if by fight you mean take a nice big hot steaming dump on you, kick you in the groin, wrap you in saran wrap and piss on you, count me out. You are one sick bastard.
While you were running off at the mouth and stammering though that senseless tirade, I grabbed both your hands, firmly planted my right foot on your sternum and proceeded to pull with all my might. With a series of loud popping and tearing noises, your arms tore free of your torso and I proceeded to beat you mercilessly about the face and neck with your severed limbs.
if by fight you mean take a nice big hot steaming dump on you, kick you in the groin, wrap you in saran wrap and piss on you, count me out. You are one sick bastard.
I agree to enter in a battle of rock/papers/scissors with you. As you're counting to three to make your first move, I jam a pair of razor sharp scissors into your left eye while screaming, "Fuck yeah! Where's that depth perception of yours now asshole?!?!?" I then proceed to repeatedly smash a heavy rock into the side of your head and before you even hit the ground, I go to work on your crotch, smashing away at your genitalia with wild abandon. To finish the entire ordeal off, I take a thin piece of paper and deliver papercut after papercut to the exposed retina of your one remaining eye.
As your donning your Viking helmet and thick sheep's wool vest, I grab your testicles in my right hand and then pull hard, planting my left hand on your forehead to prevent you from being drawn bodily towards me. You scream in agony as your testicles tear free. With a smile on my face spreading from ear to ear, I eat your testicles, chewing loudly in obvious enjoyment. As you roll around in torment on the ground, I launch myself into the air and land with my feet together on the base of your skull, where your spine meets the back of your head. With a loud snap, your head goes limp and your eyes stare ahead blankly into the deep blue sky.
Wasting no time, I draw my mighty two handed axe and raise it over my head for a killing strike. With one powerful movement, I cleave my axe right through your thick skull, down through your torso and right out the bottom end of your pelvis. Both halves of your lifeless corpse fall to the ground in a gory mess. I quickly remove my pants, crouch low to the ground, and unload a huge steamer onto the now exposed left hemisphere of your brain.