Air Force Maintenance Squawks

[Phemomena]

more funnies... sorry, i'm bored

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before next flight.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough,
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid,
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That’s what they’re there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, “fly right” and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words

 

[8-]]

Seen it before, but its still funny.

 

[Phemomena]

bump for a laugh...

 

[danielson]

hee hee....found on wing after brief search, autoland v.rough

classic

 

[MINISTER]

 

[fiatconspiracy]

good stuff, where do you find it

 

[alptraum]

Those are scary. Think about how many such problems/"fixes" there must be for commercial airlines that are similar to these. I never did like flying.

 

[frorider6]

I saw that list floating around the flightline back when I was an electrician on C-141s and C-5s. Still makes me laugh.

 

[frorider6]

I saw that list floating around the flightline back when I was an electrician on C-141s and C-5s. Still makes me laugh.

Awwww, my very first post on the C&C board. I had about 15 or so on the Anabolic section before this though.