your problem is that youre looking towards others, and others opinions of you, to guide you in making opinions of yourself...which when you think about it is retarded
the world is full of people looking towards external influences for internal happiness. I know lots of them. In pharmacy we call them "patients" and they take these things called "antidepressants" so to get into you mind a bit let me ask you a question - if everyone in the world (except me) died right now, and you were the only (other) person left...how would you feel about yourself? would you say "you know, im really not that good, i could be thinner, i could be taller, i could be prettier" bla bla bla...probably not. (chances are youd let your pubes grow into a giant afro and focus on working out just how they used to make chocolate lol) so with that idea in mind, your ill feeling/low self esteem is dependent on...a bunch of creatures around you. does that make sense? how good YOU are depends on a bunch of creatures around you, rather than the universe?
what i often do when i feel down is to think what im going to be like in 10 years, looking back on myself feeling depressed about stuff (cos ive been depressed a lot over the years) - and i know when im that age im not going to look back and say "yeah golden, you should have been at 10% bodyfat not 12%, you suck" - im going to look back and say "fuck i used to look great!" and rather than say "yeah, clarissa and melanie and stephanie and renee are pretty cute...but you could do better...youre a wanker for not banging hotter models" im going to look back and say "what a fucking champion, which of your other buddies have 5 girls at a time flipping coins over who takes you home? hi5555555!!!"
enjoy what you got while you got it. are you capable of having good experiences? yes...so go out and fucking have them before time or circumstance takes that opportunity away!! are you insane?!?! go find a totally hot guy...and shag him!! go eat a burger...and love it!!!
95% of people live their life waiting for something to happen, or striving towards something indirect (like getting rich, or buying "that car" or "that house") to make themselves happy. the other 5% are the people that the 95% watch just doing their thing, having a laugh
im a fucking pharmacist for Gods sake. last week I was driving strippers around picking fights with Goth Bikies for taking photos of her during her show. Most of my peers would have shaken their heads at the thought of doing it...but by fuck did everyone want to know what it was like, and if i was doing it again, with a gleam in their eye...and my answer was "it was pretty good. but not as good as fucking her"
im such a shit pharmacist. but fuck i rock lol