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Thank you for the suggestion Twinny 
I am going through a weird phase right now. It is known to those closest to me that I am a competitor. I have been since I was given my first soccer ball when I was in preschool, yes preschool. I have been very athletic my entire life. It's difficult to try & explain to people who know that side of my personality, that I am doing this comp with no intention of winning. It’s like they cannot believe their ears. Am I just kidding myself here?! I’d love to win, who wouldn’t? But do I expect to? Honestly no, and I am scared.
You’d never guess after meeting me that I have this fear of speaking in public, and most definitely of being on stage… in front of a bunch of people who I am literally asking to judge me. I HATE when people judge me yet I am throwing myself to the wolves. THAT is why I want to go out there knowing I did the best I could, I look the best I could, and not try to cater to what the judges feel the ‘look of the week’ is for that comp, since you never really know WHAT they are looking for.
I really don’t need the “do a show for you” lecture; I am in more ways than you all know doing this for me, for experience, to face my own fears in a way.
Can I just tell you how much it means to me to hear the feedback from people whose opinions I value? Those who KNOW the fitness side of me? It’s like entering the fitness lifestyle all over again when your friends & family don’t understand or don’t trust you are doing the right thing, etc.
On another note, my good friend TK emailed me & said , “I heard about that competition, I think someone else I know is in that thing.”
LOL My reply outta NO WHERE, “ha she better watch out then if I’m competing against her …”
His reply, “I have to tell you, I like my friend *insert name* but she doesn't hold a candle to you. You are incredible.”
Grr…
Excuse the venting, it needed to come out… lol, I’ll prolly laugh later & say WTF did I post that
Kinda like reading old diaries lol HAHAHA!
I am going through a weird phase right now. It is known to those closest to me that I am a competitor. I have been since I was given my first soccer ball when I was in preschool, yes preschool. I have been very athletic my entire life. It's difficult to try & explain to people who know that side of my personality, that I am doing this comp with no intention of winning. It’s like they cannot believe their ears. Am I just kidding myself here?! I’d love to win, who wouldn’t? But do I expect to? Honestly no, and I am scared.
You’d never guess after meeting me that I have this fear of speaking in public, and most definitely of being on stage… in front of a bunch of people who I am literally asking to judge me. I HATE when people judge me yet I am throwing myself to the wolves. THAT is why I want to go out there knowing I did the best I could, I look the best I could, and not try to cater to what the judges feel the ‘look of the week’ is for that comp, since you never really know WHAT they are looking for.
I really don’t need the “do a show for you” lecture; I am in more ways than you all know doing this for me, for experience, to face my own fears in a way.
Can I just tell you how much it means to me to hear the feedback from people whose opinions I value? Those who KNOW the fitness side of me? It’s like entering the fitness lifestyle all over again when your friends & family don’t understand or don’t trust you are doing the right thing, etc.
On another note, my good friend TK emailed me & said , “I heard about that competition, I think someone else I know is in that thing.”
LOL My reply outta NO WHERE, “ha she better watch out then if I’m competing against her …”
His reply, “I have to tell you, I like my friend *insert name* but she doesn't hold a candle to you. You are incredible.”
Grr…
Excuse the venting, it needed to come out… lol, I’ll prolly laugh later & say WTF did I post that
Kinda like reading old diaries lol HAHAHA!
... some pwnage will come of it in one way or another 
