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Blows to the ego...

S

Stefka

New member
Many of you, like me, may think very highly of yourselves.
have you ever had an experience that makes you think that maybe you aren't the best?
I've been going through that all week.
I'm not the smartest, not the prettiest, not the best dressed, not the most charming...
Always in my life I have been at least one of these things.
But now I am competing against some very talented, smart, well dressed, pretty people.
It all kind of makes me feel very un-special.
I'm starting to lose a sense of what makes me unique and awesome.
Any advice?
 
Stefka said:
Many of you, like me, may think very highly of yourselves.
have you ever had an experience that makes you think that maybe you aren't the best?
I've been going through that all week.
I'm not the smartest, not the prettiest, not the best dressed, not the most charming...
Always in my life I have been at least one of these things.
But now I am competing against some very talented, smart, well dressed, pretty people.
It all kind of makes me feel very un-special.
I'm starting to lose a sense of what makes me unique and awesome.
Any advice?
Click to expand...
Being in law school alone puts you in the top 10% of intelligent people around, most likely. The fact that you are also beautiful makes you that much more rare. People would kill to be like you. Seriously.
 
None of us are a special snowflake. However, I realized that when you combine all the things you mention with character.....that's something rare. You can't control your genes but you can control who you are at a basic level. You'll also find all those people you are competing against have the same insecurities. Also, don't confuse rankings in law school with ability/intelligence/talent. I graduated with people who were higher ranked than myself that I wouldn't want to represent me in traffic court. :)
 
Also, I felt good about myself in law school because less than a dozen guys ever did anything athletic in their entire life....:)
 
heatherrae said:
Being in law school alone puts you in the top 10% of intelligent people around, most likely. The fact that you are also beautiful makes you that much more rare. People would kill to be like you. Seriously.
Click to expand...

Maybe you're right.
But I'm surrounded by the top 10%.
It kind of sucks to feel like you're at the bottom of any group.
I'm just here to learn and write and explore - why does it have to make me feel like such shit at times?
 
heatherrae said:
Being in law school alone puts you in the top 10% of intelligent people around, most likely. The fact that you are also beautiful makes you that much more rare. People would kill to be like you. Seriously.
Click to expand...

Yes, I agree. It is not fair that QT is mean to you, because you are intelligent and beautiful!!!


BTW...Velvett unlocked that thread.
 
javaguru said:
None of us are a special snowflake. However, I realized that when you combine all the things you mention with character.....that's something rare. You can't control your genes but you can control who you are at a basic level. You'll also find all those people you are competing against have the same insecurities. Also, don't confuse rankings in law school with ability/intelligence/talent. I graduated with people who were higher ranked than myself that I wouldn't want to represent me in traffic court. :)
Click to expand...

I think you are a special snowflake bro.
 
Stefka said:
Maybe you're right.
But I'm surrounded by the top 10%.
It kind of sucks to feel like you're at the bottom of any group.
I'm just here to learn and write and explore - why does it have to make me feel like such shit at times?
Click to expand...
Dr. Phil Answer.......because you let it. My first year, the contracts professor addressed the class before the final,"The grade you receive on this exam is one person's opinion based on your performance this day of your life." You type A's stress too much..... :)
 
Stefka said:
Maybe you're right.
But I'm surrounded by the top 10%.
It kind of sucks to feel like you're at the bottom of any group.
I'm just here to learn and write and explore - why does it have to make me feel like such shit at times?
Click to expand...
You are not in the bottom of your class I'm sure. EVERYONE feels insecure as 1L's. That is part of the process of thickening your skin. I bet you intimidate the hell out of many people in school. I would guarantee it, actually.
 
javaguru said:
None of us are a special snowflake. However, I realized that when you combine all the things you mention with character.....that's something rare. You can't control your genes but you can control who you are at a basic level. You'll also find all those people you are competing against have the same insecurities. Also, don't confuse rankings in law school with ability/intelligence/talent. I graduated with people who were higher ranked than myself that I wouldn't want to represent me in traffic court. :)
Click to expand...

I realize that perfect grades don't make a wonderful lawyer.
Why don't the firms realize that?
So I don't have a 4.5 - I wrote orders that were published. I "won" arguments with a federal judge. I'm good at this stuff damn it. Plus I'm cute and I look good in a suit and I have a friggin personality. Why doensn't anyone want me?
 
1987 - School of Visual Arts: A drawing class of some kind

I was 17 and totally shattered, in high school I was the best, in college among others that were "the best" in their world - I felt unworthy.

It's the big fish little pond to little fish big pond phenomenon.

You find out that there are so many people just like you and some you may think are better than you in so many ways.

