are children overrated? came across this article, thought it was interesting

[digimon7068]

there was a time in my life when the thought of having kids seemed ridiculous...then something changed, not sure what, it was just a number of subtle changes over a long period of time i suppose and, by the time i got married, i told my wife that i wanted to have 5 kids...and i was serious.

anyway, after a couple of years of marriage, we started trying to have kids...and we tried...and we tried...we tried a LOT...and it didn't work. we were living in pittsburgh at the time, thank God, UPMC McGee has an unbelievable fertility program...so we got tested, couldn't really find anything wrong with us...my count was up and down from time-to-time but, within the acceptable range...so, with no specific cause, we started out in the program at the entry level...mild dose of fertility drugs for both of us and timed sex (ugh)...did that for a few months, nothing happened...then we moved on to artificial insemination (abstain for a few days prior to ovulation, i go to the hospital and make a "deposit", they take my junk and spin it out then separate the strongest swimmers then they turkey-baster it into my wife's honey-hole)...did that for a few months, nothing happened...then we moved on to in vitro (test tube baby...my junk, her junk, in a petri dish, eggs get fertilized, or not, and then "grown" for a couple of days, and then they are rated based on the rate at which they are dividing, then the strong ones are selected and you decide whether to pick 2 or 3 to be inserted and the rest are frozen for other attempts)...we did that once, everything had to be regulated during the process, i was on clomid, and i had to inject my wife with different drugs at different times to regulate ovulation, etc so that it could be timed to the minute...at "go time", i make a deposit, and then her eggs are harvested and then into the petri dish it goes...that didn't work...sooooo, then we moved on to ICSI...with ICSI, the process is the same as in vitro except individual sperm are injected into individual eggs by an embryologist using a tiny little needle and pipette under a big-ass microscope.

we inserted three fertilized eggs, two took and we have 10 year old twin girls at the time that we did this, a lot of the procedures weren't covered by insurance so, we had to pay out-of-pocket...we spent at least $50 grand (thank God we were both making good money!!) and, it was the best money i ever spent...the days, weeks, months, years since then have been the best and happiest of my life...my wife is the best mom i have ever seen and my kids are wonderful and i think i'm a pretty ok dad...do they challenge you and push your buttons?? YES! smart kids are like that...but, my wife is just so good at molding them into little citizens.

oh and, two days before my 41st birthday my son was born...he was au natural...after the girls, we never really stopped "trying" but after a while, you just kinda write it off...ain't gonna happen...then, one day i got a phone call at work (like everyone else does) and she said "i think i'm pregnant" and i just couldn't believe it...i said "how do you know?" and she says "well, i took three of those ept's and they are all positive"...that was one of the coolest experiences of my life...to have a kid like everyone else does...and to get that phone call at work like everyone else does.

anyway, when my son came along, i was excited...i hadn't really thought about having a son...i suppose every guy wants one but, after several years with a house full of chicks, i just didn't think about it...anyway, he came along and filled a hole in my life that i didn't even know was there until the hole was gone.

i could go on and on but i won't.

i will say this, though...when we were having problems getting pregnant, i was pissed off...a lot...all around me, people were having kids left and right and a lot of them didn't even want or deserve them and my wife and i couldn't have one to save our lives...and then we went through all that medical stuff and spent a bunch of money and it just seemed like a curse...but, honestly?? looking back, it was a blessing...everyone should have to "work for it" a little, then maybe they wouldn't take things so much for granted...and maybe they'd look at their kids every morning (like i do) and realize what a blessing and what a miracle they are...i kinda feel sorry for people that didn't have to struggle a little bit...especially those ones that take their children for granted...shame on them.

PS: we stopped at 3!! at our age, that was enough and we did't wanna push the envelope with regard to health issues (both mother and child) that can arise after the mid-30's.

 

[stilleto]

psst...the post you quoted was meant for me.

we handled it already leto.

oh. well. as long as i'm not needed, i'm going to go play outside.

 

[75th]

I absolutely love being a father and I wouldn't change it for anything. My son is my world. I don't see how anyone could say that being a parent is overrated.

stfu

 

[ricco561]

of course, in order to reproduce, one must actually copulate with teh opposite sex.

So, I assume he's a top and just doesn't understand this whole reproductive thing.

 

[ceo]

surprised no one on here with kids has mentioned the financial burden.

in the US, it costs on average 222K per child. and that doesn't count if you decide to send them to private school nor college costs (not like parents pay for their kids college anyway unless they are spoiled brats with poor grades, any idiot can get a scholarship with a decent SAT score).

and that price tag will go up from here with the price of housing, food, and retail goods set to rise over the next 5 years.

what about it? You either know about it going in to the deal or you'll soon find out.

Everything in life is a financial burden. Things cost money. If you're not paying for your things, someone else is. Look at all the people on welfare that we're already supporting. At least with a kid I get to spend my money on them how I see fit.

 

[stevesmi]

what about it? You either know about it going in to the deal or you'll soon find out.

Everything in life is a financial burden. Things cost money. If you're not paying for your things, someone else is. Look at all the people on welfare that we're already supporting. At least with a kid I get to spend my money on them how I see fit.

during the great depression people would have kids even though they were starving cause they needed the kids to grow up to help them on the farm grow crops and help with chores etc.

do today's kids do that?

 

[ceo]

during the great depression people would have kids even though they were starving cause they needed the kids to grow up to help them on the farm grow crops and help with chores etc.

do today's kids do that?

I would assume so, if they had to, but there aren't as many farms today. Poor people tend to have a lot of kids though. It's always been that way.

 

[nangiggles]

it's not like you pay $220k up front when they're born....

 

[ceo]

IrightI and digi, both made great points. I don't see my son as a burden in any sort of way at all.

 

[IrightI]

I would assume so, if they had to, but there aren't as many farms today. Poor people tend to have a lot of kids though. It's always been that way.

cultural differences, it's not looked down on to have children out of wedlock. And last but not least, the gubment pays $$ per kid. The chances of the kids seeing the money is miniscule. As long as g-mom will take care of them, they're gonna keep giving themselves a raise.