientists have discovered that some men do look at other women without even being aware of it.

I mean, who the hell thinks a guy is too attractive? C'mon. Let's be practical here.

I had a brief thing with a ummm, gorgeous guy. We had awesome chemistry ... I could have fallen so very hard for him. Right up front he told me he had no interest in monogamy, and yet in the next sentence he told me he hadn't met a woman he felt he could be so honest with ... it was very hard. I was much younger then, more resilient. The idea of having a summer fling-only with a guy I found unbearably attractive was much more appealing when I was 18. 22 years later, I just don't think I could bear crying for 12 hours straight again. The agony and the ecstasy, so to speak.

And the other thing, you could subconsciously be picking the same type of woman over and over again and not even be aware of it. Without knowing you or the ladies, it's a tough call.

This stuff only seems to happen with the one's I REALLY connect with, 99.9% of my dates are very normal. I don't have a wandering eye, some of my dates have pointed out the fact they like I give them 100% attention. These are literally dates where we have common values, beliefs and literally finish each others thoughts and sentences. Thinking back, the one woman did make the comment, "Maybe we're too much alike for this to work." I thought she was half joking when she said it but that may have been her actual feelings on the matter. Of the two most recent, One sent me a text on my phone telling me sweet dreams and what a great time she had. The other sent me an e-mail the next day and wrote the same.

 

[silverbackn]

No, it happens. I've been there. They aren't ready and would likely end up hurting & fooling you if they forced themselves to be in something they weren't ready for. I did this to someone. I tried, but I wasn't ready for the love he wanted to give me. Yes, it had to do with some drama I experienced. I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. I took myself out of the dating game for awhile and didn't return until I was ready.

Java, if they are running away, its a good thing. They aren't ready to give themselves to you, to love you, and to be completely raw & honest.

Yep, I totally agree!

 

[musclemom]

This stuff only seems to happen with the one's I REALLY connect with, 99.9% of my dates are very normal. I don't have a wandering eye, some of my dates have pointed out the fact they like I give them 100% attention. These are literally dates where we have common values, beliefs and literally finish each others thoughts and sentences. Thinking back, the one woman did make the comment, "Maybe we're too much alike for this to work." I thought she was half joking when she said it but that may have been her actual feelings on the matter. Of the two most recent, One sent me a text on my phone telling me sweet dreams and what a great time she had. The other sent me an e-mail the next day and wrote the same.

That could be a very telling thing.

There's this STUPID, STUPID myth that "opposites attract." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Oh, they do attract, but they don't last. People who are extremely ALIKE, shared values, shared point of view, THAT's the relationship that will last (that's what EHarmony is all about!)

Have you ever been married before? Sorry, that's too much. The reason I ask is that when a guy gets to be over 30 you start wondering if he's never been married WHY hasn't he been married, as well.

 

[javaguru]

That could be a very telling thing.

There's this STUPID, STUPID myth that "opposites attract." WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Oh, they do attract, but they don't last. People who are extremely ALIKE, shared values, shared point of view, THAT's the relationship that will last (that's what EHarmony is all about!)

Have you ever been married before?

Yep, I was married for 3.5 years we dated for two before getting married and lived together one of those years. We were opposites so I can appreciate your post. Everything was fine when we were dating, soon after marriage she became very unhappy and disillusioned. I did change like she expected I would after the marriage; She expected me to stop working out, become Mr. home improvent, and a neat freak..it was kind of strange to me. We actually went to couples counseling. She wanted to quit after three sessions, the counselor didn't take her side like she thought he would and told her she was probably too "high maintenance" for me and maybe we should get a divorce...:LMAO:

There are pictures of her in my album with the family pictures, the brunette in the bikkini..http://photos.yahoo.com/javaguru01

 

[Quadsweeps Sister]

No, it happens. I've been there. They aren't ready and would likely end up hurting & fooling you if they forced themselves to be in something they weren't ready for. I did this to someone. I tried, but I wasn't ready for the love he wanted to give me. Yes, it had to do with some drama I experienced. I broke up with him on Valentine's Day. I took myself out of the dating game for awhile and didn't return until I was ready.

Java, if they are running away, its a good thing. They aren't ready to give themselves to you, to love you, and to be completely raw & honest.

Somebody broke up with me once on Valentine's day...thought we were going out to dinner and well....we didn't.

You cruel and heartless woman....

 

[musclemom]

Yep, I was married for 3.5 years we dated for two before getting married and lived together one of those years. We were opposites so I can appreciate your post. Everything was fine when we were dating, soon after marriage she became very unhappy and disillusioned. I did change like she expected I would after the marriage; She expected me to stop working out, become Mr. home improvent, and a neat freak..it was kind of strange to me. We actually went to couples counseling. She wanted to quit after three sessions, the counselor didn't take her side like she thought he would and told her she was probably too "high maintenance" for me and maybe we should get a divorce...:LMAO:

There are pictures of her in my album with the family pictures, the brunette in the bikkini..http://photos.yahoo.com/javaguru01

I've looked through your albums. Saw the ex (she's real cute), saw the fam., saw the puppy and the kitty. In a couple of pics he looks kind of wolfish

I DO SO wish you'd get some new pictures with a clean mirror particularly that last torso shot. You know you should really redo that one but stand just a little further back from the mirror when you take it ... damn bathroom cabinet gets in the way

Oh WTF was I going to say, totally lost my freaking train of thought ...

 

[javaguru]

I've looked through your albums. Saw the ex (she's real cute), saw the fam., saw the puppy and the kitty. In a couple of pics he looks kind of wolfish

I DO SO wish you'd get some new pictures with a clean mirror particularly that last torso shot. You know you should really redo that one but stand just a little further back from the mirror when you take it ... damn bathroom cabinet gets in the way

Oh WTF was I going to say, totally lost my freaking train of thought ...

That's the cropped torso picture, I have the uncropped one safely on my HD. Nitchske is a shepherd mix, he had a benign tumor removed last year, it's a very common type among wolves, so it's probable. My ex never worked out, except rollerblading and her diet consisted of cereal + soy milk as well as Ben and Jerry's. What was I thinking....we were like night and day but best friends nevertheless.