That's thing though - competing against others doesn't make you grow - competing against yourself does.

Try not to focus on others - focus on what you need to do to be and feel like a better you. When you feel better about you in time you'll stop focusing on how you compare to others.

I hope that helps...

:(
 
Stefka said:
I realize that perfect grades don't make a wonderful lawyer.
Why don't the firms realize that?
So I don't have a 4.5 - I wrote orders that were published. I "won" arguments with a federal judge. I'm good at this stuff damn it. Plus I'm cute and I look good in a suit and I have a friggin personality. Why doensn't anyone want me?
Click to expand...


dnwkittyuk6.jpg
 
Stefka said:
I realize that perfect grades don't make a wonderful lawyer.
Why don't the firms realize that?
So I don't have a 4.5 - I wrote orders that were published. I "won" arguments with a federal judge. I'm good at this stuff damn it. Plus I'm cute and I look good in a suit and I have a friggin personality. Why doensn't anyone want me?
Click to expand...
Those on campus interviews suck. They usually only go on GPA alone. Almost no one but the top 10 got offers when we did them as 1L's. If you want a good clerking position where they will actually do some work instead of bullshit hob-nobbing at the big power firms, then interview at a mid or small size that is looking for a clerk and not doing the on campus BS.
 
Stefka said:
I realize that perfect grades don't make a wonderful lawyer.
Why don't the firms realize that?
So I don't have a 4.5 - I wrote orders that were published. I "won" arguments with a federal judge. I'm good at this stuff damn it. Plus I'm cute and I look good in a suit and I have a friggin personality. Why doensn't anyone want me?
Click to expand...
Sometimes the way you look can work against you if they need to fill a merit position. A recommendation can work wonders. To paraphrase, I can't count the times I was told,"Wow, you really are smart." :rolleyes: In my business, the nerdier you look the better.

Also, after job #1 GPA doesn't matter.
 
I wish I was back in College again banging nerdy chicks with low self-esteem.

18218401470.jpg
 
Stefka said:
Maybe you're right.
But I'm surrounded by the top 10%.
It kind of sucks to feel like you're at the bottom of any group.
I'm just here to learn and write and explore - why does it have to make me feel like such shit at times?
Click to expand...
stefka, as long as you compare yourself to others you will be disappointed. this can be a hard lesson to learn. shit im still working on this. when you make comparisons someone has to lose! even if you pronounce yourself the "winner" most pretty, best dressed etc... you still lose because you are reinforcing dichotomous beliefs and setting yourself up for a fall in the future. more and more i am learning to suspend judgments and look at things like " just is." we all have our little "judge" measuring ourselves against our fellows. tell him\her to go fuck off.
 
all the whey said:
I wish I was back in College again banging nerdy chicks with low self-esteem.

18218401470.jpg
Click to expand...
:bawling:

You told me that you loved me and I was pretty.
 
You have all made good points. I'm just not into watching as all those that I consider to be "better" than me scoop up the jobs. I need to pay off my loans too damn it. I'd love to maintain the "well if you don't want me then I wouldn't want to work for you anyway" attitude - but real, debt-filled life is rapidly approaching. I've never felt so unwanted. This sucks.
 
Stefka said:
I realize that perfect grades don't make a wonderful lawyer.
Why don't the firms realize that?
So I don't have a 4.5 - I wrote orders that were published. I "won" arguments with a federal judge. I'm good at this stuff damn it. Plus I'm cute and I look good in a suit and I have a friggin personality. Why doensn't anyone want me?
Click to expand...
personality and looks count more than grades in the long run. making good grades in school means you are academically inclined. absolutely NO correlation between good grades and wealth. lots of studies on this. i would be embarrassed to tell you the grade i droped out in and i am in the 1% tax bracket. it may seem shallow that looks and personality outshine grades but thats the real world. tall ppl, pretty ppl, charismatic ppl have the advantage. if you are talented it will pay dividends in the long run.
 
Stefka, you're good enough, smart enough, and by golly people like you!

Somewhere, right now, there is a girl thing to herself why she can't compete with you and about what she needs to do to beat you. She's likely one of those people you're worried about......:)
 
javaguru said:
Stefka, you're good enough, smart enough, and by golly people like you!

Somewhere, right now, there is a girl thing to herself why she can't compete with you and about what she needs to do to beat you. She's likely one of those people you're worried about......:)
Click to expand...
stu smiley!! lol.
 
heatherrae said:
:bawling:

You told me that you loved me and I was pretty.
Click to expand...

No whey!

I told you it didn't bother me that my last gf was smarter than you. And, that I really did like your love handles!

That my friends is how you get teh sekzen.

