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WTF, is with.......

H_T_

H_T_

Da Pope
Platinum
married women????? i was doing so good, no booze for over a month, quit smoking for evah, laid off of my dope........ all it took is some unhappy, unappreciated, neglected little gal to get me to leave my virtue at the door. i mean, you guys would have never guessed it when she walked thru the door. no make-up, hair pulled back but she still managed to hide her face. wearing a sweater something like your Auntie would have. so just the tiniest bit of charm & tequila and it all came to light. hair down, sweater off, dancing on my lap like a stripper with past due bills. and i shoulda known what was coming, i did, actually, when a woman says: "help me to the little girls room". i'm just glad it was slow tonight, cuz of SuperBowl LX festivities downtown, that left the bathroom empty. fucking aye, i swear, if i ever get married, i'm gonna be leery anytime she wants to go out to the bar with the girls......
 
Woo Hooo

HT got lucky. Will you be going for seconds?
 
LOL. Had that been a single woman, that same married woman would have got on her "values & morals" pedastal and called her a whore (and then went home to have cyber sex with some stranger. lol). lol

Well, HT, at least you got laid.
 
humantarget said:
married women????? i was doing so good, no booze for over a month, quit smoking for evah, laid off of my dope........ all it took is some unhappy, unappreciated, neglected little gal to get me to leave my virtue at the door. i mean, you guys would have never guessed it when she walked thru the door. no make-up, hair pulled back but she still managed to hide her face. wearing a sweater something like your Auntie would have. so just the tiniest bit of charm & tequila and it all came to light. hair down, sweater off, dancing on my lap like a stripper with past due bills. and i shoulda known what was coming, i did, actually, when a woman says: "help me to the little girls room". i'm just glad it was slow tonight, cuz of SuperBowl LX festivities downtown, that left the bathroom empty. fucking aye, i swear, if i ever get married, i'm gonna be leery anytime she wants to go out to the bar with the girls......
Click to expand...
ya thats way the dont need to go to the bar.
 
nothing like this ever happens to me...
they just say..."if i wasnt married....id be doin your friend".....
 
Smurfy - no, the only thing i did was have a few shots & dirty sex in a bathroom stall. no dope or cigarettes. the thing was is that i thought i could stay away from the booze. i can still smell her. she works for a bank, which is funny & one of the things that got us going in the first place, cuz at one point i asked her where she danced at.....
 
in survey, 96% of people who have had sex in a public bathroom stall did not use protection, resulting in a high std rate of 89% of the 96%
 
Wow. That's a quite generalization. All married women must be sluts who will have dirty sex in a public washroom.
 
Gambino said:
in survey, 96% of people who have had sex in a public bathroom stall did not use protection, resulting in a high std rate of 89% of the 96%
Click to expand...
i always keep them within reach. Homey don't like being "swabbed".
 
EnderJE said:
Wow. That's a quite generalization. All married women must be sluts who will have dirty sex in a public washroom.
Click to expand...

No, not all. Just the unfaithful ones.

Ender, how ya feeling?
 
humantarget said:
i always keep them within reach. Homey don't like being "swabbed".
Click to expand...

ahh yes the good ole' swab...every red-blooded male should have the satisfaction of having your p-hole swabbed, great memories
 
d-town has a nationally high rate of gonorhea (read this in free press)...one of the countries highest. surely ht has caught that at least once or twice
 
nycgirl said:
No, not all. Just the unfaithful ones.

Ender, how ya feeling?
Click to expand...
Before the painkillers, bitching about life.

After the painkillers, loving life and all God's wonderful creates!
 
