*~*~*~*After 2 weeks of dating, he tells me he loves me*~*~*~*

[madbomber31]

and for bikinimom,


You have more hangups then anyone i have read here
(girl)

i dunno, i got some hang ups... but ya, bm you've changed a little in the last 2 years... you are quite anti relationshippy... i'd bet when a guy asks you out he is thinking about a second date before the first... he has intentions.... see, females need to understand that if a guy wants a friend, or to just hang out (for real)... HE IS GONNA HANG WITH ANOTHER GUY!!!!

50 percent of the time a guy would rather hang out with another guy than a girl.... that number raises to 99.9 percent if he KNOWS sex or a relationship is out of the question... i would NEVER hang with a female for friendship.... BORING!

 

[cure]

Did you read the part in my post where I said, "We can laugh, hang out and be GREAT FRIENDS.... if something more develops then great, if not...."

How can you fall in love with ANYONE unless you are THEIR FRIEND FIRST?!

As for the meal? I can COOK MY FUCKING OWN - I HAVE FOUR KIDS!

I don't NEED a man to pay for my meal or anything else for that matter.... ALL MEN KNOW THIS UP FRONT!

....So you were saying?

BINGO!!!! YOU SAID FRIENDS. I'm pretty sure the terminology is you date someone you are interested in but you go out with friends. If you are going out (as in outside the home) and doing things like supper, movie, walks, talks, shopping.. then you are not dating but just friends and if the guy ends up paying that's like making one of your female friends constantly pay for things. I'm sure you don't split bills and go dutch when with a man.

Actually, try telling the guy when you go out with him...Ok well i'm willing to date you and even might considering being exclusive with you but for now i only want to be friends...no sex, no nothing...if the guy stays he's an idiot. Call it a relationship, pull out the whip because this guys in for it.

Personally i wouldn't know what hit me if you told me that. Pretty scary actually.

 

[Taps]

gwl9dta4 & sk*, damn you guys need to chill out a little bit.

I mean no disrespect, but don't you think your a little outdated in your thinking? This isn't the 1950's.

By your rational, people should just skip the dating process alltogether and go straight into a relationship. Um, where's the logic in that?

Say for example, some cute girl asked you to dinner -- so you go out, have fun, etc (nothing sexual). The next day, another cute girl asks you to see a movie -- so you go out, have fun, etc (nothing sexual). What's the harm in that?

Oh, and I agree that the man should pay for the first date. For successive dates tho, the girl should pick up some of the tab. I don't know about you, but the girls I date (although it's been a while) have jobs and can take care of themselves -- they don't need me for a free meal.

 

[Frackal]

I totally agree with some of you on here.... I think it's dissapointing that you let these guys pay for your dates Jenn. Your comments about my (previous) anger towards women leads me to believe you consider yourself a modern woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself. It's easy to date a lot of guys when you can mooch off them and they pay for everything. I notice you had no problem accepting the gifts he's given to you even though like madbomber said you don't come across, on here at least, as having much respect for him. I consider you to be a decent person, that at least is the impression I have gathered from you on this board.

You are not doing the wrong thing 100%, but you are leading this fellow on no matter what you tell him, especially by accepting his advances. The poor guy is probably still naive as to the way of women, the indecisiveness, the belief that they are never at fault, the way the feel guys do not have strong emotions therefore it is ok to toy with them....

You remember my disgust about women threads that you did not like so much? Well this is one example of the behavior I find detestful.

If you like this guy, then you need to be a big girl and make a DECISION about whether or not you wish to continue seeing him, and stop accepting his gifts and start paying for dates like a woman who believes in equality should.

This was somewhat harsh but I think it had to be said. I KNOW that you are a good person so I just think you need a little urging to do the right thing... =)

 

[jennifer BFL chick]

Translation:


"Yes i am 23, i used to be fat and insecure but now i am thinner and have newly found self esteem because suddenly white men are interested in me. I want to experience new people (fuck my brains out before settling down), yes i would like to have my cake and eat it too."

Yes you are a typical insecure girl, fearing that she will miss out on life somehow. Oh yeah, i fail to see how a relationship with the right person is viewed as boring, shit you can have a boyfriend and be best friends doing everything together and having a great time.

I was never "fat", and definitely not insecure when it came to dating. I've been dating since I was 13. Again, I have only been with one guy sexually in 4 years, I have no desire to sleep around.

Anyhow, I have no disrespect for Jimmy simply because I'm doing what I was doing before I met him. He choose to use the word love, that doesn't mean I have to drop everything else in my life because of how he feels-----what about how I feel? I like him, want to keep seeing him, but I'm not ready to commit to him--nothing wrong with that. who knows, in a couple of weeks he might not be interested anyhow.