Next lesson is tomorrow. Please don't forget your notebooks.
 
all the whey said:
No whey!

I told you it didn't bother me that my last gf was smarter than you. And, that I really did like you love handels!

That my friends is how you get teh sekzen.

Next lesson is tomorrow. Please don't forget your notebooks.
Click to expand...
Will you still like me if my bag of waters breaks on your bed?
 
heatherrae said:
Will you still like me if my bag of waters breaks on your bed?
Click to expand...

That is my goal!
 
velvett said:
1987 - School of Visual Arts: A drawing class of some kind

I was 17 and totally shattered, in high school I was the best, in college among others that were "the best" in their world - I felt unworthy.

It's the big fish little pond to little fish big pond phenomenon.

You find out that there are so many people just like you and some you may think are better than you in so many ways.

That's thing though - competing against others doesn't make you grow - competing against yourself does.

Try not to focus on others - focus on what you need to do to be and feel like a better you. When you feel better about you in time you'll stop focusing on how you compare to others.

I hope that helps...

:(
Click to expand...

not really, we never had hot freaky sex :(
 
Not to be morbid, but when I was in HS the class valedictorian from the class 1 yr ahead of me was accepted to MIT (he was a nerd). But apparently not nerd enough - he was the best of the best in a school of about 1000 students. But at MIT he was under so much pressure he actually committed suicide.

Point being -- pay attention to yourself and your goals and do the best you can. Those environments do keep everyone fighting for the top positions but its so critical to keep things in perspective so YOU can get where you want to go and meet YOUR goals on your merits, and not based on how great you think other people think you are.

IMO those people thrive on a high opinion of themselves are often left in the dust in the real world where there isn't a fish bowl effect and everyone has different points of reference instead of one big one.
 
Sassy69 said:
Not to be morbid, but when I was in HS the class valedictorian from the class 1 yr ahead of me was accepted to MIT (he was a nerd). But apparently not nerd enough - he was the best of the best in a school of about 1000 students. But at MIT he was under so much pressure he actually committed suicide.

Point being -- pay attention to yourself and your goals and do the best you can. Those environments do keep everyone fighting for the top positions but its so critical to keep things in perspective so YOU can get where you want to go and meet YOUR goals on your merits, and not based on how great you think other people think you are.

IMO those people thrive on a high opinion of themselves are often left in the dust in the real world where there isn't a fish bowl effect and everyone has different points of reference instead of one big one.
Click to expand...
Our HS valedictorian just dropped out of college....... :)
 
Sassy69 said:
I wonder if that means the guy who came in 2nd to the valedictorian gets to be the valedictorian now?


:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
I think it's kind of like the Nobel Prize, once you get it then you can be a failure. :)
 
i cant achieve my goals without steroids. so i realized i have to quit being a bodybuilder and become a drunk faggot
 
SublimeZM said:
i cant achieve my goals without steroids. so i realized i have to quit being a bodybuilder and become a drunk faggot
Click to expand...
Good plan...but you could compete in those geigh ass lifetime natty comps.... :)
 
SublimeZM said:
would i win anything??
Click to expand...
You could go to the juicer forum and tell them how they're all cheaters and pussies while you're the only "real" bodybuilder on the board....then you'll get banned but it's a moral and pyhric victory.
 
javaguru said:
You could go to the juicer forum and tell them how they're all cheaters and pussies while you're the only "real" bodybuilder on the board....then you'll get banned but it's a moral and pyhric victory.
Click to expand...
i am pro-juice.
 
SublimeZM said:
i am pro-juice.
Click to expand...
me too, especially pomegranant! It's so yummy and contains 7x more antioxidants than green tea. I bet you didn't know that.
 
your problem is that youre looking towards others, and others opinions of you, to guide you in making opinions of yourself...which when you think about it is retarded

the world is full of people looking towards external influences for internal happiness. I know lots of them. In pharmacy we call them "patients" and they take these things called "antidepressants" so to get into you mind a bit let me ask you a question - if everyone in the world (except me) died right now, and you were the only (other) person left...how would you feel about yourself? would you say "you know, im really not that good, i could be thinner, i could be taller, i could be prettier" bla bla bla...probably not. (chances are youd let your pubes grow into a giant afro and focus on working out just how they used to make chocolate lol) so with that idea in mind, your ill feeling/low self esteem is dependent on...a bunch of creatures around you. does that make sense? how good YOU are depends on a bunch of creatures around you, rather than the universe?

what i often do when i feel down is to think what im going to be like in 10 years, looking back on myself feeling depressed about stuff (cos ive been depressed a lot over the years) - and i know when im that age im not going to look back and say "yeah golden, you should have been at 10% bodyfat not 12%, you suck" - im going to look back and say "fuck i used to look great!" and rather than say "yeah, clarissa and melanie and stephanie and renee are pretty cute...but you could do better...youre a wanker for not banging hotter models" im going to look back and say "what a fucking champion, which of your other buddies have 5 girls at a time flipping coins over who takes you home? hi5555555!!!"

enjoy what you got while you got it. are you capable of having good experiences? yes...so go out and fucking have them before time or circumstance takes that opportunity away!! are you insane?!?! go find a totally hot guy...and shag him!! go eat a burger...and love it!!!