Gambino said:
ahh yes the good ole' swab...every red-blooded male should have the satisfaction of having your p-hole swabbed, great memories
Click to expand...
for those who are not familiar with the male penile swab, i will explain: they take one of those long sandwich toothpicks with the colored cellophane tassels at the end and then jam it down your urethra. back and forth, i swear these nurse bitches do it just out of revenge based on gender. they do one for EACH vd they think you might have. so, consider that, young sailors, when you think: "she looks clean....."
 
humantarget said:
for those who are not familiar with the male penile swab, i will explain: they take one of those long sandwich toothpicks with the colored cellophane tassels at the end and then jam it down your urethra. back and forth, i swear these nurse bitches do it just out of revenge based on gender. they do one for EACH vd they think you might have. so, consider that, young sailors, when you think: "she looks clean....."
Click to expand...


Now that does not make for a good visual. Ouch that must hurt :worried:
 
humantarget said:
for those who are not familiar with the male penile swab, i will explain: they take one of those long sandwich toothpicks with the colored cellophane tassels at the end and then jam it down your urethra. back and forth, i swear these nurse bitches do it just out of revenge based on gender. they do one for EACH vd they think you might have. so, consider that, young sailors, when you think: "she looks clean....."
Click to expand...
so tell us what it's like having gonorrhea
 
humantarget said:
you'd LOL @ some of the names here in tha' ghet-toe....
Click to expand...
oh Ive worked all up in the ghetto darlin. Spent lots of time up in Robert Taylor Housing Projects in the heart of Chicago's South Side. I onbce had a client who was 1.5 yrs old at the time. His name on his birth certificate was

first name: 'Lil Mike
middle: Tyson
last: Chapman
 
Smurfy said:
oh Ive worked all up in the ghetto darlin. Spent lots of time up in Robert Taylor Housing Projects in the heart of Chicago's South Side. I onbce had a client who was 1.5 yrs old at the time. His name on his birth certificate was

first name: 'Lil Mike
middle: Tyson
last: Chapman
Click to expand...
no shit? how bout this one: 2 brothers, names were needed for a police report involving a fire. the cop asks for the names and can't spell them so asks the mom to spell them out for him. it goes : L-e-m-o-n-j-e-l-l-o and O-r-a-n-g-e-j-e-l-l-o. Lemonjello & Orangejello. i still can't believe it....she pronounced it Le' MON juh-lo & O RON juh-lo.
 
humantarget said:
no shit? how bout this one: 2 brothers, names were needed for a police report involving a fire. the cop asks for the names and can't spell them so asks the mom to spell them out for him. it goes : L-e-m-o-n-j-e-l-l-o and O-r-a-n-g-e-j-e-l-l-o. Lemonjello & Orangejello. i still can't believe it....she pronounced it Le' MON juh-lo & O RON juh-lo.
Click to expand...


:FRlol:
 
humantarget said:
Smurfy - no, the only thing i did was have a few shots & dirty sex in a bathroom stall. no dope or cigarettes. the thing was is that i thought i could stay away from the booze. i can still smell her. she works for a bank, which is funny & one of the things that got us going in the first place, cuz at one point i asked her where she danced at.....
Click to expand...
Good man ;) Just stay away from the smokes! :rolleyes:

Nothing wrong with a little cheap, meaningless sex with a woman of loose morals in an appallingly revolting setting ... god, tell me y'all didn't touch any of the surfaces :worried:

Otherwise, good to hear you're feeling better :qt:
 
MuscleMom said:
Good man ;) Just stay away from the smokes! :rolleyes:

Nothing wrong with a little cheap, meaningless sex with a woman of loose morals in an appallingly revolting setting ... god, tell me y'all didn't touch any of the surfaces :worried:

Otherwise, good to hear you're feeling better :qt:
Click to expand...
i didn't, lest you consider her hips a dirty surface & her slick vage a revolting setting.
 
humantarget said:
no shit? how bout this one: 2 brothers, names were needed for a police report involving a fire. the cop asks for the names and can't spell them so asks the mom to spell them out for him. it goes : L-e-m-o-n-j-e-l-l-o and O-r-a-n-g-e-j-e-l-l-o. Lemonjello & Orangejello. i still can't believe it....she pronounced it Le' MON juh-lo & O RON juh-lo.
Click to expand...
Please tell me that's the punchline to a bad joke, please ...
 
humantarget said:
i didn't, lest you consider her hips a dirty surface & her slick vage a revolting setting.
Click to expand...
Just a pinch too much information ...

