Wife found my Var

[BigCracker]

Darlin', the common denominator in those situations is YOU. If the same thing happens twice to someone, chances are, it is something THEY are doing.

Methinks you pick the wrong women.

Not only that, but why is it YOUR job to "fix them" and enhance their lives? WHy not find a woman who you do not have to "fix"? I'd be pissed too if someone kept trying to "make me better" - I am a fucking adult. I'll fix myself if I want to. JMHO.

Thanks Dr Phil. Trying to fix them was never my mission, I just thought it was the right thing to do. I figured that the more that they liked themselves, the more that they'd like me. It's not like I pushed improving the quality of their life on them. They were willing participants that I thought were in it for the long haul. It's not like they wre saying, "don't help me diet or don't buy me fake tits-I don't wanna improve my appearance." Most guys beat their women down emotionally to control them by saying stuff like "I love you, but nobody else would." This is nothing more than a positive reaffirmation followed by a subliminal mental slam. It's the same way that a pimp makes his ho's bring him all the money they make, just not as severe. I choose not to treat girls this way because I don't need anyone around that bad that doesn't choose to be around by their own free will. I've been single now for 4 yrs and I've done a lot of soul searching during this time. I want a girl that doesn't need any fixing-yet the ones I find attractive always seem to have plenty of room for self improvement. I guess that is my shortcoming? I just avoid dating them seriously so I don't make the same mistake a 3rd time. BTW-I never claimed to be perfect.

The girls that do have their shit together often want all the benefits of "equality" in a relationship without any of the responsibilities.They want special privileges (men paying on dates, being "gentlemen" by using special deferential manners and language to women, being the main breadwinner, etc) but feign offering traditional obligations in return (being modest and ladylike, being a housewife, keeping their man happy in the bedroom, etc). I'm sure there are exceptions out there, but from a geographical standpoint, I don't think I live in a very target-rich environment. Phoenix is a lot like LA. Superficiality reigns supreme and the femi-nazi movement stands tall. Boob jobs are the high school graduation present of choice. Girls would rather date an asshole with a nice car than date a nice guy in a hooptee. Women here that don't have their own $80K/yr careers and a nanny(but are good full time wives/mothers) are viewed by others as if they've somehow sold themselves short in life. Guys that aren't supportive of their woman's careers are considered losers just because they don't want to play 2nd fiddle to their woman's job. How do you fit romance into a relationship when you both work 60+ hrs/ wk?

Oh well, if I ever get that desperate I can always marry up and have affairs on the side. That way I can have the security of a relationship and still provide myself with the things I need to be happy that my wife can't. That's what most guys do. Then again, I'm not most guys.

 

[Daisy_Girl]

Oh well, if I ever get that desperate I can always marry up and have affairs on the side. That way I can have the security of a relationship and still provide myself with the things I need to be happy that my wife can't. That's what most guys do. Then again, I'm not most guys.

That is quite a goal you have set for your future self. I feel very sad for you and your future wife. I wouldn't want to be in that situation - on either end.

 

[BigCracker]

That is quite a goal you have set for your future self. I feel very sad for you and your future wife. I wouldn't want to be in that situation - on either end.

Quit misconstruing my words. That was merely a sarcastic statement of what many guys will succumb to and what I'll never do myself.

In fact, I retract all previous negative depictions of women I've made in this thread. Women are a gift from God that are put on this Earth solely for the purpose of being adored by men. Each woman has their own unique personality and any character flaws that they might have should be embraced by all males unconditionally for their individuality and strife. Also, spending your life's earnings on women should be viewed as a valuable privelege that's a worthwhile investment in holding their interest. In addition, any sexual boundaries women have should be understood and respected without question, even if it means comprimising your own sexual needs to do so. No means no! Amen.

Vote Hitlerry Clinton 2008!!!

 

[havenlock]

Wow, this post really blew up...

A lot of great advice on here. I didn't expect to get so much feedback.

The bottom line is that everyone is right. I never wanted to have to had that shit from her. This is the tip of the iceberg. I could go into details about our relationship but it just comes down to be open and honest with your spouse.

She'll never accept it. So either A) I give it up B)continue hiding it, or C) Find me a woman that accepts what I do and the reasons I do it. I'm going to confront her. Who knows what will happen - but it's inevitable and for the best.

Thanks again to everyone who posted.