95% of people live their life waiting for something to happen, or striving towards something indirect (like getting rich, or buying "that car" or "that house") to make themselves happy. the other 5% are the people that the 95% watch just doing their thing, having a laugh

im a fucking pharmacist for Gods sake. last week I was driving strippers around picking fights with Goth Bikies for taking photos of her during her show. Most of my peers would have shaken their heads at the thought of doing it...but by fuck did everyone want to know what it was like, and if i was doing it again, with a gleam in their eye...and my answer was "it was pretty good. but not as good as fucking her"

im such a shit pharmacist. but fuck i rock lol
 
layinback said:
as long as you compare yourself to others you will be disappointed. this can be a hard lesson to learn. shit im still working on this.
Click to expand...


I can't help but feel this is my fault. I'm sorry I am so amazing bro :(
 
Stefka said:
Many of you, like me, may think very highly of yourselves.
have you ever had an experience that makes you think that maybe you aren't the best?
I've been going through that all week.
I'm not the smartest, not the prettiest, not the best dressed, not the most charming...
Always in my life I have been at least one of these things.
But now I am competing against some very talented, smart, well dressed, pretty people.
It all kind of makes me feel very un-special.
I'm starting to lose a sense of what makes me unique and awesome.
Any advice?
Click to expand...

Get older and you won't care.
 
biteme said:
Get older and you won't care.
Click to expand...


Is that why the elderly have wicked amounts of ear and nose hair? Because they just don't care enough to trim it? And I'm guessing they don't trim their pubes either :worried:
 
layinback said:
stefka, as long as you compare yourself to others you will be disappointed. this can be a hard lesson to learn. shit im still working on this. when you make comparisons someone has to lose! even if you pronounce yourself the "winner" most pretty, best dressed etc... you still lose because you are reinforcing dichotomous beliefs and setting yourself up for a fall in the future. more and more i am learning to suspend judgments and look at things like " just is." we all have our little "judge" measuring ourselves against our fellows. tell him\her to go fuck off.
Click to expand...



Yep your comparing your insides with their outsides.......Not a good thing to do :heart:
 
Stefka said:
Maybe you're right.
But I'm surrounded by the top 10%.
It kind of sucks to feel like you're at the bottom of any group.
I'm just here to learn and write and explore - why does it have to make me feel like such shit at times?
Click to expand...

it's hard to do, but don't compare yourself.
Everyone has flaws- you just can't always see them. I bet if you get close to them, you'll discover you intimidate some of them too, in ways you hadn't thought of.
 
heatherrae said:
Being in law school alone puts you in the top 10% of intelligent people around, most likely. The fact that you are also beautiful makes you that much more rare. People would kill to be like you. Seriously.
Click to expand...


being in law school DOES NOT put you the top 10% of intelligent people around. that is completely ridiculous to say. i could introduce you to 3 shady, shifty, scum bag lawyers i know who are dumb as shit. just because you have book smarts and can graduate law school doesnt mean you are intelligent. hell i got into law school and the people who i knew who got in with me were morons.

make law review at a top 50 law school, then id say you are tops in thelaw field for your school and year. but just to get in and graduate means shit. look at how many unemployed, ambulance chasing lawyers there are out there.
 
yea i am stupid bc i am not one one the top 10% of the most itelligent ppl around in law school

fuck that whatever
 
Stefka said:
Is no one here competitive?
Click to expand...


Yes that is why I race.....but not with others on a personal level. I think that is the one thing that age does change...or at least it did for me. I have to reason to want what others have...I have what I want. :heart:
 
jon79 said:
yea i am stupid bc i am not one one the top 10% of the most itelligent ppl around in law school

fuck that whatever
Click to expand...


you big dummy. all law school acceptees are the smartest people in the world. God.
 
Well, I got over feeling so crappy compared to my classmates.
I had some great interviews. It was actually kind of fun talking to so many people from so many different firms.
AND...In the last 5 days I have learned a ton about working for law firms and interviewing.
I am going to rock OCI next semester.
 
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