Who said relationships were boring? I never said that.

So many people get into a relationship simply because they want the perks of it, but then they cheat on the person they are with because they truly don't feel content---and of course, they won't admit it to their mate-----this is totally uncool, and I have never done anything like this. These people are the ones who are insecure. I have the chance of losing every guy I'm dating to another girl because were not commited, but you know what? I'm confident enough to know that If someone really likes me, then I can't be replaced that easy. Plus, most of the guys I'm dating its so casual we are practically just friends. If you have never "dated" before, then you won't understand.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Guess what? MY FRIENDS (male and female alike) KNOW that money is VERY TIGHT FOR ME, so YES - GENERALLY I CAN NOT PAY.... BUT I do do what I can for them... ie I bake and cook for them.

I try and lend a supportive ear and help them in NON-MONETARY ways when I CAN.... WHY? Because that is what friends DO.

Did all you psychos read the part where I said there IS NO SECOND DATE IF I AM NOT INTERESTED AS I AM NOT INTO YANKING A GUY'S CHAIN?!

If I am dating a man who is very well off financially why should I be expected to pay for a date that I could not possibly afford? BUT HE WANTS THE PLEASURE OF MY COMPANY AND WOULD LIKE TO GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO KNOW ME... If the feeling is mutual then I try to give him little gifts - they have no real monetary value, but show that I am thinking of him and am definitely interested. When is the last time a girl made home made, decorated Christmas tree ornaments and gave them as a gift to you? No REAL monetary value, but I gave of myself.

So you were saying?

I am not anti-relationshippy AT ALL....

I just have very little time to spend on such things. My time is an EXTREMELY precious commodity. If a man can not even pay for a date without feeling he is entitled to SEX or ANY OTHER PHYSICAL DISPLAY OF AFFECTION because he bought me a fucking meal, then guess what? HE AIN'T WORTH MY PRECIOUS TIME.

.....but I am the one with issues?

PUH-LEASE.

 

[naturally anabolic]

please discontinue the relentless banter, go enjoy your lives, regret nothing and never question things just go with the flow and let your feelings guide you to what is right.

 

[big4life]

I don't understand a lot of you people.

What is she doing wrong? It's called dating, that's the process where you find out if someone is "the one".

What's wrong with them paying? I find that whoever asks someone out, generally pays for the date.

As far as guys feeling like they are competing with each other, that says more about their insecurities than it does about Jenn's.

 

[Frackal]

You make some good points jenn, but I think it still stands that the decent thing to do here is at least make a decision, or if you want to keep seeing him fine, but I dont think its really appropriate to accept gifts or let the guys pay for your dates..if you are casually dating ('pratically just friends') casual means YOU split the costs ... this guy may genuinely have strong feelings for you already, and yes you've been up front with him, but if you accept his advances without being sure of what you wish to do, it's just leading him on....

 

[jennifer BFL chick]

I totally agree with some of you on here.... I think it's dissapointing that you let these guys pay for your dates Jenn. Your comments about my (previous) anger towards women leads me to believe you consider yourself a modern woman perfectly capable of taking care of herself. It's easy to date a lot of guys when you can mooch off them and they pay for everything. I notice you had no problem accepting the gifts he's given to you even though like madbomber said you don't come across, on here at least, as having much respect for him. I consider you to be a decent person, that at least is the impression I have gathered from you on this board.

You are not doing the wrong thing 100%, but you are leading this fellow on no matter what you tell him, especially by accepting his advances. The poor guy is probably still naive as to the way of women, the indecisiveness, the belief that they are never at fault, the way the feel guys do not have strong emotions therefore it is ok to toy with them....

You remember my disgust about women threads that you did not like so much? Well this is one example of the behavior I find detestful.

If you like this guy, then you need to be a big girl and make a DECISION about whether or not you wish to continue seeing him, and stop accepting his gifts and start paying for dates like a woman who believes in equality should.

This was somewhat harsh but I think it had to be said. I KNOW that you are a good person so I just think you need a little urging to do the right thing... =)

I don't see how I'm leading him on at all. I really do like him, I honestly do. I would never spend so much time with one person if I didn't. But that doesn't mean that he has to be my boyfriend right now. We can enjoy each other without that title. who ever said I have the guys pay for all the dates? I never said anything remotely like that on this thread or any thread for that matter.

You know frack, you should try dating people instead of jumping into a relationship, that way you wouldn't wear your heart on your sleeve when an "ok" girl comes around