No man, I won't touch surfaces in public bathrooms ... I'm fucking weird, I'll use a paper towel to open the doors and stuff ... ick ...
 
humantarget said:
that's ghetto life. keepin' it real..
Click to expand...
Lemon jello ... hmmm, guess that was mom's aphrodesiac, or what she craved during the pregnancy ...
 
MuscleMom said:
Just a pinch too much information ...

No man, I won't touch surfaces in public bathrooms ... I'm fucking weird, I'll use a paper towel to open the doors and stuff ... ick ...
Click to expand...
i apologize for my sublty. you know tha' song, Tequila makes her clothes come off...........
 
bout fuggin time your ass gets some tang ;)
 
Erzulie said:
bout fuggin time your ass gets some tang ;)
Click to expand...
lmao, you jealous bitch! i've had a bit too much sex this year, or atleast too many different girls. atleast i think it's too many for a dude my age. i dunno...
 
humantarget said:
lmao, you jealous bitch! i've had a bit too much sex this year, or atleast too many different girls. atleast i think it's too many for a dude my age. i dunno...
Click to expand...


i :heart: U

:qt:
 
humantarget said:
who knows, she cudda been related to you. is your DNA tingling? musta been the cowboy hat........
Click to expand...



I thought i felt a tingle last night.. wasn't sure what the hell was going on. ;)
 
humantarget said:
only if'n your toes curled up and eyes rolled back......
Click to expand...


welll



hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm



i plead the fifth :verygood:
 
humantarget said:
you're coming on too strong........EZ, babe, it's only 4pm.....
Click to expand...


lol

theres not time when it comes to sex honey... day night.. don't matter.
 
FEISTY11975 said:
I would have been impressed if you had said a gallon
Click to expand...
wtf? that's what i mean about wimmens. never enough. the president needs to pass a bill placing a cap on the amount of orgasms a wimmen can have in one session.
 
humantarget said:
wtf? that's what i mean about wimmens. never enough. the president needs to pass a bill placing a cap on the amount of orgasms a wimmen can have in one session.
Click to expand...


well I think NOT!!!!!!!! :evil:
 
FEISTY11975 said:
nah

I am trying to get my post count up. what better way to do that then do it this way
Click to expand...

no offense, but your post count is weak...i go for quality as opposed to quanity
 
humantarget said:
for those who are not familiar with the male penile swab, i will explain: they take one of those long sandwich toothpicks with the colored cellophane tassels at the end and then jam it down your urethra. back and forth, i swear these nurse bitches do it just out of revenge based on gender. they do one for EACH vd they think you might have. so, consider that, young sailors, when you think: "she looks clean....."
Click to expand...

Sounds better than having a large, cold, metal clamp shoved into your vagina, then twisted to stretch the walls to open to show the cervix, where they then take the big long Qtip and swab the area, after which removing the clamp, putting gel on the glove, and shoving their hand up you to feel around your insides to check for anything abnormal. ;)
 
Smurfy said:
men are simply jealous of multi-orgasmic women.
Click to expand...

more men need to learn a little bit more about tantra

Whiskey
 
jujubes said:
Sounds better than having a large, cold, metal clamp shoved into your vagina, then twisted to stretch the walls to open to show the cervix, where they then take the big long Qtip and swab the area, after which removing the clamp, putting gel on the glove, and shoving their hand up you to feel around your insides to check for anything abnormal. ;)
Click to expand...
lmao. i would gladly have that done before having my urethra raped by a No.2 pencil.....
 
Smurfy said:
men are simply jealous of multi-orgasmic women.
Click to expand...
MEN!!! SHIT! Why shouldn't they be??? Hell, honey, I'M jealous of multi-orgasmic women!!!
 
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