What do you consider marrying young?

[AFeedz]

I've never thought about it like this, but it's hard to argue with that logic.

But the counterargument there is with free travel, an ever-shrinking world and Internet options, it might be easier to find that perfect, set-in-their-ways chicka.

It's not hard to argue with that logic.

The problem is, you're young, you're in love, you share all these hobbies, interests whatever...

Then you grow the fuck up and change and don't like to do the same shit anymore. I don't like to do the shit I did at 20 anymore now that I'm 23, and I may very well may not like to do whatever I do now when I'm 30 or 40. There's too much changing going on for many people in their 20's to get married IMO.

 

[AFeedz]

do you even get to pick the dress or it's what they want? was it the friend with the weird discipline thing?

In my experience, most of the time it works out to where the bride picks the dress or at the very very least, gives you guidelines, then you pick it and they approve it, then the bridesmaid pays for it.

This specific time it was the girl with the weird discipline thing, but it's been that way the other times I've been a bridesmaid as well.

 

[cindylou]

There is no right age to get married. If there was one, it would be super young, like mid to late teens where you do most of your thinking in your subconscious and just not aware of certain things lol. The older you get the more selfish you become..or "set in your ways"

 

[mrplunkey]

It's not hard to argue with that logic.

The problem is, you're young, you're in love, you share all these hobbies, interests whatever...

Then you grow the fuck up and change and don't like to do the same shit anymore. I don't like to do the shit I did at 20 anymore now that I'm 23, and I may very well may not like to do whatever I do now when I'm 30 or 40. There's too much changing going on for many people in their 20's to get married IMO.

I completely agree. Great post.

For guys, the harsh reality may be the we don't really mature until late 30's or early 40's.

 

[zwhit]

Fuck, I'm getting divorced after reading this thread

 

[calveless wonder]

It's not hard to argue with that logic.

The problem is, you're young, you're in love, you share all these hobbies, interests whatever...

Then you grow the fuck up and change and don't like to do the same shit anymore. I don't like to do the shit I did at 20 anymore now that I'm 23, and I may very well may not like to do whatever I do now when I'm 30 or 40. There's too much changing going on for many people in their 20's to get married IMO.

bam.

this x 1000.

joo sooo smart

 

[youpissmeoff]

I also don't really have an age by which I need to get married, but I can say I prob wouldn't marry someone I hadn't been with for a while, like 5 years or so so I know we can handle a good number of things thrown at us as a couple.

I also know I'm not waiting til marriage to figure out if we can live together well, that's for sure. And also definitely not until/unless we're both financially secure. Too much stress to add marriage on top of money troubles.

You will never get married under these conditions. Within 5 yrs, something will come up that will piss one of you off and if you don't have the marriage commitment holding you together, one is going to bolt.

 

[AFeedz]

You will never get married under these conditions. Within 5 yrs, something will come up that will piss one of you off and if you don't have the marriage commitment holding you together, one is going to bolt.

LOL That's some of the worst logic I've ever heard. That's the entire reason people divorce...because they think a ring is going to hold them together. Here's a secret: if you can't stay together and get through whatever life tosses your way while you're dating, you won't magically be able to get through it just because you spend a night in a pretty dress and write your names down on a piece of paper. Marriage isn't magic.

If as a couple, you're prone to deal with problems by leaving each other, you're going to do it married or not. And the entire problem with modern day marriage, in my opinion, is people like you who do it because they think it'll just solve all their problems.

 

[youpissmeoff]

LOL That's the entire reason people divorce...because they think a ring is going to hold them together. If you can't hold it together without being married, you can't hold it together being married either.

So what I said stands, and if I can't get through 5 years with a guy, I obviously can't get through a lifetime either just because our names are on the same piece of paper.

Oh I assure you there are many times when you would say - Fuck It - I am out if you were not married have kids etc. With marriage and family, that is not an option. Then a few months later, what seemed to be a huge deal breaker is hardly something you think about.

 

[AFeedz]

Oh I assure you there are many times when you would say - Fuck It - I am out if you were not married have kids etc. With marriage and family, that is not an option. Then a few months later, what seemed to be a huge deal breaker is hardly something you think about.

It actually is an option, that's why the divorce rate is so high. And people do it. People leave their wives/husbands/kids all the time, and I guarantee you it's the same type of people who would've run had the couple stayed an unmarried couple for a longer amount of time.

Some people deal with problems, some people run away from them. That's the way it is, and marriage doesn't change that. So of course I'm going to date someone long enough that I know we can always work through our problems without running away before marrying them.

I'd rather find out he's a "run away from our problems" kind of guy while we're dating rather than when we're married with kids.