19 and havent had a girlfriend

[DeepZenPill]

Just don't worry about it. I went out with one girl who became hot all of the sudden when she lost some weight. She never had a boyfriend before, and worried about that shit all the time. She couldn't believe I was interested in her, and that constant worrying and unchanging insecurities drove me away from her. It's a shame because we were great friends before the relationship.

The point is, if you keep occupying yourself with that thought, it's just going to bring you down and lead to further defeat. HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE. Any half decent girl is not going to give a shit if you haven't had a girlfriend. You're entire life is ahead of you so don't get hung up on such trivial past experiences.

 

[MFMan]

Think you got problems. I'm 34 and haven't moved out of my parents house or had a girlfriend in 7 years. I'm unemployed and I'm grounded for staying out to late last night. Pucker up asshole! Could be worse. Believe me.

 

[ConstantChange]

p60, would you care if a girl you liked had never had a boyfriend? I don't see why a girl would care how many girlfriends you have. If she does care about that, find another girl.

You only have one problem to worry about.....your confidence. Who cares about not having a g/f, not kissing a girl, not having sex, etc... It only matters to you, I doubt anybody else even thinks about it.

You need to take things one step at a time. Don't worry about finding a girlfriend, first try to talk to a few girls. Start building your confidence up. Would you be happy if some girl came up to you and started talking? That'd be cool right? So just think how happy that makes the girl feel when you come up and talk to her (unless she's just a bitch).

Thinking about it won't change anything......you got to do it!

 

[Imakarum_Mirabilis]

Maybe, if you sit on your lazy ass some more, all good things will gravitate towards you.

 

[vinylgroover]

There is so much to enjoy in life that doesn't invlove being in a relationship, particularly at your age.

Get out there and live it up........if you find someone in the meantime that you would like to do stuff with and share time with fine, but you're too young to get obsessed about that now.

And all that talk about how having been in serious relationships previously makes you more mature and able to handle your next relationship is bullshit............i know people that have had 4 or 5 long relationships and they still don't know how to deal with girls.

 

[makedah]

Maybe, if you sit on your lazy ass some more, all good things will gravitate towards you.

It's rough, but it's right!

 

[Robert Jan]

DZP is right

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

what if they dont want to 'have fun' or even get in a relationship, because they found out you havent had any girlfriends before, and thus think you are a total loser or something??

gosh I'm so self conscious, and I think about things way too much, this totally blows

I wish I could tell you what to do. I can just say that I've had ocd from age 12 that lasted 8 years, the last four were on 60 mg of prozac. Plus I had STRICT parents that made thing worse. I couldn't bring a chick home at all without getting a lecture. I basically shelled up and got depressed even more. The prozac all it did for me was make me not give a shit about anything. I was happy in school but not at home, and I knew chicks liked me but I couldn't open up to em. The longer you wait the more time you waste. You just gotta get out of that self defeating mind state and go after those chicks. I was into my early 20s before I had anyone you could call a girlfriend. And if they can't understand all the shit you seem to have been through, provided they think you're normal otherwise, then they're probably not worth it.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: 19 and havent had a girlfriend

That is great to hear.

Do you feel that you've made progress with your current therapist? Many people need to try out several therapists before they find someone who truly understands their needs and concerns.

Are you currently in behavior therapy? Most people who suffer from OCD benefit greatly from behavior therapy.

Not always the case, unless you're talking with other people who have ocd or had it. A therapist who's never had ocd won't do jack shit for you, only you know what's wrong. Look into some prescription drugs, (paxil sucks, I've had friends who say it made their depression worse) and tell your parents about this shit, they should know or be concerned if they are any good. I'd avoid prozac though, it took the ocd away from me, but didn't change anything else. Plus it has sexual side effects such as loss of desire which isn't cool. Good luck bro. Things will get better if you really want them to.