How can I convince the gf to clean up her lifestyle?

[rms13]

You can't change someone you are with to make them into who you want. Move on and find someone who is what you want. If she does change shes going to leave you anyways because shell be feeling so good about herself that shell think she can do better than you even if she cant. But I have seen in several times in the past where someone I know pushes their significant other to clean up their life, get in shape etc and when the person does improve their life they think they can improve their boy/girlfriend and they will also have some resentment for being forced to change

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

Does her stress get in the way of things like sex and intimate time? Does her smoking pot get in the way of those activities?

Let's just say smoking is her self-admitted favorite thing to do. I think we're going to hit a wall sooner or later especially when it comes to ever wanting kids. The biggest thing is the can of worms it's going to open up, unless we can both get by on being very vague to everyone about the reasons if we ever split.

But like I said, it's not like she never went there already, so it'd be far from a shock for either one of us. It sucks because other than lifestyles we're pretty good together and I do love her, but I can only bend so much when it comes to standards, especially when marriage and kids are on the table.

Thanks to everyone for the input too. It's sketchy to discuss this in person with anyone since we both know the same people and you know how that can go.

 

[jiggagold]

sounds like a slob ditch her immediately

 

[simply dave]

Let's just say smoking is her self-admitted favorite thing to do. I think we're going to hit a wall sooner or later especially when it comes to ever wanting kids. The biggest thing is the can of worms it's going to open up, unless we can both get by on being very vague to everyone about the reasons if we ever split.

But like I said, it's not like she never went there already, so it'd be far from a shock for either one of us. It sucks because other than lifestyles we're pretty good together and I do love her, but I can only bend so much when it comes to standards, especially when marriage and kids are on the table.

Thanks to everyone for the input too. It's sketchy to discuss this in person with anyone since we both know the same people and you know how that can go.

OK...I'm going to lay this out as succinctly as possible. What's wrong with smoking pot? Up until about a month ago, I hadn't smoked pot since I went into the Army in 1979. I picked it back up recently and I like it. Why did I? Here's why...

I saw my wife and I drifting apart. Her life focused around MMJ advocacy and mine focused around fitness...quandary, yes? Oddly enough, it was I who suggested MMJ to her for her chronic pain. She embraced it and is now a pretty "big player" in the "industry" and has even been published.

BUT! I digress...

I saw us drifting apart. So....I thought I'd meet her "halfway" and begin smoking right before bed. Ya know what? I've never slept better. I've always been a light sleeper and when "on" it's even worse....I now sleep wonderfully. And we have a great time sharing together. While we smoke we play Yahtzee or Scrabble and have a great time.

Relationships are give and take and they most certainly aren't easy, but sometimes if we step out of our box...it can be fun. I know...I did...and I like it.

 

[smurf2]

It smells horrible. Plus, you don't want your 10 yr old son asking " what's that smell?" Or " why is daddy always in the bathroom?" Or "whats he tapping on the bathroom sink for?"
It gets real sketchy when you have little kids in the house

 

[nangiggles]

It smells horrible. Plus, you don't want your 10 yr old son asking " what's that smell?" Or " why is daddy always in the bathroom?" Or "whats he tapping on the bathroom sink for?"
It gets real sketchy when you have little kids in the house

This plus lung damage(yes tobacco is worse but they are both bad) memory loss, what if ur both stoned and an emergency happens? Both judgement and motor skills are impared for driving and decision making

Sent from my VM670 using EliteFitness

 

[zeosim]

Omfg if anyone drinks, and is married or has kids, it's no different. I would say worse, if your drinking and something happens your way more fucked then if your stoned no comparison

 

[just...v]

Take it from me, Darlin. I stayed in a relationship cause it was the "right" thing to do. Cause I refused to look at the bad and made excuses for his behavior. Years passed and two kids later, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I left sooner. If it's gonna happen anyway don't waste any more time.

She will not change for you.

 

[javaguru]

Let's just say smoking is her self-admitted favorite thing to do. I think we're going to hit a wall sooner or later especially when it comes to ever wanting kids. The biggest thing is the can of worms it's going to open up, unless we can both get by on being very vague to everyone about the reasons if we ever split.

But like I said, it's not like she never went there already, so it'd be far from a shock for either one of us. It sucks because other than lifestyles we're pretty good together and I do love her, but I can only bend so much when it comes to standards, especially when marriage and kids are on the table.

Thanks to everyone for the input too. It's sketchy to discuss this in person with anyone since we both know the same people and you know how that can go.

My ex-wife gave me her priorities, work, Nitchske and then me; by me she meant our relationship. I would put Nitchske above me as a loving moral entity but I won her back during our dating years by agreeing to conform to her expectations because I love her but putting UPS above the person that went out of their way to make them happy? It made me miserable and her unfulfilled no matter how successful she was in her career. We finally ended up in therapy and she didn't want to go back after the first session because her view wasn't advocated by the therapist. He simply stated, "Maybe you shouldn't be together."

 

[UA_Iron]

My ex-wife gave me her priorities, work, Nitchske and then me; by me she meant our relationship. I would put Nitchske above me as a loving moral entity but I won her back during our dating years by agreeing to conform to her expectations because I love her but putting UPS above the person that went out of their way to make them happy? It made me miserable and her unfulfilled no matter how successful she was in her career. We finally ended up in therapy and she didn't want to go back after the first session because her view wasn't advocated by the therapist. He simply stated, "Maybe you shouldn't be together."

So she was open-minded, right?